Chapter 19 (2/2)
Uncle has been going to the palace even more frequently and he’s so stressed out that he has cold sores growing on his lips The only things on the city streets are luxurious carriages speeding through, leaving the capital through Xuan Ping Gates on the southern end, and cavalryh Great Rui doesn’t have a great in with so our cavalry is not even worth
Life is very dull in the mansion and itthe idea up with Uncle about ht away
“Why not? I can’t just stay here and sponge off of you”
“You have already sponged off ofall of a sudden?”
“I just want to do my job as a Guardian” Actually, what I want to say is that at least then I would have so to do and someone to talk and joke with at work
“I don’t think so I say you just want to go out and fool around” Uncle vetoes me nonchalantly, not one bit moved
I grumble “Okay, let’s say I really did wanna do that It’s still better than staying cooped up here all day You know I’onna die of boredom”
“Your days of being cooped up has only just started with a whole lot lances at me emotionlessly I wail in myme into it! I haven’t even hit forty yet’
Suddenly he closes his eyes, closing the book in his hands, and points to the seat beside him “We haven’t sat down for a talk for a while now, nephew Sit”
My first reaction is: This is weird This is really weird—really, really weird Thus I sit down tentatively while glancing nervously at the door I sit on the edge of the chair, ready to shoot out the door any minute
Uncle clears his throat and my stomach twists up in a knot: he started like this, too, when he told me that he enlisted me in the army I stare at his mouth and beard His mouth opens and I recite in my head: ‘calm down, calm down, calm down’
“Han Xin, how old are you?”
“Um, twenty”
“Do you have any thoughts about your life? Say,” he taps the table lightly “A position in the court, or your future?”
I letwith a sood for me, Uncle”
Psh, as if I’d let hiet the hell out of here I won’t need a pass to leave the city noay H? Clothes, and some cash, and the xiao, and the pendant and…
“Are you daydreaain?” Uncle interrupts my plan
I focus and put on an oblivious face “No, no It just kind of took me by surprise What you asked”
He sighs “I’m constantly busy ork and never paid much attention to you I just realised today that you are already twenty I have to make some plans for your future”
“If I may ask, what do you want me to do?”
“Tell me yourself What do you want to do?”
What do I want to do? Establish my own empire? Hold ultimate power? Or fame and wealth? I conte at e expression, kind of like a smile but not quite
I say after re silent “Would you believe me if I said I have no interest in fame and money?”
“I wouldn’t” His face darkens
I smile for some reason “But you’re not me, Uncle, so how could you knohat I think?”
He smiles too “I’ve seen row up Of course I know”
I meet his eyes bravely without a hint of apprehension, all to identify what he’s really trying to say I don’t aspire to bepolitical battles
“Your eyes, they’re like your mother’s” He looks away as he murmurs I snap to attention This is the first time Uncle has ever mentioned my mother “She left you in my care You haven’t amounted to much, but we are still related by blood-”
“Uncle, stop please!” I interrupt and stand up, unable to keep listening
“I appreciate your concern, Uncle, but,” I glare at him “I’d rather hold my own life in my own hands, and not let someone else control it!”
He looks somewhere else and the smile on his face disappears I stride out the door and he suddenly gets up, yelling, “Give up that thought, Han Xin! You will never escape your fate!”
I stop, turn and look into Uncle’s stone-cold eyes It’s dead silent in the roo and it feels like the world is caving in onme
“Master” The butler rushes into the study, faltering when he sees me, and reports that Minister Xie and the Protector of the Seas are here to visit and are waiting in the front lobby I don’t make another sound and leave
Taking a turn in the gallery, I spot Xie Yun and Heng Ziyu couidance As I pivot out of the way, Xie Yun givesZiyu, I hear hiain, Guardian”
I leave as though I haven’t heard him
Master Liao has co, but I’lad to see him
In the late evening, he drags ht back some wine fro and turning around on
After listening to hs at me “But you’re here now, aren’t you?”
I take a sip “You’re here, too Everyone’s trying to get out but no, you just had to coht?”
He keeps a nonchalant face “How could I leave when there’s someone I need to protect?”
I freeze,an ‘O,’ the wine cupat hi a well-formed sentence out “N-no way!”
Master Liao keeps drinking his wine as if I only said soot today’ He peers at me out of the corner of his eye “Why, I can’t say that?”
His eyes dih so on his uesstihter did you fall in love with, Master? Who is she married to now?”
He glares atwater on hioes on in that head of yours?”
I flash an innocent look “But all the storytellers in the city say so” I lethis reaction “Once upon a time, you were a handsome and well-mannered student but you were a cohter You fell in love at the temple and met in private Your love multiplied by the day But one day, her father discovered your love Enraged, he separated Juliet froh-ranking official Reluctantly, you said your goodbyes and then you becaain one day And now the capital’s in danger so you’re staying to protect her”
Master Liao takes a swing just as I finish ht, wasn’t I? You were trying to silence me”
“You lil’ punk, you should go tell stories on the streets” His face has gone back to norht
“But,” I add “I re Do you not have a wife?”
He shakes his head and we fall quiet again I take tiny sips ofwhat to say
I kind of feel like Master Liao is shouldering so very heavy His eyes are always dark and obscure A chilly air exudes from him even when he’s under the sun He’s a learned scholar, but at the same time he’s also a talented martial artist Sometimes I wonder what his story must be like
Noticingthe fan that slides out, and raps lare at him He smiles a little but his eyes are cold and eht it all the way fro red wine”
I take a big whiff It smells aromatic and sweet and it tastes fresh and bitter-sweet The strange thing is that it’sit but I feel like I’ve drunk or smelled it before “I like it It has a…a…”
“A faht?”
I gape at him “How did you know that?”
He closes his fan and pulls a s”
“Hmmph” I dismiss
“As your teacher, I advise you to not let your thoughts show through your face You er look the same Always keep the sauess what you’re thinking”
I’onna work in the court What do I need a poker face for?”
He sighs after studying es the subject “Do you have someone you like?”
Master Liao’s fan is called Notos, for the autumn wind, and is an excellent—no—superb—no—exceptional fan It seems like a normal fan but it’s the deadliest weapon that he keeps on hist other things are all hidden in it, co a stylish prop and a defensive weapon into one
“Uhh, yeah I guess” I realise almost as soon as I say the words that I shouldn’t have and I cover my mouth When I look at him, he looks sort of stunned but he recovers “‘Once a teacher, always a father,’ and you can say anything to your father”
I shake es “Sodeal?”
I lowerfor so into my heart
Like—do I like him? Maybe I do, or else I wouldn’t have let it slip just now But there’s nothing I can do no matter howcountries, our gender—what future could we have?
An ie of him surfaces before my eyes, of his eyes, of his air, of his words How could I forget anything? Fro, to thelater on, to the unification as one in the end, everything and anything
Is that…is that love?
I don’t know All I know is I want to see hiht this instant I want him to kiss me I want him to hold me
Then why the hell did I insist on leaving hi my own life?
I feelout of the corners of my eyes Hurriedly, I pretend to look away and wipe it away
The bonding of one night ht just be my most precious memory from now on
Master Liao pats me on the shoulders “If it’s hard to deal with by yourself, I won’t think little of you”
I sniff “It’s nothing”
“To be troubled by loveeveryone has to face in their lifetime” He mentions, “I re for me?”
I go and retrieve the battered xiao from my room I sit back down and place the xiao bySwan Geese slowly rise and float off into the clear sky, echoing throughout the night
“Cries of Soaring Swan Geese—a song of longing” Master Liao suddenly gets up and recites “‘Yesterday has abandonedmy mind a mess’”
Suddenly, footsteps approach fro fla voice, “Master, er has summoned you!”
Master Liao’s face darkens even more as if it were enshrouded by frost He whispers, “I fear this late a suht”