Chapter 33: Running Away (2/2)
Ugh…
The last time I have a meal was three days ago when I caught another rabbit.
I have been eating bluegrass ever since, but it is weird and bitter, and it makes me puke.
But it fills me sometimes.
I have been eating snow too.
But it makes my tummy feel weird.
I am tired and hungry…
My body hurts…
Where am I going?
I only know that I have to run away as far as possible.
I have nightmares every time I sleep, so I try to sleep as little as possible.
But sometimes I can't resist and sleep inside old and large trees that are empty inside.
I wish I could use magic… but every time I try to cast something, the mold appears, and I am scared to touch it.
It is vicious, it seems to have a mind of its own…
It wants to eat me and use me as its vessel, as it used me before.
I try to suppress it, but it is trying to eat me from the inside out with those nightmares… it is trying to break my mental fortitude, like in my previous life…
After living seven years of happiness, my mind is strong and has healed…
Every time I am being consumed by the darkness, I remember papa and mama, and I feel at ease…
I wonder how they are doing…
I hope they are not sad that I went away, it was for their own good…
Mama, papa…
I miss you…
I miss you so much…
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.
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Haahh…
Ungh…
I think it has been over a month since I ran away… maybe more, I can't remember well…
Time goes by strange…
I can't perceive things correctly.
I keep walking…
My boots are resistant, so I have not damaged my feet…
But I have not eaten meat in over a week… only herbs and plants, and snow…
I feel weakened…
My limbs tremble each time I walk, my legs are trembling and becoming weak.
My arms and legs look weak too… Hahh…
I want to survive… I have to keep… hunting for food.
.
.
.
I think over three months had gone by, I have been walking deeper into the forest.
Sometimes I begin to hallucinate, depriving myself of sleep is not good…
But I don't want to have nightmares…
I don't wanna…
No…
Sometimes I feel like my entire body is giving up.
But when I think about Mama and Papa, a strange warmth enhances my legs, and I can keep walking…
I think I can use mana that way… but it is very hard… It doesn't obey me, and it comes in and out.
And when I try to concentrate on it, the mold appears and scares me…
I can't… use magic…
I am alone, with my weakened body left…
Am I going to die?
I don't… want to die…
If I was going to die anyways… Maybe I should have killed myself while sleeping in my bed, comfortable and in my home… it would have been way better than dying here…
Hahh…
I want to live through…
I really don't want to live…
Mama, papa…
I wish you are okay…
Wherever you are…
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