189 Vol. 3 pt. 59 Patch 10.0: A Growing Crew (2/2)

There's also the fact that he just can't return Nyaiko's feelings. Maybe he could sometime in the future, but at this moment, Nyaiko loves him far more than he likes her.

His girlfriends come first. First, Nell has barely gotten to do anything that she really wanted to do with him since they've had no privacy despite her flying over to stay with him. Now, he knows just how uncomfortable Cassiel has been lately and still is.

All he ever hoped for with reuniting with Nyaiko was to learn how she's been doing – to know that she's been alright. She was his friend. Is his friend.

Nothing more.

”Nya… I… I'm—” Nyaiko's eyes go blank for a few seconds before being filled with the life of the overseer.

”Wake me, Saya.”

Ryouta blinks his eyes open and sees his ceiling fan up above. Serra and Alice are lying on the bed next to him while Cassandra sits in his computer chair, all of them still immersed in-game with their virtual reality headbands on.

Only one person is missing: Aiko.

Though, it doesn't take long for him to find her.

She's got an open suitcase and she's shoving her clothes into it, tears running from her eyes.

”Aiko,” Ryouta says.

Aiko looks up at him and chokes. ”You're different now, Ryouta,” she says. ”You're a lot cooler and more honest now.”

”I'm sorry for saying all of that in front of everybody. I should have waited until we had some alone time, but I just – I needed to say something.”

”It's okay, Ryouta. I – I know what you mean. And… I know that I've been way too obsessive and it's just… I think I need to go back.”

”Go back?”

Aiko sighs and tugs down her pants.

Her thighs are covered in scars. Some of the cuts look new as there is dried blood on her skin.

”Back to the umm… place I was at before I met Serra. My parents made me go, but I got out. I think – I think I need to stay there more,” Aiko explains.

”Wait, isn't this really sudden?” Ryouta asks.

”You rejecting me in front of everybody wasn't?”

”I'm sorry. I shouldn't have.”

Aiko shakes her head. ”It's okay. I knew you weren't serious about me the way that I think I'm serious about you.”

”That you think you are?”

”Yeah… I – I don't know if I really love you, or if I just think I love you because I want to use that to feel something. I'm just using you right now, and that's not fair and it's not something I think somebody would do if they really loved the person.”

Ryouta didn't know that Aiko had this sort of serious side to her.

”And I don't like what I'm doing. I hate myself for doing it,” Aiko says.

”Doing what?” Ryouta asks.

”Competing with your girlfriends for you. I know they're the ones you're dating, and I know I shouldn't be jealous, but I really, really am no matter how hard I try not to be. You probably noticed how upset she looked, right?”

”Cass?”

”Yeah.”

”Yeah. I noticed.”

”I… I've been aware, and I've been enjoying making her feel that way. Even Serra. I don't even want to share you with Serra. So, I think… I think that even if I did actually date you with them, I wouldn't be able to handle it before doing something bad.”

”And this is all because I rejected you in front of them?”

”No, Ryouta. I've… been feeling this way ever since I saw you again, but I guess you just made me realize nothing is going to happen. Even if it did, it shouldn't. And… the more time I spent around you, the more I've learned you're not the Ryouta I knew anymore. You're different now. I like who you are, but, it's just… I have to learn to love the new you instead of clinging to the old you.”

This all feels way too sudden and random for Ryouta, but he knows that he needs to hug Aiko right now. Her face, her tears, her quivering body – she needs a hug.

But she refuses to let him hug her when he tries getting close.

”Please, don't. If you do then I might change my mind,” Aiko says. ”I still want to be friends with you and everybody, but I need help first. I can't stop being crazy and telling myself I don't need it when I cut myself almost every single night and only know how to live for others. Seeing you and everybody else… even that annoying perverted guy, you all know how to live your own lives and how to be happy on your own. I don't know how to do that.”

Ryouta sighs and sits back down on the foot of his bed. ”It's respectable that you're doing this. It really is. You should be proud of yourself,” he says.

”I… I think I am proud of myself, for once.”

Aiko finishes packing her things. ”I'll be back sometime after I'm done with everything. You guys have got my number in case there's ever any like super emergency or anything.”

”Right back at you. Be safe, alright?” Ryouta says, unsure of what else to possibly say in such an unexpected situation.

”Mhm. Bye bye, Ry-ou-ta.”