Chapter 373 - The Derpy Dwarf (1/2)

Chapter 373: The Derpy Dwarf

Translator: Nyoi-Bo Studio Editor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

“Look, there’s light ahead,” dwarf Riel called. He sped forward.

He was so excited after being in this mine hole for two hours. If news of him getting lost in a dwarf mine hole traveled back to Moria, the dwarven capital city, he would be so humiliated.

Yes, he must tell Master Link and Milda to keep this a secret.

Link immediately cast a traceless spell and said, “Don’t run out when we get to the exit. We need to see where we are.”

“No problem,” Riel replied. He gained momentum as he ran and quickly passed the corner.

Milda couldn’t help but shake her head and chuckle. “This guy is so funny. He’s so old but still acts like a kid.”

Riel had been serious, but after they became more familiar with each other, he began relaxing and showing his derpy side.

Link didn’t find his personality strange. In the game, he’d met too many funny dwarves. If you stayed in a dwarf’s inn, you’d see many interesting things. For example, a dwarf once lit his beard with his pipe and poured hard liquor on it. His entire body had lit on fire.

A dwarf had run under a dragon’s stomach to research the dragon’s gender. Another dwarf used a magic gun to hit at a fly on food and ended up smashing all the food on the table. There were many similarly shocking cases.

Anyway, one had to be prepared for all types of situations when with a dwarf…

Dammit, I jinxed myself!

Just as Link was about to speak, there was a cry from outside the tunnel. It was a tragic cry and made one’s guts clench, involuntarily close one’s legs, and cover one’s crotch.

Just as Link and Milda exchanged a glance, not sure what happened, Riel scampered back. As he ran, he called, “Oh no, ack—there’s a demon outside, and he saw me.”

When the guy ran over, Link saw that his head was covered in black mud. There was also a disgusting smell that made him nauseous.

“What exactly happened?” Milda covered her nose and cast a cleaning spell to get rid of the “mud” on Riel’s head.

As Rield walked deeper inside the tunnel, he said, “The tunnel opens up skyward. When I went there, a Fodor Flaming Demon was taking a dump. I think he ate some bad food. That guy was like a spray gun. I wasn’t paying attention, and it got all over me. I even swallowed some…I was so pissed! I slammed my hammer on his ass. I’m sure he’s injured now, but more demons will run after us later. Let’s run…ugh….ack…it’s so disgusting!”

“Ugh!” Milda ran with Riel. She just wanted to throw up.

Link’s throat felt uncomfortable hearing this too. Pushing down his urge to vomit, he asked, “Demon feces are poisonous. How are you feeling now?”

“Ah, poisonous? No wonder my stomach hurts now…Ah!” Riel missed a step and tripped. He fell down and couldn’t climb back up. His face was black as if he was heavily poisoned.

Link hurried over to help him. Milda continued holding her nose. She pulled out a bottle of Elf Nectar and gave it to Link from afar. “Here, feed it to him.”

Pulling out the stop, Link poured the green liquid into Riel’s mouth. As expected of the sacred antidote, Riel started vomiting violently after drinking it. Mouthfuls of stinking black liquid spewed from his mouth. After throwing up three mouthfuls, he was finally clean.

Riel was a Level-7 Warrior and was very strong. He wasn’t poisoned deeply and had the antidote promptly, so he recovered after resting for half a minute.

He shook his head and took out a bottle of liquor. Rinsing his mouth, he put the liquor away and breathed deeply. “Thank you, Your Highness,” he said to Milda. “Those demons are so f*cking disgusting.”

“Enough, let’s go now!” Milda had had enough. She’d thought this dwarf was like a kid, but now, she thought he was an insufferable bastard.

Seeing that Milda was upset, Riel shrugged. “I’m the one who drank it, and I’m not complaining. What are you angry about…alright, I’ll stop talking. Let’s go. I saw many demons patrolling outside. They seem to know our plan.”

He led them deeper into the mine hole. Link, Milda, and Nana followed.

As they ran, Nana asked curiously, “Riel, what does demon poop taste like?”

“Nana!” Milda yelped. She was going to have a breakdown.

“Nana, stop talking,” Link commanded.

“Oh.” Nana didn’t say anything else.

Riel didn’t know what it tasted like. He ran powerfully without speaking. Dwarves had a weird and funny personality, but they were naturally sensitive to cave tunnels. He memorized it all after one trip.