C34 (1/2)

”Holy sh * t, that's it?” When the master saw that I led him to my house, he looked displeased. I said, ”Master, you're the only one who should eat. What are you eating so late at night for?”

The master chattered on, ”There's a whole street full of barbecues. It's not as fun as this snack bar.” I said, ”Master, you want a barbecue?” The Master said, ”Yes, yes, yes. It's been a long time since I've had a piece of meat. I'm so hungry.” I said, ”Master, aren't you afraid that Bodhisattva will blame you?” The Great Master said, ”What do you know? The meat and wine have passed through my intestines, and Buddha is sitting right there. Come, come, come, drink with me.”

On the way, the monk took off his monastic robe and stuffed it into his bag. Then he took out a wig and put it on.

When we reached the barbecue street, I saw that the night was bright and the monk was almost drooling from the sight of the barbecue. I quickly grabbed onto him to prevent him from going to other people's tables to snatch food.

The waiter came up to the menu. I said, ”Grandmaster, please order some. Don't order too much. I'll pay you fifty yuan for it.” The Great Master smirked. ”Brat, you're looking down on me too much. Do I look like a poor monk? Isn't it that I'm poor?” The master ordered fifteen kebabs, fifteen kebabs, twenty kebabs, and two large glasses of beer.

Seeing the grandmaster's boldness, I suspected that he came from Liang Shan. I asked him, ”Grandmaster, do you want to hold a meeting with your son, or did you donate one of your kidneys to him in order to find a familiar feeling. Do you believe that our table will be the same as a pail of urine later on?” The master said unhappily, ”What do you know, I haven't eaten meat at home for a long time, only my kidneys can satisfy my craving. Sigh, thinking about how I loved to eat kidneys before I left, it's a pity, there are too many rules at work, I can't always eat meat, it's a great regret in my life.”

My face darkened. ”Master, where are you from? I'll pay you a visit when I have time.” The Master said, ”I only told you because I saw that you and I were fated to meet. Don't tell anyone else. I am the monk from the Pure Land Temple on the east side of the city, Wu Kong.” Wu Kong? Why don't you do your best? I asked, ”Eldest senior brother, have you finished taking the scripture?”

He said, ”What senior brother? Don't try to get close to me. There's no need. If you have time, go to our Pure Land Temple and play. No, go burn incense and beg for peace. Find me, I'm useful.”

I said, ”Master, you're really called Wu Kong? Are you for real? You actually dare to call the Great Sage by his name?” The master looked confused. ”What Wu Kong? What are you talking about?” I said, ”Didn't you just say you were called Wu Kong?” The Master said, ”When did I ever say I was Wu Kong?” I said, ”Then what's your real name?” The Master said, ”I... What's my name? ”

I saw that the barbecue came and the beer came, so I said to him, ”Okay, let's eat and talk. Maybe you'll remember after you drink some wine. Come on, let's go.” The two of us clinked glasses and the master took a big gulp. Then, he raised his head and said with a face full of enjoyment, ”Hiss, this tastes great. It's so f * cking satisfying.” After saying that, he grabbed a large waist and stuffed it into his mouth.

”Aiya, aiya, it's so hot, it's scalding me to death.” The master's manner of baring his fangs and brandishing his claws did not seem like he was part of a family. I said, ”Master, eat slowly. I don't want to fight with you for it.” He said while chewing, ”Well, don't call me master. Before I left home, I was called Lu Weiliang. You can call me Brother Liang.” Why was everyone in the city willing to be someone's brother? I said, ”Brother Liang, then where were you before you left home?”

He said, ”Don't mention it, I don't even know where I came from. I haven't seen my parents since I was young, and my grandparents brought me up, so when I was 16 years old, my grandparents died. My uncle didn't want to care about me, so he sent me to the Pure Land Temple.” Sigh, he was also a person with a bitter life.

However, it was rare for him to be so optimistic. I said, ”Brother Liang must have seen through the mortal world.” Brother Liang said, ”Hey, what's the matter? Don't you think I'm living pretty well? Master is good to me, and senior and junior are also good. I can come out and play if I have nothing to do and have fun.” I couldn't help but praise, ”Brother Liang, your mental state is really high. This little brother will give you one.” ”Dry!”

We drank until the early hours of the morning, not much to eat, not much to drink, until Lu Weiliang swayed on his feet, and when we paid the bill, he found that there was not enough money left, and we were embarrassed. Lu Weiliang took out his ultimatum after a long time, and said to the barbeque owner with an old face, ”Sir, you see, I am lucky with this little extra point, okay?” The boss was so angry that he almost picked up a rolling pin to give us a beating. It was still the Lady Boss who was considerate. She said she would give it to us next time.

We came out with our faces covered in dirt, smiling at each other around the corner. Brother Liang said, ”Hehehe, this meal was worth it.” I said, ”Hmm, Liang-ge's ultimatum is really good. Can you give me one some day?” He generously said, ”Sure, I'll give it to you when I retire.”

When we reached a small alley, Liang-ge ran over and released his belt against the wall. Looking at his happy expression, I also released him. After that, Liang-ge and I hummed a small tune as we walked towards home. I said, ”Aiya, that's bad. My mouth tasted like alcohol, but what's to be done, my parents found out that they can't beat me up.” Brother Liang laughed contemptuously, ”Haha, I've only seen you drink a few times. I used to drink because I was afraid that my master would know. I wanted to make a move. Watch and see.” As he finished, he ran to the corner of the wall and began to dig his throat. After a while, he heard the sound of someone 'vomiting' and he began to vomit all over the ground.

I went over and patted his back. ”Can you do it? The affinity we had just turned into white. It was all ruined by you.” He said weakly, ”Everything in this world is fated to be born. If there is fate, it happens; if there is no fate, it leaves. Look, there is no fate between me and this big waist.” As he said that, he put his hands together and revealed a look of compassion, ”Everything is just like a dream, a fantasy. That's like lightning, but it should be done according to the laws. Haozi, do you understand?”