63 Vol 1. Epilogue | Non-Canon : The True Talk Show (1/2)
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The audience claps.
”And now for our hosts… Rock and Oleander!” the announcer's booming voice introduces the trap and the dog, stage lights shining down on them.
”Hello, hello! Welcome to The True Talk Show!” Oleander greets everybody with a wink. His costume looks like something of a mix between a tuxedo and a frilly dress.
Rock barks and lifts one of her paws to ”wave.”
”Let's jump right into it, shall we?” he looks down at Rock whom replies with an approving bark. ”Introducing our first guest, Fenrir!”
The curtains peel back to show Fenrir sitting behind a booth. He's trying his best to look calm and confident but starts blushing the moment the spotlights shine on him.
”Fenny! The audience is just dying to know, what's up with your legs? We get so many questions asking about them!” Oleander asks.
”Oh, that? Well, in real life, I—” Fenrir starts answering.
The camera switches over to Rock playing with a cannonball by rolling it around the stage and growling at it just loudly enough to drown out Fenrir's response.
”Huh, I see. I wonder how the audience is going to react when they figure that out! So, which of the girls is your favorite so far?” Oleander asks.
”Rock.”
”So quick! What makes Rock better than Serra and Cass?”
”Rock is a cute puppy. Everybody knows dogs are better than girls.”
”What about better than cute boys who totally make you question your sexuality?”
”Yeah, dogs are pretty much just better than everything and everybody.”
Rock runs to Fenrir, jumps over his booth, and crashes into him out of a show of appreciation for her master!
Oleander doesn't look nearly as excited about his answer, instead crossing his arms and pouting. ”Just don't let our next two guests hear you say that!”
Fenrir's face turns gloomy as he gets back up. ”Are they… here?”
The screen hanging above the center of the stage reveals Serra and Cassiel sitting on a couch behind stage looking very displeased.
”I – I mean… in terms of dog standards, Rock is definitely the best girl there is,” Fenrir tries correcting himself, but it doesn't work.
”What if Serra and Cass wear dog ears and a collar for you? Look, our viewers have sent in some kind fanart to illustrate what I mean!” Oleander announces. The screen switches away from Cassiel and Serra to show pictures of them both with floppy dog ears and collars around their necks.
The camera pans back to a blushing Fenrir and a growling Rock.
”What'd'ya think? Eh? Ehhhh?” Oleander questions.
”…can you send me those pictures after this is over?” Fenrir asks.
”Wow! No shame showed by our first guest! I wonder how the two ladies backstage are reacting to this!”
The screen switches back to the girls. Serra is sitting with her face hidden in her hands, but it looks like her blush is shining right through her hands! As for Cassiel—
”Wait, Cass, where'd you get that sword at? There's no weapons allowed in the studio!”
There is no audio feed to hear what Cassiel is shouting, but she's definitely shouting something.
The camera refocuses on Oleander. ”Alright, now then! I have another question for you, Fenny. It is one that many of our viewers are curious about. Are you a furry?”
Fenrir immediately raises his arms in an X shape in front of him. ”Why does everybody think I'm a furry just because I have wolf ears and a wolf tail?! Hasn't anybody ever heard of inumimis?! Are nekomimis furries? No! And an inumimi is just a dog version of a nekomimi!”
”I think you're going to start losing our audience if you bring up a bunch of your Japanese terms. Don't forget that most of our audience isn't as hardcore of a fan of anime as you are.”
”But it's important! Look!” Fenrir picks up a pen on his booth to draw on his screen. The stage's screen switches to show what he's drawing.
On the left is a regular girl. In the middle is a girl with dog ears and a dog tail. On the right is a girl covered in fur with an elongated snout, ears, and tail. Above the left girl, it says ”human,” above the middle says ”inumimi (me),” and above the right says ”furry.”
”So, in other words, you're halfway to being a furry?” Oleander asks with a teasing smile on his face.
”There's a difference! I have no interest in being a furry! I mean, I don't have any problems with furries, I just really like anime!”
”So, how come you didn't just make a cute catgirl or something if you're so obsessed?”
”Because there is a great imbalance between stuff like catgirls and catboys, or in my case, dog girls and dog boys. You know what? Now that we're on the topic, there's a huge imbalance between cats and dogs in general. Why are there so many catgirls in anime? Where are all the other kinds of girls? There are some foxgirls every now and then which I appreciate, but where are all the dog girls at?!” Fenrir looks directly into the camera. ”Oi! Artists and anime studios and other people with more artistic talent than myself! Draw more dog girls, and more animal guys in general, but mainly more dog girls! And draw them in sweaters! I want to see more dog girls wearing sweaters, especially ones that are too big for them and starting to slip off to show just a bit of skin!”
”Fenny, this is a talk show, not a platform for you to beg for more fap material.”