115 Absolute Insanity POV (1/2)

How long?

How long has it been?

How long has it been since… since…?

Since I am able to form a single coherent thought? Days? Weeks? Months? Or maybe years?

It feels like years. Years!

It feels like years in this dark and damped and cold place, where the sun and sky could never be seen no matter what.

This is my life now, and this small jailcell is my entire world.

Countless faceless men have constantly invaded my world. They did so every day. Every single day! It is in order to use me and my body or to chop off my arms and legs or maybe to do both. Ah! Yes! They usually do both. Both! And it is not done in any particular order. No. Not any order at all.

And they don't come into my world alone, one by one, taking turn. No, not alone. Never alone. Never alone anymore. Often, more than one person joins in the fun. Join in the wonderful fun…

What fun? What fun!?

Ahahahahahaha…

What is so funny? Who is laughing? Who is it? Who is it!?

I don't know. I don't really know.

Please don't ask me anymore. I have no answer. No answer at all.

Oh God! Oh God!

They have learned that if they tie up my bleeding stumps with dirty rags and ropes, my arms and legs will not be able to regenerate, turning me into a perfect cock-sleeve, capable of only anguished wailing and crying, for their pleasure.

Oh God! Oh God. That is what they wanted. That is what they always wanted! Always!

That is… what the monsters wanted! Yes. They are monsters. Monsters in human forms. All of them. It is a world gone mad. Gone mad. Gone completely mad!

Ahahahahahaha…

Shut up! Shut up! All of them. All of them! Stop laughing at me. Stop laughing at me!

I am. I am. Who am I? Where am I?

Ah. That's right.

I remember. I remember now!

They only want me to wail and cry in fear and hopelessness as they ride me towards their blissful and blissful pleasure.

But I won't let them. I won't let them. No. No. No. I will not let them. Yes. Yes. My wailing and crying have stopped long ago. A very long time ago.

There is only silence now. And I feel nothing.

Nothing at all.

Nothing at all, aside the madness that whispers in the back of my mind.

Always whisperings and whispering.

Oh God! Oh God! Are you there? Are you really there?

No. He is not. He is not!

Not!

Not!

Not!

I have also stopped answering their questions. I have stopped speaking all together. No sounds escape my throat. No tears coat my dead eyes. My beauty has also faded away with them. That is the truth is it not? The rusty steel that keep me trapped in this place have witnessed everything.

Everything! Everything!

Hehehehehehehehe… everything! Yes. Yes. Everything. Dark and damp and cold. All mine.

Mine!

Belonging to my world. My world! The world of darkness. Darkness!

I… I… where am I? How long has I been here? How long? A day? A week? A month? A year? No. It feels like years in this dark and cold and damped place.

The light can never reach me down here, freeing me from this nightmare, and the darkness does not take me into its merciful embrace despite it is everywhere, surrounding me, surrounding me!

Surrounding us!

Who? Who?

Who am I? I am… I am… ah, I remember… I remember now…

I am Marian… Marian… Oxford. I am the heiress to… to… to…

That means nothing there! Nothing here! Nothing in this world!

Ahahahhahahahahhahah…!

Yes. It means nothing in this world. Absolutely nothing in this world. It means nothing to the men who are struggling to live in this world. A world that is already dead. Dead. Gone.

I am dead. I am alive. I am both. There is no power, wealth or prestige here. None can be found. None can be found at all.

But they are not important! Not important! Heheheheh… not important. Yes. All an illusion. All just an illusion leading towards despair. Absolutely despair!

Someone comes. Someone comes!

We are not alone anymore. Not anymore! Isn't that nice Marian? Isn't that nice?

The door to the jailcell opens again, allowing a group of men inside. They are here to have fun again. Fun again! Oh, what wonderful fun this will be.

Aren't you having fun?

No. No. I am not. I am not.

The leading man pulls me off the floor by my golden blond hair, tearing more than a handful.

It hurts. Oh God, it hurts! But. But. But it does not force any kind of reaction for me. Not anymore.

Even if they tear all the hair from my skull, I will not react. I will not react. Nothing they can do to me will elicit a reaction.

Nothing does anymore. Nothing! And it will just grow right back like relentless weeds.

Yes. Yes. Eheheheh. It will grow back. Grow right back. Growing back beautifully like before.

My dead eyes stare straight ahead. Staring straight ahead at the faceless old man before being forced to witness his mutilated neck, chest, stomach and then hips as he lowers my head to where it needs to go.

I did not pay the blood staining his entire body and limbs as his nauseating meat forces itself between my lips and into my mouth and throat as I stare blankly ahead, not focusing on anything particular.

The pungent tastes and smells would have emptied my stomach countless of times before, but it does not anymore.

Not anymore. Not anymore.

There is also nothing to throw up. I have not eaten anything all day and every day aside from… from…

The old man soon let out a faint groan as his malnourished meat spills what little it manages to save up into my mouth and throat. I swallow on reflex, allowing the yellowish milk to settle in my stomach and sate a bit of my hunger.

My hunger. My hunger!

The hunger has always been there with me since the beginning, slowly eating into my body and turning me into a walking husk. But even a walking husk has its usefulness.

Yes. Yes. I still have my usefulness. Isn't that what you want? What you want!? Where are you!? Where are you? You are still watching, aren't you?

Aren't you!? No. You're not watching anymore. You're gone. A figment of my imagination.

Only we are here. Only me and I. Isn't that right?

Ahahahahahaha!