Part 25 (1/2)
I looked at her ”I can't Not just yet”
”Why?”
”You keep askingyou the same answer I don't knohy”
She passed me the joint I took a few more tokes, then lay back and watch the dark cover the sky like a blanket She finished the joint and pinched it out carefully, burying it in the ground She moved over and put her head on my shoulder ”I'll miss you”
I didn't answer
”You knohere to findover at your house”
”I know,” I said
”Don't be too long,” she said ”I'd like to be young with you just a little while longer We all grow up too fast”
I stood in front of the shack and watched the pickup make its way down the dirt road I saw Anne's face in the rear , looking back at esture of farewell I held up one, and I picked up my backpack and slipped it over my shoulders It was almost eleven o'clock, and the sun was already hot The twelve-thirty bus would put her in New York at five; if she could catch the five-fifty out of Grand Central, she could be hohway led me past the ce down at the freshly turned earth, the neat rows of seeds planted around the graves
'Don' you worry, Jonathan,” Betty May proit water ever' day There'll be flowers there almost afore you kin turn aroun'”
I looked down at the shack and wondered if I ever really would come back Maybe I would be somewhere else
Don't wonder, my son You will come back''
'Are you sure, Father? You never came back”
/ did once, Jonathan The sheriff told you about that”
'But you didn't stay”
'Neither will you''
Then what is the purpose? I ht as well not come back”
”You'll have to For the saain”
7 don't understand, Father''
You will, Jonathan When the time comes You will come back for your child”
''My child Father?”
”Yes, my son The child you never made”
Bill at the Carpenters, Murray and Green at AFL headquarters Even Hillman and Dubinsky, who hated each other, would be just as happy if he did not exist
''You go out to KC,” they had said ”If anyone could get the oing to Siberia Of the last four organizers they'd sent out there, according to his count, he was the only one still alive And for how long was a matter of conjecture No truck stop, four out of four They could just as well have hung him on a meat hook in a freezer locker the way they had poor Sam Masters
Three days in a car with the Eyeties Three of theuns and knives they packed Three days eating garlic-sausage sandwiches until the stink could have run the car better than the gas they put in it Three days shi+tting at the side of the road with your ass freezing in the wind, wondering whether they were going to coh your head or up your ass Three days of waiting outside phone booths while they telephoned back for instructions Then, last night, when they got back into the car, he had known the waiting was over They suddenly stopped talking Even to each other The car began to go west along 66 At h St Louis Twenty hway
The door opened, a heavy shoe kicked hi out onto the icy road He landed on his back, flat on the ground, his hands outstretched He saw thelike a cannon in his hand Reflex-ively he curled hiet as possible He heard the roar of the gun as the autoh hi He couldn't believe it He turned, staring up at the gun broadly ”You shi+t in your pants I can sunman said ”Don't come back to Kansas City or the next-a time you won't smell your own shi+t You'll be dead”
The car door slammed, the motor roared and the car made a U-turn and sped back on the road toward Kansas City, Suddenly it stopped, reversed abruptly and backed up toward hi up
The driver stopped opposite hi his hand in the opposite direction froo that-a way Two ain and its rear lights vanished down the highway
He moved off the side of the road and cleaned himself as best as he could with snow he melted in his hand, dried himself on pieces of cold, brittle newspaper the wind had blown there, then began to walk Two hours Then he saw the lights It took hiet there
The white and red bulbs shone like the sign over the gateway to heaven TRUCK STOP GAS EATS BUNKS BATHS Six big trucks were parked on the far side of the station, their tarpaulins tied down in gray-shrouded silence against the elements Carefully he walked around behind the trucks before he entered the building There were no cars parked No point in taking any chances in case the Eyeties changed their ht have been a setup So there for him
Quietly he went to a sideand peered in The restaurant was e up the tables for breakfast, and a counterister while reading the newspaper After a last glance around to reassure himself, he went to the front door and opened it
He did not go inside Stood in the open doorway The wind blew into the restaurant, and they looked up at him
''Shut the fuckin' door,” the counterman said ”It's freezin'”
''Come in,” called the waitress
”I need a bath first,” he said In spite of hian to chatter
The waitress looked at hiet a cup of coffee”
”Where's the bath?” he asked ”Bring the coffee there” He looked at the counterman ”Got an extra pair of pants to sell ht?”
”Some Wops beat the shi+t out of me and du a couple of lumps of ice around with ot a pair of work pants that h They're almost new”
The man stuck his hand in his jacket pocket and came up with a bill He held it out toward the waitress ”There's five dollars Bring the coffee and the pants over to the bath And a razor too, if you can spare it”
The waitress took the bill fro on your left, next to the bunk-house”
”Thank you, ma'am,” he said politely
The door closed behind him, and they saw hi The waitress took the five-dollar bill over to the register and gave it to the counterman
”Those pants ain't wu'th more'n a dollar an' you know it,” she said reproachfully”
”Mebbe to you an' mebbe toup twenty- five cents on the register, took out the change, pocketed two dollars and gave her the rest 'I took out fer the bath and razor”