Part 9 (2/2)
”You cheated the electric chair, Mazie Maguire, but you won't cheat God God wants you to suffer before you die God wants you to experience the agony of having electricity course through your body God wants you to jump and twitch and lose control of your bowels”
Vanessa's trolley had ju before Kip's death, but now she had completely derailed I had no doubt that she intended to carry out my electrocution I started to scraain, the bullet pinging off the waterspout, ricocheting and nearly hitting un ai the heater toward the tub
At that moment muffin exploded into the room, bounded onto the tub, and launched hi in horror, Vanessa halted her throw ainst the ri crackle as a lightning-blue spark jittered along the length of the cord Standing in a bathwater puddle, Vanessa was jolted backward by the force of the electrical shock and flung against the opposite wall, the cord wrenching loose as she tripped on it
Meanwhile I had my hands full with muffin I pried hi I'd always dreae Clutching his quivering so violently I could scarcely stand I bent to exaed between the toilet and the sink She appeared dazed, her eyes unfocused, a streaers were twitching and her legs were jerking, but I guessed she'd have all her neurons firing in a minute or two Then she'd coun, which had shot out of Vanessa's hands and skittered under the sink I didn't want it, but I figured it ought to be taken away before Vanessa started taking potshots at the neighbors Gun in one hand and dog in the other, I bolted down to the er and blow my foot off
Curses and thu muffin, my hand clamped over his nasty little snout, I crept down the basee closet, atte to kick down the door A padlock was attached to the door hasp, its key nowhere in sight
”It'sstopped ”I heard shots,” Labeck called through the door ”Are you all right?”
”She tried to electrocute me”
”You didn't shoot her, did you?”
”No! She tried to shootVanessa had left it out in plain sight Of course she hadn't Ti out here and the back ofdown the stairs with a chain saw in her hands
”Stand away from the door,” I yelled I aimed at the lock and for the first tiun The padlock exploded
I screaed fro pale and shaken
He stared at ene pool?”
Escape tip 14: Don't fall in the radon
Labeck stopped in a deserted church parking lot to rip the cable coer seat, stuffing wads of Kleenex inside ot back in, started the van, and peeled out
”Was she always like that?” He was still s over the way Vanessa had forced hie closet
”She'sto select one that would illustrate what it was like having the kind of in-laould booby-trap your shoes with scorpions or spike your coffee with WD-40 I told Labeck about the tiether and she'd planted an expensive necklace inHow she'd volunteered toinvitations, but had never iven Kip's best et Kip so drunk at his bachelor party he wouldn't make it to the church
”You'd have been a lot better off if he hadn't shown up,” growled Labeck
muffin snarled, annoyed by Labeck's tone of voice He was imprisoned inside an upended plastic milk crate on the van floor The mutt had chased us as we'd run out of Vanessa's house and leaped into the van A rottweiler trapped inside the body of a beanie baby, he'd raulars, until Labeck had the presence of uff from a two-pound fur ball; whensullenly, muffin lay back down, his upraised hackles clearly expressing the concept: This ain't over yet
”Think the Queen of Mean called the cops after we left?” Labeck asked
”Who knohat goes through that diseased brain? If the police pick me up, she loses her chance to force drain cleaner down my throat” Nervously I checked the van's rearview mirror Vanessa must have seen the cable van, parked outside her house The police could be pulling over white vans all over the city
Labeck fiddled with the illegal police scanner on the dashboard and we listened to garbled trans Klingon as far as I could make out, but Labeck see for a while relaxed
”Nothing I think we're okay for now”
He reached inside his shi+rt pocket and pulled out a black cartridge, tossed it in my lap
”Is this it?” I breathed ”The nanny cam tape?” There was a white label on the outside and the date 9-25
”Might be I found it inside youris that she accidentally unhooked the cable link when she plugged the cord into her old VCR player”
Yes, I could picture that Vanessa, sitting in front of her television, watching the videotape of Kip'sherself into the state of bubbling bile that would enable her to execute h the NSRT at the station,” Labeck said
”Sorry, I don't speak acrony A videotape analysis progra traffic, we pulled into Channel 13 headquarters half an hour later It was a one-story brick building with billboard-sized photos of Peter Polifka le of antennae and satellite dishes large enough to bounce signals to distant galaxies We rolled around to the back, where a parking lot held two more camera vans like Labeck's
”Take the toolbox,” Labeck said ”There's a face mask in there-put it on”
I found the ventilator eons and asbestos rean to breathe like Darth Vader We got out of the van,a clipboardto his feet and began biting at the crate slats, growling out threats about what he was going to do to us once he busted out Labeck slauy,” Labeck instructed ”You're here to fix theyou're checking for radon nobody knohat the hell radon is, so we ought to be safe with that story”
We What a sord A buddy-buddy word, a spine-stiffening word, a word ten thousand times more powerful than the puny I When had you and I un to believeme? Maybe it was best not to look too hard into that particular gift horse's mouth
Labeck took out a set of keys and unlocked the building's back door I followed hione two steps before ahis fly
”Benny, my man!”
”Hey,” Labeck responded unenthusiastically
My Darth Vader breathing quickened Standing directly in front of me was the real-life Peter Polifka, Channel 13's anchoreous in person than on TV He was tan, square-jawed, and full-lipped His teeth were the blinding white of a Cloroxed toilet bowl He wore a pink shi+rt, a burgundy tie, and a dark gray suit His voice was a deep, sexy baritone I kneo Taycheedah inhs
Polifka pointed at me, puzzled bya male in front of Peter Polifka I wanted him to see h now that he was standing in front of me, I noticed that he was a foot shorter than I'd pictured and that his tan looked like pancake makeup
”Radon check,” Labeck muttered
Polifka looked alarmed ”Oh Is there-”
”Strictly routine”
Polifka peered at me ”Do you know your pants are wet?”
”He fell into some radon,” Labeck said casually ”It happens But you should be okay if you stay in your office with the door locked and the blinds down for a couple hours Maybe crawl under your desk”
Peter Polifka rocked back on his two-inch heels, considering this information ”Well Okay then Carry on” He turned around and scurried away, as though radon were contagious