174 Vol. 3 pt. 44 Patch 8.0: The Temple in the Fores (2/2)
”You should probably start with not calling girls thirsty,” Fenrir explains.
”Why?” Rao asks.
Fenrir sighs and rubs his forehead. He doesn't exactly like this new guy, but he feels as if it's his responsibility as a human being to teach this stranger how to be decent so that nobody else has to deal with him.
”I'll teach you,” Fenrir says, ”how to talk like a normal person, I guess.”
”Oh, bro, I just need you to teach me how to pick up girls like you can,” Rao says.
”Think of it as starting with the basics.”
Rao rubs his chin and thinks about it for a few seconds. ”Hmm. Alright, bro. I trust you!”
”Please don't tell me this guy is going to be sticking around,” Cassiel whispers to Fenrir.
”I kind of feel really bad for him, and I don't want anybody else to have to suffer,” Fenrir whispers back.
”Can't we just kill him?”
”We could stick him on a rowboat if we ever need to.”
The serpent's eyes widen ever so slightly.
”Haah? What's that supposed to mean?” Cassiel asks.
”Hey, what're you two whispering about?” Rao asks, leaning forward so that he can try to hear them.
”Don't worry about it. Anyways, let's go over some rules if you're going to be learning from me,” Fenrir says.
Cassiel sighs and rubs her palm against her face.
”Don't disrespect anybody, whether they're guys or girls, unless they're dicks worthy of being disrespected,” Fenrir says.
”So, only be bad to bad people? Got it!” Rao confirms.
”Don't flirt with anybody from our crew.”
”They're all taken, too short, or guys anyways, so alright.”
”Neuter Shogun.”
”He deserves it for surpassing me, so got it.”
Cassiel smacks Fenrir on the back of his head.
”Alright, you don't have to neuter him,” Fenrir says.
”I still should. I'm jealous that he got ahead of m—” Rao gets cut off by Cassiel slamming the hilt of her sword into his gut. ”Al-alright, I won't neuter him.”
”Let them have their romance,” Cassiel says, looking over at the play session and mentally aww'ing.
”And finally, uhh…” Fenrir tries to think of some other rule to tack on. Rao is going to be an annoyance to everybody on the crew, so he's got to think of something to make them dealing with him worth it. Then it hits him. ”You have to do anything that anybody in the crew tells you to do since you'll probably be staying with us. Consider that your payment for me giving you lessons.”
”Sounds good to me! That's a pretty fair price to pay if it means getting taught how to get my own harem of beauties,” Rao says, nodding his head.
”Also, what can you do?”
”What do you mean, bro?”
”Like, what can you do? Fight? Craft? Anything?”
”Gotcha. You could say I'm kind of a builder, I guess. I started playing this game so that I could get a harem of beauties, and I figured I should build myself the ultimate pad to bring girls back to for more success, so I guess you could say I've just been gathering things to build and decorate my pad with. I'm an architect in real life, so I love that sort of stuff.”
Fenrir feels hurt. As lame and annoying as this guy is, he's actually got a career and is probably much more successful than him in real life.
At least Fenrir is the one with some girlfriends.
Fenrir gets an idea. If this man is an architect and used to gathering and building things in-game, then he might prove to be extremely useful in the future when Fenrir finds a spot for his grand plan.
”Then, if you agree to everything, I hereby invite you to become a member of The Soaring Wolves aboard The Shoebill. You do what we want you to do, and we'll provide you with a place to stay on the water and I'll teach you how to… be a normal person,” Fenrir says, holding a hand out for a shake.
Rao lights up like an excited child and wastes no time taking Fenrir's hand into his own, excitedly shaking it up and down. ”You're the best! We're going to be best bros for life! I'll even invite you to all my weddings, and you can be my best man!” Rao almost cries from how happy he is.
Cassiel can't help but cringe at the lonely, pathetic excuse for a man and the fact that her boyfriend is seriously going to be helping him out.
”When's the first lesson?” Rao asks.
”Right now. Cass Cass here saw something she wanted in the forest, so we're going to help her go and get it. We're not going to do it because we want to get into her pants, either. We're going to do it because we genuinely want to help her for nothing in return, just to be good people,” Fenrir explains.
”So… you're saying I need to do nice things and not actually expect to get anything back?” Rao asks.
”Yes.”
Rao looks disappointed.
”You might get a harem this way,” Fenrir says.
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Rao cheers up.