308 Vol. 5 pt. 16 (2/2)
”And what are you going to do for the promise? Serra is trying her best with the gun and Nell is going to play sky football. What are you going to do?”
”I – I don't know, but I'm not going to get new ears and a tail.”
”I know what you can do.”
”What? And it better not be weird.”
”Continue being perfect.”
Cassiel looks at him, looks away, looks back at him, looks away again, and twirls her hair around a couple of her fingers as her face cosplays a ripening tomato.
”You're… you're good today,” Cassiel admits before turning around to catch up with the other girls.
”Interesting,” Eva says.
”What? And I thought you were going to go with the others?” Fenrir asks.
”No. All I did was point out that he was waving for them to show he was ready.”
”Fair enough. Anyways, what's interesting?”
”You.”
”I'm flattered but not really sure how I'm interesting at all.”
”I think that's part of what makes you interesting. You don't even realize how interesting you are.”
”I… see?”
”Can I interview you?”
”I guess? It depends on what you want to ask about.”
”Are you rich?”
”Uh, are you talking in-game or real life? In either case, the answer is no.”
”Real life, and I see. Are you a drug dealer?”
”Wouldn't I be rich then?”
”You're right, that was a stupid question to follow up with. Are you a blackmailer?”
”I think I'd still be rich if I was.”
”Not everybody who is a blackmailer is rich. You could be blackmailing people for something other than money.”
”Like what?”
”Next question. Are you a celebrity?”
”Do you think I'd admit to it if it was true and wasn't already flaunting it?”
”That's a good point. How old are you?”
”Early twenties.”
”Hmm, so then you can't be the father.”
”The father of who?”
”I'm the one interrogating you right now.”
”When did this turn from an interview into an interrogation?”
”What are your goals in life?”
”I – I don't know. To be happy and have a family who I make happy, too?”
”I see. How large is your penis?”
Azalabulia, who is still standing by and has been talking to Rao for most of this time, turns red when she hears the latest question.
”That's classified,” Fenrir answers.
”Suspicious. Alright. Why are you dating your girlfriends?”
”Because I love them?”
”But you wouldn't have loved them at the beginning. What made you start? Why did you want to date them? What made you want to date multiple girls at once?”
”I… it just sort of happened, honestly. I met Serra and Cass at around the same time and developed feelings for both of them. I obviously didn't think at the time that I'd end up with both of them, but they were both fine with it and liked each other as well, and then we kind of just kept on growing our relationship from there. I never imagined myself having multiple girlfriends and would probably call you crazy if you told me I'd have even a single long-term girlfriend years ago, buit here I am.”
”I see. Interesting.”
”I really don't think I'm that interesting.”
”You are. There is obviously something about you that attracts women to you. I just don't know what it is yet.”
”I—”
”My bro is a good dude. That's what does it,” Rao says, smacking Fenrir on the back again. ”He does whatever needs done for them and even helped me out. My bro here taught me how to chill and be more normal around girls. He's just a good dude.”
For whatever reason, hearing that praise come from Rao makes Fenrir feel exceptionally complimented. ”Thanks, Rao,” he says.
”No prob, bro.”
”Hmm. I'll have to interview your girlfriends then,” Eva says.
”I don't mind you asking me some personal questions, but I'd honestly rather you not ask them too many. I know that we might talk about our personal lives and… some of the more intimate parts of them around others pretty easily, but we do like our privacy, and I don't want anybody trying to pry anything from them,” Fenrir tells her.
”Interesting, interesting,” Eva says with a smile. ”You just gave me some good information. Thanks.”
”How?”
”You're protective of them. Everything leads to you just being some normal, albeit lucky, guy who loves his girlfriends and protects them. I thought there'd be more to it than that, but normalcy when unexpected is still an interesting result.”
”What kind of result? What have you been trying to figure out?”
”Oh, I wanted to know how you have multiple girlfriends. That kind of thing is only really common among the rich and celebrities, so I was assuming that you were something like that.”
”Pfftt. Yeah, right. Me, a celebrity? The closest I've ever been to that is when I used to lead the—”
”Lead the? Lead the what? What did you used to lead? Who did you used to lead?”
”I used to lead potato chips into my mouth.”
”I see, I see. You have a secretive past that you're trying to hide from me, aren't you?”
Fenrir can't help but to make an obvious expression that tells her she's right.
”Hmm. That's alright. It just makes you even more interesting, and research is always fun,” Eva says.
”You know, it's kind of creepy when you tell somebody to their face that you're going to be researching them,” Fenrir tells her.
”But you're not telling me not to.”
”Alright. Don't research me.”
”What if I tell you about a way that would let you get your girlfriend dog ears and a tail?”
”Alright. Research me.”
”Bro, you're way too easy,” Rao says.
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”I-if – if you really want it that badly,” Azalabulia starts saying before mumbling off into incoherent words.
As much as Fenrir wants to tease Azalabulia by asking her who a good girl is and teasing her about being a dog for him, he knows that she wouldn't be able to handle that around others nearly as well as the rest of his girlfriends. So, fortunately for her, she gets spared the public embarrassment.
Instead, what she gets is a pat on the top of her head from Fenrir.
”Thanks, Azawaza,” Fenrir says. ”Let's finish looking around to see what else this place has got. It shouldn't be much longer before everybody is ready to head down to deal with those monsters. Maybe we'll be able to find some good food to charge up with.”
”Magic is always stronger on a full stomach,” Azalabulia says.
”You heard her,” he tells Eva. ”Are there any good food shops around here?”
”Hmm. Everybody around here does their own hunting and fishing for the most part, but there are a few stalls by the village center. This way,” Eva answers.
Eva leads Fenrir, Rao, and Azalabulia to the village's center. Meanwhile, Rock and Shogun are busy playing with a ball that they found – or rather, a ball that Shogun found. He saw a ball sitting in some sort of basket on a pole high up, flew up to get it, and then knocked it out of the basket so that he and Rock could play with it. Since then, the two have been thoroughly enjoying running all over while kicking it and booping it with their snoots.
”Here,” Eva says.
In front of the group is a stall full of… fruits and vegetables.
”I guess she's not playing right now,” Eva says. ”The lady who runs this stall grows all of this, but next to nobody actually wants to eat these, so they're free.”
”Why doesn't anybody want to eat them?” Fenrir asks.
”Because they're dragons. Have you ever heard of a vegetarian dragon? They want meat.”
”I guess that makes sense. So, this is the only place that's selling – giving away food?”
”Yeah. Like I said, most everybody does their own hunting or fishing and then they usually do their own cooking, too. Though, most of the dragons here just eat their food raw or roast it a bit over fire. You only really have busy food stalls during community events and celebrations.”
”So, if you don't do your own hunting and cooking around here, you're stuck eating these?” he asks, picking up one of the yellow, apple-like fruits.
”Yeah, basically.”
”You know what this is?”
”Try it.”
”The way that you tell me to try it instead of telling me what it is makes me suspicious.”
”Do it for science. You know how many things we discovered are edible just by trying to eat everything and seeing what would kill us or not?”
Before Fenrir has a chance to bite into the strange fruit, he hears a crunch from behind him.
Rao has already picked up one of the fruit himself and has now taken a bite out of it.
His face immediately twists into a sour expression with puckered lips, closed eyes, and he even starts jumping up and down a little bit.
”It's called a lemon apple. Texture like an apple with a taste probably ten times more sour than most lemons,” Eva explains. ”It's really good. You only need one of these to make a big batch of lemonade, and even then it would probably be too sour for most people.”
”What about that?” Fenrir asks, pointing at the seemingly-normal, red apple that Azalabulia is about to take a bite out of.
”A pepper apple,” Eva answers just as Azalabulia bites a piece off of it.
”Is it uh… going to be hot?”
”Yeah.”
It takes a few seconds to kick in but, when it does, Azalabulia's face turns red, her eyes start watering, and she starts jumping up and down a bit just like Rao but for a different reason as she feels like a fire has been lit within her mouth.
”I think the dragons around here don't eat these for more reasons than just because they don't want to be like vegetarians,” Fenrir says.
”They'd like these more if they'd just build up a tolerance,” Eva says, taking a bite out of one of the pepper apples. She has no reaction to it. ”They're good once you've got the tolerance developed. All you taste without the tolerance is heat, but they're actually pretty sweet once you do get used to it.”
”Why would anybody want to get used to it?”
”I don't know. Normal people would rather just not eat it in the first place, and those of us who love the heat are more disappointed if anything once we get used to it.”
”So, is there anything here that I could safely eat?”
”Yeah, that,” Eva answers, pointing at a suspiciously-phallic, pink fruit that looks like it can't tell whether it wants to be a banana or a mushroom. ”But it would involve looking like you're eating it.”
”So, in other words, it might be safe to eat as a normal person but wouldn't be safe to look like I'm eating it?”
”Basically.”
”That's alright. There's a simple solution to this.”
With that, Fenrir picks the fruit up, holds it in both of his hands, and then breaks it in half.
Even if he was the one doing it, both he and Rao could feel it upon seeing the strange fruit break.
At least it could be eaten in peace now without looking suspicious.
As for its taste, ”Kiwi?” Fenrir asks. ”And strawberry… this is a really weird taste, but it's good. I bet it'd make a great smoothie.”
”I know, right? Or maybe a pie. Or sliced up and put over ice cream. The scholars actually got some seeds for this and are trying to de-phallic how it looks with selective breeding. Then, we'll be able to trade more of them and get more cooks to cook with them which means more good food for everybody.”
”So, you scholars are basically just playing this game for sex and eating?”
”Well, most of them. We've made some really tasty discoveries. One of the perks of being in a game where we're all basically immortal is that we can eat anything we discover without having to worry about dying or getting super sick or anything.”
”It's better than killing yourself in a bunch of different ways at least.”
And so, while Rao and Azalabulia continue their breakdowns as a result of eating fruit that is too sour and too hot respectively, Fenrir and Eva enjoy their own choices.
Going by how many of the local dragons are walking around armored and prepared for battle now, he figures that they don't have much more time before they're going to have to go and fight.
It will be their first battle against the enemy that they have been preparing to defend against. While one would normally be nervous in such a situation, this is just a game and Fenrir is somebody who has always preferred a challenge in his games.
He feels nothing but excitement in getting to fight against a new enemy. Even if he were to die, he could just respawn and go back for revenge.
”I wonder if the monsters we're going to kill taste good. I mean, they are like giant fish from the bottom of the ocean, so maybe they can be cooked like fish,” Fenrir says.
Eva lights up and grabs Fenrir's hands to hold them between her own.
”Now you're thinking with science!” she happily announces. ”Who cares about killing them for honor or for alliances or anything like that when we can kill them to find out how they taste?”
”I mean, I care about those things, but I am curious about how they'll taste now. It's only natural to eat monsters in fantasy settings.”
”Right! Now I'm excited! Different types of monsters, so many different ways to prepare them – ah, I'm getting excited now,” Eva says.
And when she says that she's getting excited, she means excited.