Part 43 (1/2)
September 27, 1937 I suppose subconsciously I knew that he was fucking Ulla but I wouldn't admit it Ever since that day I saw her pull his pants off toin his underwear But I didn't face it until I walked in on theone to take Dr, Pincus to the train station The doctor had been continually a like it before Already Daniel was beginning to take short but still shaky walks without the cane
''The human willpower,” Dr Pincus had said on the drive down, 7 don't think we'll ever understand it Bones were broken, nerves,to the book there is no way he could ever do what he is doing' He glanced atanymore Not even the nursery rhyain Only he has to do it himself”
Then the car stalled on the way back and I had to walk the last quarter-mile to the cabin They were naked on the floor She was on her back, herupward like twin ainst her belly with her hands under her knees He was poised over her, supported by his arht out behind hiain and again until he collapsed in orgasainst her Junoesque body
She stroked hi alut Ven ve are finished, your legs vill be ass strong ass your prick”
I tried to close the door quietly before they could see me, but he looked up just at the lastthe door and sat down on the s with the help of his two canes, and sank into a chair next to mine
We didn't speak for a long while Then he finally spoke, 7 suppose you wonder ere doing?''
''I knohat you were doing fucking”
He laughed ''That's right But what else?”
''What else could it be?” I asked sarcastically ' 'fucking is fucking''
”It's part of my rehabilitation” he said
”Ohy sure” I said, skeptically ”But your cock was never broken - only your legs”
”It's a kind of push-ups”
”I could see that”
”Really It's a way of exerting pressure on the legs”
I couldn't help it I began to laugh ”The pleasure was just incidental?”
He grinned ”You know me I never could resist a little pussy”
”That wasn't a little pussy ” I said ”That was a lot Even for you”
He laughed and reached for my hand Then he was serious ”I'll send her away if you want”
”No/' I said ”There's just one change I' to make”
”What's that?”
”If you have to exercise, you're going to do it with me I've been too easy on you Always on top so that you wouldn't strain yourself Now you can go back to work and I'll lie back and enjoy it”
October 10, 1937 He's walking When he's tired, with one cane But he's walking Today I took Dr Pincus and Ulla to the train The doctor was so iton to work in his office He didn't know it, but with the kind of physical therapy she was ready to give his patients he would have to becoot back to the cabin, Daniel was sitting on the porch, a drink in his hand, puffing on a cigar, A bottle of whiskey and another glass were on the table next to him He poured so the glass toward hilasses and drank ''Nohat do we do?'
”First, Fetback with Murray?”
He shook his head, black anger flashi+ng in his eyes ”He can go fuck hi as Murray is with him”
”You can still talk to my Uncle Fo Maybe even start my own union”
”Your own union? In what industry? It see is covered now”
”Not everything,” he answered ”Fve been thinking that the union ainst their leaders”
”Fhat doesn't hed ”Who knows? It s done to the union in to wonder exactly for whose benefit the whole thing is run But Fet around more Fhere's still lots I have to learn”
”And what aboutwhile you're doing all this?”
He refilled his glass ”You have your job with your uncle”
”I left that,” I said ”I cati't go crawling back to him now You know that”
'Welly you don't need the money anyway You havery, 'T about you and me”
He didn't answer
You knoant to marry you'
He still didn't answer
rlass shattered in his hand Angrily, he flung it away fro against the wooden rail His voice was thick 'No, Goda to do that to me All you women are alike You think your cunts can nail a man down Tess did that to ain” He got to his feet and went to the door ''You get yourself an abortion or do whatever the hell you want It's your baby, not mine”
The door slammed behind him, and I heard the crash as he stumbled and fell I opened the door and looked down at him stretched out on the floor He turned his head, and his eyes stared up at rily
''fuck you!” I said, and closed the door on him It was the first time there was no one there to pick him up when he fell
October 15, 1937 I had my abortion today The doctor wouldn't tell o I haven't heard fro The doctor says he's coive me a shot so I can sleep
There were few entries in the diary after that date She began a new diary the next year, but after the first few entries that too seeiven up, and there were no further diaries for the following years Neither was there any further mention of my father
Christina stared down into the red wine in her glass ''I wonder if she ever saw hiain afterward”
'I don't think so” I put the diaries back into the box we had brought from the warehouse ''When were your parents married?”
”Nineteen forty-five After the war My father was a colonel in Eisenhower's headquarters in London Hein the office of procurement They were married when they came back to the States I was bom the next year And yours?”
''Nineteen fifty-six Ten years after my father founded CALL It took him almost nine years to start the union he talked about to yourthose nine years?” she asked