317 Vol. 6 pt. 3 (2/2)
”Alright. You win, but on one condition,” he says.
”What condition?”
”The condition is that it's a tie. We both win.”
”You drive a hard bargain.”
”I know.”
”Okay. We both win.”
”We both love each other more than the other loves the other. This means that it's like a neverending, growing feedback loop of love. Every single second that passes by from now until the end of eternity is another second where our love grows stronger.”
”That was really cheesy.”
”Li-listen, I just – I thought it sounded smooth in my head.”
”Uh-huh,” she says, placing her lips back against his lips. ”It was cheesy but true. My love won't ever stop growing.”
Neither of them can resist having rosy cheeks and stupid smiles on their faces at this point.
”Is that why you want so many kids? Because you could never possibly go through all your love?” he asks.
”No. That wouldn't be a good reason because kids would make my love production even stronger.”
”It's something you produce? Do you have special love glands that pump out love?”
”Yeah.”
”Where are they?”
”In my boobs. They're small but powerful.”
”So, you're saying that all your love comes from your boobs?”
Serra nods.
”I guess I'm going to have to give them lots of love then. I need to love your love as directly as I can.”
”Yeah. And your love glands are in your dick, so you have to love my boobs with your dick.”
”In other words, apply dick directly to the boobs?”
”Apply headcrabs directly to foreheads. Apply dicks directly to boobs.”
”That's beautiful. You're beautiful.”
”You're more beautiful.”
”That – that might be the first time I've ever been called beautiful. I'm not sure how to feel about it.”
”You're beautiful, Fenny.”
”I suppose I do have some pretty beautiful hair with this avatar.”
”You're beautiful in real life even more.”
As much as Fenrir wants to deny that to claim that his in-game avatar is objectively more attractive than his real-world body, he knows that not a single one of his girlfriends would ever let him say that and get away with it.
”It's not fair that I don't get to say the same to you,” he says.
Unlike with his own avatar, Serra's still looks exactly like she does in reality from her chest to her face and her petite size.
Whereas Fenrir is nearly a foot taller than he is in reality with a much broader frame, more muscles, longer hair, and—of course—the canid ears atop his head and the fluffy tail hanging behind him.
He could tease her about how she sounds cuter in real life given that she can't hear herself and often makes adorable mistakes when she tries to talk, but the good boyfriend inside of him tells him that probably wouldn't be a good thing to tease her about.
Though, he never will forget her ”hwuak.”
”You know what I need in real life?” he asks.
”What?”
”One of those kigurumis now that the rest of you have them.”
”Get a pig one.”
”Why – why a pig?”
”So we can call you piggy.”
”My masochistic side isn't that strong.”
”But what if Nell goes princess mode and calls you her piggy while ordering you to get on your knees and then she puts her feet on your head?”
”The previous statement still applies. Though… maybe that would be slightly enjoyable. But, you know that one of you would have to lift her feet for her, right?”
An expression of shock comes onto Serra's face.
How could she have forgotten something that important?!
”Oh, I know,” she says.
”Yeah?”
”She could order you to put her feet on your head.”
”That sounds more comical than sexual. Like a skit out of a comedy.”
”I think it'd be cute and hot. A princess who wants to be dominant and bossy but can't be without help”
”I agree! That does sound rather wonderful, Serra,” a third voice says. ”It is tragic as well! A princess with the inner desire to be dominant and abusive towards those who serve her, yet her physical incapabilities prevent her from truly living out her desires. Thus, she may only truly be herself and experience pleasure when others allow her to! She would think of herself as the dominant one, but she would only be dominant because everybody else allows her to be so. I love it!”
”This really is all you guys talk about, huh?” a fourth voice asks.
Fenrir and Serra slowly turn their heads to look at the latest boarders of The Shoebill.
Nell and Eva.
”How – how long have you two been here?” Fenrir asks.
”Something about love glands,” Eva answers.
Fenrir wipes a bead of sweat off of his forehead.
Good. She didn't hear anything about their cum conversation.
”Apologies for not making our presence known, my hero,” Nell says. ”We saw you two having a moment and did not want to interrupt! However, I figured that it would be alright to say something once I was brought up in the conversation. It is only natural to join in when being talked about, yes? It is like an invitation!”
”I… guess so,” he replies.
”Why do you look sad?” Serra asks Eva.
”Hmm? Oh. She beat me,” Eva answers. ”We raced over here to see whose wings were faster. Turns out that she's like a glass cannon when it comes to speed. My wings might be stronger, more durable, and can do more damage, but hers are way faster and let her do all sorts of crazy maneuvers. I didn't stand a chance.”
”Please, Eva! You were almost literally on my tail the entire flight!” Nell says. ”I expected you to pass me up so easily that I almost got competitive!”
”Wait… you weren't being competitive? You can go even faster?”
”Indeed! You should not be so disappointed in the results when you were taking it so easy on me. Perhaps we should have a race back to the shore with our true speed?”
”I think I'll have to pass.”
”A-ah… could – could it be that you were going as fast as you could?”
”Yeah…”
”Ah. I must apologize then. I am sure that what I said sounded like I was rubbing salt into the wound, but I promise you that I had no such intent. I genuinely believed that you must have been taking it easy on me given how impressive you are at everything! Even if I am faster in the air, I am sure that you are superior in every other category.”
But that doesn't matter to Eva.
To Eva, all that matters is that she's inferior in one category.
What's the point in being a combination of a bunch of different species if not to become the ultimate hybrid capable of surpassing all others?
Well, what's the point other than simply experimenting for the sake of experimenting?
Which, when she thinks about it, is all that really matters.
But even so.
”It's alright,” Eva says. ”I'll find wings that are even faster than yours.”
”Wouldn't it be easier to just get rid of all those heavy parts you have? Your tail, horns, scales – all of that?” Fenrir asks.
”Are you suggesting that I chop off my limbs to increase my speed?”
”No. I'm suggesting that you maybe revert to—”
”I wonder how much speed I would gain if I cut them off… I only need my wings to fly. If I cut my legs, arms, and tail off, then I might gain enough speed to defeat her.”
”Please don't. That's an even worse idea than the cum thing.”
”What cum thing?”
”Nothing. Never mind. Have fun cutting your limbs off.”
Eva flashes him a smile and a thumbs-up that are far too enthusiastic for what he just said.
Way, way too enthusiastic.
”I take it back. Please don't,” he requests.
But when somehow, in the blink of an eye, she acquired a cleaver meant for cutting large slabs of meat and is holding it over her tail.
”What? But you just said to have fun,” Eva says.
”Where – where did you get that?” Fenrir asks.
”My hero, you should not ask a girl to spoil her secrets,” Nell says in a motherly tone as if scolding her child for inappropriate behavior.
”Yeah. Bad boy,” Serra says, causing his ears and tail to droop.
”Wait! Why aren't either of you concerned about her pulling a cleaver out of nowhere to chop off her tail with?!” he asks.
”My hero, if you do not worry about what you should actually be worried about then we are going to run aground,” Nell says.
Fenrir peeks around them and sees that they are far closer to the shore than he thought they were.
They sailed a significant distance in the time that was spent flirting and talking.
Eva raises her cleaver-wielding arm up.
”Not on the ship!” Fenrir shouts as he spins The Shoebill's wheel to turn her away from the beach.
”It'll wash off,” Eva says.
”If you get blood on the ship then I'm telling Tabs. Trust me, you don't want me to tell Tabs that.”
”He is right. That would be potentially catastrophic for you,” Nell says.
”Tabs can be scary. She has rage glands instead of love glands,” Serra says.
”And her rage glands must be even stronger since her chest is even smaller,” Fenrir thinks to himself.
”Onii-wan,” Saya says in a serious tone.
”Yeah?”
”Why are you thinking about how small a girl's chest is? Especially when it comes to a girl of Tabitha's size?”
”It's – the context matters. I'm not thinking about her chest like that!”
”Onii-wan.”
”Ye-yeah?”
”I'm reporting you to the FBI.”
”Please don't. I'm innocent.”
”Lolicons are guilty of all crimes.”
”A-all of them?”
”All of them.”
”Then it's a good thing I'm not a lolicon.”
”Is that why you have Tabitha's chest size memorized?”
”That's like asking me why I'd have it memorized that a board is flat! Or being suspicious that I memorized water is wet!”
Meanwhile.
”What's with the pissed off face?” Rao asks Tabitha.
She was hammering away on a wooden board before.
Now she is very, very angrily hammering away on a wooden board.
There is even so much force behind her swing that it breaks through the board and sends splinters flying right past Rao's head.
”I don't know,” Tabitha answers.
”You don't know why you're so pissed off?”
”I have a feelin' that I'm bein' involved in somethin' stupid somewhere. I've got senses for this sort of thing.”
”Is it like how people sneeze when they're being talked about?”
”Yeah, but replace sneezin' with sendin' people flyin' with my hammer.”
”Well, I'm not talking about you, so I'm safe.”
”But I can't be sure that you ain't thinkin' somethin' stupid about me,” she says, directing her angry glare and her hammer at him.
”Why would I ever think anything stupid about you? You're like a kid.”
Despite his words potentially being fuel to some women, they cause Tabitha to sigh and set her hammer down.
”That's right. Let's keep it that way,” she says.
Though, there is one idea that crosses into Rao's mind.
It is the idea of what Tabitha might look like in real life.
Could it be that she's actually some tall girl with giant breasts? Is that why she plays such a small looking—
”Oi,” Tabitha says, wielding her hammer once more. ”You're thinkin' somethin' weird, aren't you?”
”That depends on how you define weird,” Rao says.
Back at The Shoebill, Nell has just finished wrapping up her rant about how much she loves Fenrir's and Serra's new look.
But that doesn't mean she's done talking.
”I just came up with a new fantasy!” Nell declares. ”With how you look like a raiding barbarian now—”
”That's an insult to ancient Romans,” Fenrir says.
”That is alright. I am sure they do not mind. Back to the fantasy, with how you look, and with how Serra looks like a dreadful pirate queen now, it would be perfect for roleplay! I would be the tied-up princess, kidnapped from my home and tossed below deck to serve as the plaything of Dread Pirate Queen Serra and her henchwomen, Cassiel and Azalabulia! Now, I am not sure how you would play into this, my hero. You would either be my hero again but get corrupted by Serra and used to torment me, or you would come to take over the vessel yourself while turning all of us into your submissive playthings for you and your crew of ferocious pirates starved of women from being away on the seas for months!”
”Let's go with the former,” Fenrir says.
”Well, the roleplay would obviously end before it gets to the 'and your crew' part. That would be like an epilogue that happens in our thoughts instead of actually getting acted out! Wonderful, yes?”
”Dread Pirate Queen,” Serra repeats. ”I like it. Fen, can I be a Dread Pirate Queen?”
Fenrir rubs the top of her head over her hat and nods. ”You can be whatever you want, Dread Pirate Queen Serra.”
”Fuck yeah.”
”There you go. You've already gotten used to it.”
”Dread Pirate Queens have to swear.”
”Don't forget they also have to talk like pirates.”
”Arr.”
”That was the most intimidating 'arr' that I've ever heard,” he says in response to hearing the least intimidating 'arr' that he has ever heard.
”Can I be the dragon that sets all of the ships on fire at the ending?” Eva asks.
”Ah, you would like to be included?” Nell asks. ”A dragon coming out of the sky to set the ship on fire as we are still inside of it would provide quite the dramatic twist! I have never considered adding such shocking plot revelations to my fantasies before, but that is something I may have to start doing! There are so many more possibilities if I do that.”
”You two are way too dangerous together,” Fenrir tells Nell and Eva.
”You mean fun,” Serra says.
”Fun and dangerous.”
”The best kind of fun is the dangerous kind.”
”Serra is right, my hero,” Nell says.
”Agreed,” Eva says.
”Never mind. What I meant to say is that the three of you are way too dangerous—and fun—together,” Fenrir says.
Of course, while he is calling them out for being dangerous, he is the one who almost runs The Shoebill onto the beach again because of how distracted he has been.
At least they're finally back at their growing settlement.