Chapter 41 (1/2)

XLI Unconcluded

Everything is blurry as the alcohol kicks in The candlelight becomes a reddish haze

He throwsI sink into the Yu piles on top ofto hold in lare at him—he had obviously planned all of this, the feast, the dancers, the exquisite wine, the woods and finally this small tent

His lips are tightly pursed, appearing a bit frustrated My clothes are getting ht, he pulls on both side to outright rip it apart

“No!” I yelp “What do you want me to wear if you rip it?!”

He leans in “No one told you to wear sofor it!”

My clothes are ripped as we trade retorts The outer robe, the inner layers and then the pants are all yanked off and cast aside I shi+ver from the direct contact with cold air He presses hiry stores itself in between htly and sometimes hard

“Murong Yu, you’re just like a sick pervert”

He laughs, a husky sound e from his throat “Not ‘like’ I am”

“Xin, I just wanna tear you apart and eat you up, not leaving a morsel behind I’ll hide you in my heart, bury you in my stomach and after you spoil and dissolve, you’ll be with me forever I really want to…haha What say you?”

He holdssquished into pieces by theebeco over me like a mountain I circle my arms around his neck and do ue kiss

A kiss, a deep one, a kiss that suffocates us, burning away all rationale and bringing only a storues dance and our lips play together Our tongue tips hook onto one another and gyrate in each other’s o

I can’t lie to

I struggle to openYu’s eyes seem to be shrouded by a thin translucent layer of e of sorrowlust can hide

A pang of anguish hitseven my kiss

He and I both knohat this rendezvous tonight means

His hand reaches down, pressing h ainst my stomach I look up into his eyes and all I can see is lust and desire

Before I can react, his ly

He’sslower than ever before as if to purposefully extend our love The pain makes beads of sweat for aler and hotter than usual

I can’t help but let out a hoarse weeping sound It hurts It hurts soI feel a burning sensation intorn apart

The pain is a dose of s joy in this moment

Perhaps because the pain in the heart will lessen if the body is in pain?

I hold onto his ar my nails into his skin He’s buried insidehis hips without a pause I clenchtoodown

I will take whatever he has to giveman who cannot control himself in the face of his own lust and desire

It doesn’tas I’m with him

He starts putting more power into his ue to play with my chest Unable to bear it, I pant nonstop andwith him Satisfied, he smirks and plants kisses on hts a fire

Every time he reaches the innermost spot withinpleasure That spot continues to get stis spas back to life I can’t help but cry, “Ple…please…go slower…ah!”

“I don’t care, Xin I just wanna make you mine”

As hisin and out ofYu suddenly presses hinaw on my neck

I gritpain out from deep within, but once my mouth opens what comes out in stutters is, “Harder, Yu…I want you…more…”

He latches ontobreaths hit onna screw you so hard that your knees buckle”

He says as he ai a rush of euphoria andonto him and bite down on his shoulder

He grunts as he pushes his groins down I try o in deeper even if it means more pain for me

I want him I can’t even help myself

He hasn’t relaxed for a single mo released now I rub h ony but also tenderness

I think tears are rolling out of my eyes I can’t help but sob with my face in his chest and listen to his quick heartbeat

The next moment will be the end of the road

He knows that this is the last tiht?

This iht?

The body on top of me is flexible and hot with the te hot, searing lued together once again, sucking with the lips, playing with the tongue and biting with the teeth Soon, I taste rust

The blood le I’m not sure if it’s mine or his

The ecstasy of being consumed by fire is also the ultimate pain

In this moment, there is no state, there is no land, and there is no war There are only tender lips, entangled bodies and complete intimacy

We’re so close that we’ve melted into one, as if ere born this way

I haven’t th seeps out ofEverything inYu’s complexion is unusually blurry

Our eyes meet and neither of us bears to leave

We are able to have this night tonight but perhaps we’ll be on separate ends of this world tomorrow

The tears are about to escape their confines He pulls a bitter s tears “What’re you crying for? Is it because I was so good that you can’t handle it?”

I don’t knohether to laugh or cry some more so I just scold him, “You bastard asshole!”

“You just never say what I wanna hear” He hasn’t pulled out yet and rocks his hips spitefully I gasp for air as a burning pain spreads through me

He studies e and our lips are al

In that instant, the anguish co down and buries me

I start to pound on his broad shoulders “Why did I have to ood’s ever happened to et beat up by you or topped by you–”

The riether He seals his lips on mine and stuffs all my complaints back into my mouth

My h the da and clinging onto the only piece of wood

“As if anything good has ever happened toyou I fall in love with this punk for sooes and turns into the emperor of the other country”

I stay nested in his e onto his shoulders feebly

“If only… If I died beforeyou, it wouldn’t hurt this bad now”

He ihtens his arms around me without a sound

“You think I have it easy?” He closes his eyes and sighs The sorrow in his voice is painfully obvious “If I hadn’t let you go and ,” he pauses, “it wouldn’t be like this now”

“You!”

“Then you’d legitimately be mine and I wouldn’t have to be sneaky just to see you and sleep with you”

He ducks down and plants a kiss on h I take the tiht, not wanting to be apart from him even a fraction of an inch

Our eyes connect and even time see to upset the beauty of this moment

“Yu,” I whisper in a cracked voice, “I love you”

He cracks a sers interlock “I love you, too”

I struggle to liftpast the riether before kissing his lips There are the remnants of my own tears and the bitterness of it

And it reaches my heart

Our asp for air as the points of connection seereedily like I can never get enough

The fires of lust see his voice even huskier “Let’s go again, and again and again”

I don’t kno much time has passed I don’t kno many positions we’ve been in or how many times he’s taken me Every part of me, inside and out, has lain wide open for hi positions But even so, our love more and more intense

My groin hurts solike a forest fire on a dry summer day I don’t kno many tie of insanity

Our bodies join and threaten to ain, never to be on different ends of the world

“Ah… Ah! Yu…”

“Uh, uhn…bear with me…”

“Go harder…Yu…I…Ah!”

I want his touch I want his kiss I want to be intiht next to hiled with hi separating us I want to be with his and no trouble will be between us

Under wave after wave of pleasure, I can’t think of anything else or stand fir else Who cares about the state or the land? Who cares about status? Who cares about the social norm? Who cares about war and retribution? They can just… They can all just go to hell

I blink openwith a soft wool blanket onbeside me with his arm around my shoulders, deep in sleep

He’s just sleeping there Those brows that usually look strong and the lips that are usually pressed tightly together areto touch his brows but his eyes snap open Shocked, my hand falls on his neck He flips over and pushes me under him

Ripples of desire are apparent in his eyes I ask quietly, “You can’t be thinking of going again”

He chuckles, “Why not?”

Only the sound of our breathing can be heard in the tent I hug his neck and stay motionless A while later, he reaches out and pushes away the loose strands of hair that are wet from sweat

“Why so reckless?” Even though I know his answer, I still want to ask

He doesn’t look at me but instead at the top of the tent “Why ask e both know the answer to that?”

I feel ether before he even finishes

The affair between two enized

The darkest of nights are the only times that we can meet

He doesn’t speak and just regards the ceiling Only after a long, very long ti wet in his eyes

“Honestly, Murong Yu, if you knew it’d be like this today, would you have done what you did? Not killing o?”

In the silence, I catch the tears glistening in his eyes

I touch his face with shaking hands but he grabs it

“What about you? If you knew it’d be like this today, would you have saved et the throne?”

I laugh, tasting the bitter tang that seems to spread from my heart to my mouth Finally, I reply steadily, “I would”

He caresses my cheek “As would I”

If time were to turn back on itself and let us return to the moment we first met, let us have another chance to choose, I would still take the throne and he would still lay siege to my city without a doubt

Our present was chosen by us We can’t blame anyone else

I observe the face mere inches away from my own His eyes, his hair, his lips; I love every part of him

He plants a kiss on ers ondespair

This love has always been doo that it’s perpetual doom, that it’s infinite destruction, the moths still throw themselves into the fire until they meet their very deaths

If only we could have met in some other way

He lowers his head, closing his eyes, and touches his nose with esvoice “You’d lose consciousness in an instant if I struck right here”

I stop dead in oes on casually with ayou away aht shouldn’t be too hard”

I shudder and even my breath seems to have stopped I watch hi, “Do you believe me, Xin?”

I feel the chills “You…”

He laughs and takes me into his arms “I could do it It all depends on whether I want to or not”

I holdmy hand away from his neck “You wouldn’t initiate another war You’re not that kind of person”

He lets out a long sigh “There once was an emperor in Yan who unleashed his wrath for a beauty and destroyed two sdo, I burst out laughing, but when I think about it now, he got what he wanted by doing that He was a happier man than me”

I pull a bitter smile “What do you want me to do after you take me away? You’re the emperor and I can only be the…” The word concubinus reaches the tip of ue but I stuff it back down “You really think I’d just let you do what you ith me? And hoould I face Xiao–”

His eyes flash dangerously and he covers ht now” My vision has gone fuzzy I clench my jaw and restand the quietude is al froly and so tenderly

I think toan e children to continue the royal lineage, these are things neither of us can escape from

Murong Yu’s hand wanders up to my neck and picks up the white nephrite He observes it for a while before cracking a grin “Very good, you still have it on you” I sht pops up in my head

“Let go of ,” I instruct quietly

“What?”

I push his ar and just as I try to move, a dull pain creeps up s I shoot a dirty look at the culprit and struggle as I crawl out, spread the lu

“What is it you’re looking for?” He props his head up and looks over “Just wait ‘til daybreak if it’s nothing urgent”

Slowly, I crawl back into his embrace and he yanks the blanket over to co his neck “Don’taround his neck and carefully tie a knot