C10 (1/2)
An Shengmei suddenly had a very bad feeling. Some people were chasing in front, some were standing far away, trying their best to extend their hands to the people behind them, while some people stood behind and silently watched the two figures. They were silent, but gave the most appropriate consolation at the right time.
”I know, I will do my best to maintain my heart.” Since he was wrong, he should take responsibility for the whole thing. Back then, he had asked a stranger to join him, but now, he knew that the stranger liked him. An Shengmei thought about it for a long time before she made a decision.
Seeing that Gu Qingyan had something new to say, he said: ”I will never be him.”
That's right, Gu Qingyan would never be Tan Yizhe, Gu Qingyan was just a boy who didn't want to say anything and put everything in his heart, and would only be sad if he was the only one who silently licked his wounds. Tan Yizhe, on the other hand, always carried a halo of light on his own.
When An Shengmei started to seriously and rationally think about all this, she suddenly felt that something was amiss. Her initially innocent and straightforward mood, her previously ignorant and passionate feelings, suddenly felt like something was amiss. For the first time, An Shengmei began to doubt herself, suspecting that feeling.
No matter what, An Shengmei had already decided to take Gu Qingyan seriously, and he hadn't done anything wrong. She just liked him, that's all.
When he was with Gu Qingyan, An Shengmei would often laugh, but An Shengmei didn't want to bring his own sorrowful feelings to him. Gu Qingyan always said that An Shengmei was stupid, that she could even fall if she walked down the stairs. She could even get lost in a small town that had lived for so long without a sense of time and space. He also said that An Shengmei was very cute, like a stupid pig. An Shengmei didn't like him calling her stupid pig, she could call her stupid cat if she wanted her to.
He said that the curtains in his room were black, and he liked black. One time, when An Shengmei saw that he was wearing a white short-sleeved shirt, she told him that he looked really good in white, and from then on, he only wore white clothes.
When he was with Gu Qingyan, it was usually An Shengmei who spoke, but would occasionally interrupt him. Fortunately, An Shengmei's personality was very outgoing, otherwise, she wouldn't be able to find a topic to talk about. Her expression did not change even when she mentioned Tan Yizhe. It was only later that he wrote in the Student Record: ”Can I give you a small suggestion, which is if you don't bring up the matter between Tan Yizhe and you in front of me? Sometimes, people who don't have anything will feel very sad listening to it.”
The thing that impressed An Shengmei the most was that he wrote a lot of words ”Love you” on the last page — — there was a small line of words at the top ”Remember how much you like listening — Say it to the sky”, and then, the bottom of the page was filled with the words ”Love you”, forming a huge ”Love you”. An Shengmei was shocked just thinking about it, how much perseverance did it take to write the two pages that were filled with ”Love you”!
An Shengmei and Gu Qingyan would go to the Internet Cafe to play after vacation. Before school, they would change their homework at the Internet Cafe and Gu Qingyan would help An Shengmei with math while An Shengmei helped him with Chinese.
The two of them would take a ride of half the distance and get off the car to walk to the school. They would walk along an unknown path and jokingly say that he was abducting a girl from a good family …
An Shengmei could only treat Gu Qingyan as a good friend and could not give him any more. Actually, there were quite a lot of memories between An Shengmei and herself, but because his introspection and silence gave An Shengmei a lot of freedom, An Shengmei's heart could not help but think of those memories. An Shengmei did not manage to keep her own heart.
Tan Yizhe continuously abused himself, and continuously tortured himself to torture An Shengmei. Once, he actually threatened An Shengmei with a car accident, causing him to become so angry that he did not speak anymore, ”Then go!”
Although Tan Yizhe still did not go and crash the car in the end, An Shengmei could not let him go. This was because sometimes An Shengmei would think that it was true love that could be gained with death.