Vol 4 Chapter 5 (1/2)
The way a person looks is not the way they are
The way a person looks is just the way they are selected
1
It appeared it stopped raining while I was sleeping
Six o'clock in the
There were still a lot of clouds in the sky, and the sun coh light to be able toon the roof of the inn, alone, and letting the wind have its iththe wind have its ithmy drowsiness escape
There were a number of puddles on the tiled roof I nonsensically tried stepping in one Obviously, water splashed every which way My shoes and pant sleeves becarew bored, and lifted my foot from the puddle
”-- die”
I mumbled, and suddenly, with my left hand, I pulled out the knife from the hidden holster in my jacket The thin, really so thin that you would think you could see through it, knife that a doctor aveair
I continued to swing a second, third ti like ain particular for avein my heart
”-- , Aikawa-san,” I stopped and ”
Did even that human failure have a blade like this It iven that it is a knife with a short blade, but this lightness, and this ease of use was a marvel of its own sort It was like a contemporary version of ornamental knives Co it since Aikawa-san had given it to ht indeed come in handy if such a situation were to arise, and I nodded to myself, and tried to return the knife to the holster
And, then, I caht that there was no need to use the knife with ht-handed If I th However, because the strength of the knife is its quickness, there was no need to use it with my left hand In fact, perhaps the knife should be used in ht-handed people, after all As such, the fact that the knife pocket in the holster was designed for left-handed use, and that it was intended to be placed on the right side of ned for that role, would it not?
Knives -- well, not just knives, but any weapon, when held, draw peoples' attention This is of course the case for the one being attacked, but it is the same for the attacker If you flip that around, it means that people think if you handle the weapon then you are safe
What I speak of is variation
This knife is splendid, but it would be bad to rely on it I thought that, and took off my jacket, flipped the holster, placed the knife back in, and then put the jacket back on
”-- either way, this is still just to make myself feel better”
Or perhaps for recreation
I cannot deny that there is a bit of self-deprecation in that admission The abnorh to dampen my mood, but to add to that, there was Miyoshi+ Kokoromi-sensei, and then and then, Ishi+maru Kouta
Hmm, Ishi+maru Kouta
To be honest, when I accepted the knife froht there would not be an occasion to need it, and even if there were to be such an occasion, I thought it would still be useless in my hands, but, maybe it was still better to have it around to make myself feel better than to not have it at all
”-- quite a dangerous hobby, Inoji Instead of a Fallen Indulgence, are you going for a Bladed Indulgence?”
Suddenly, a voice spoke to ured who it was based on voice and way of talking, but in any case there was Suzunashi+-san She had apparently still not changed, and was still wearing a china dress Perhaps she had just awakened, as she had black-fralasses on instead of contact lenses
” good , Suzunashi+-san You were awake?”
”I've been friends with the sun since I was born I wake up pretty early, you know Yes, good , Inoji,” Suzunashi+-san s? Are you trying to get into son force? Inoji, I can introduce you to some people, if you want”
”I will pass,” Ifrom Suzunashi+-san ”I just wanted toexercise is iet a workout before the exhaustion built-up over my teen years catches up to me”
”I can help out if you want to train I can be a sparring partner, too,” Suzunashi+-san said, appearing to not be joking ”So? Where's Ao-chan?”
” it is not like we are always a set Although it seeisa is usually cooped up, right? And on top of that she lives in shi+rosaki We actually have a low encounter rate”
”Well, yeah, when it comes to encounter rates you probably run into Asano way hbors and all”
Suzunashi+-san said that and then stretched Based on that, it appeared she had not come to the roof because of me, but rather simply because she wanted to exercise and stretch herself
After coan s And then she said, ”Hey, Inoji”
”I read an interesting book when I was being an elementary school student I've read countless books in ”
”Huh What sort of book?”
”Yes If you're asking as interesting, it was a es, the latter half of it was blank I was surprised, I didn't see that twist co”
”It was a misprint”
”But it was interesting It was really surprising,” Suzunashi+-san took out a lighter and then lit the cigarette She made it look really cool, but her china dress ruined the cool-ness ” but that goes for th is two hours, then you can always deduce where you are in the movie If you're one hour into the movie, you're at around the one-hour mark, but if you're in the last fivethe cli short wouldn't happen unless it's a broken fil”
”So are you trying to get at life is different, Suzunashi+-san?”
”Close, but not exactly”
Suzunashi+-san offered arette and asked, ”Smoke?” but I shook my head and declined
”In other words for exa a Hollywood movie, and the heroine actress doesn't show up an hour into the fil, or aliens or anything, do you think that'd ever happen?”
”Never”
”Reading a es but no one's killed, and the detective hasn't even shown up yet, would you be able to call that a mystery novel?”
”Never”
”But in that sense, life is different,” Suzunashi+-san repeated s should be wrapping up soon, or, that sort of premonition or more like, otten to that point, I'll get to the point I wanted to get to, which is, Inoji What are you intending to do with Ao-chan?”
” intending to do? What do you mean? That is rather abrupt,” I tiltedlike I did not understand asof the sort”
”You have university and yet you tagged along all the way over here, and picked a fight with Sir Utsurigi and Sir Kyouichirou what are you doing?”
”That is a very fundamental question, but I do not know that either I do not even want to think about what I a Or, Suzunashi+-san, are you able to put a reason to everything you do?”
”Iparadoxical Don't mistake reason and paradox, Inoji Hahah, perhaps that was a difficult way to put it?Inoji, I can't believe that a boy wouldn't want to hug the girl he likes if she's right there in front of him”
””
I could not even back-channel at Suzunashi+-san's words
”Of course, that's your own business, Inoji, but your life isn't continuing forever I think you should let other people take care of things sometimes Otherwise you'll miss out on a lot”
” you make it sound like I am distrustful of people”
”You are Absolutely distrustful You've never once believed someone, have you? But you know, for example, Inoji, I like you Asano too, can't help but find you cute That's why she caed me to chaperon you two I don't think it needs to be stated that Ao-chan, too, loves Inoji You understand that at least, don't you?”
”shi+to-kun and Utsurigi also like and hate and such, we are not children you know”
I know I should not even be retorting I know that Suzunashi+-san is correct However I could not help but retort No, this was not even a retort, it was just -- exactly, like a sulking a child
”Just because they like the other person, where is the guarantee that they would never betray them? It is not that hard to become friends with so about liking and hating just leads to unpleasantness”
”It's not food, so I think it's fine to talk about liking and hating, I think”
”It is the same as food Human relations People who are sensible about it find it delicious”
”I can't believe you actually think that,” Suzunashi+-san did not fall for the taunt With correctness, as if dealing with a coht, but have you ever spat out how you actually feel in your life? U?”
””
”I think -- you can, say what you want, a bit more, don't you think?”
” I will say nothing I am a silent character, after all”
”If you want Is that so is that so I see, so that's your defensive wall Or perhaps just your last shred of pride? Then what a cheap wall of pride Youpeople with that, but actually you look pretty silly, just so you know”
”Can you please just let it go,” I kept my eyes off Suzunashi+-san as I spoke ”I am not in the mood to listen to Suzunashi+-san's lectures My stomach is quite full, thank you So much so that if I were to lean one way I would probably start leaking it all over the place There is a lot for me to think about”
”A lot, eh like Ao-chan, like yourself, like Ao-chan, like yourself, I assume?”
”Is that wrong?”
”I won't say it's wrong I just won't say it, but I do think it's wrong And you know, you should take a look outside for once, you know? The way you are now, you're just like the researchers here”
”What do you mean?”
”Putting up a wall all around like this, and no one knohat they're doing inside You know, Inoji I'll be honest, we -- by which I mean us ordinary people that aren't any special species like you and Ao-chan, and Professor Kyouichirou and Sir Utsurigi, we're scared of things that we don't know Because, we don't know”
Scared of things that are unknown
The fear that Professor Kyouichirou holds with regards to Kunagisa -- does that fall under that?
” it is a survival instinct to fear the unknown That is nothing to fret over”
”But you like things that you don't know, right? You absolutely love situations that aren't clear, that're vague and half-assed, don't you?”
Attracted to the unknown
The worshi+p that Utsurigi Gaisuke holds with regards to Kunagisa -- does that fall under that?
”I a like that”
”You should try to get better at lying You ht be able to dupe other people, but that doesn't work on me”
”Monks-in-training say different things”
”I', because there's no need Anyways, you like the vague unknown That's probably why you're placing yourself in such a vague position but you know, even if it's just a little, don't you think you could tag along with us?”
”I have been doing so,” I said ”But you know, I have limits, too It seems like everyone and anyone harbors some sort of expectations from me, and of course I would love to meet their expectations, too, but I cannot meet expectations if I lack the capability So to have so but bothersome”
”What really is that half-hearted desire to interact with people?” Suzunashi+-san suddenly said ”Hating people yet still wanting to be by people, goes beyond the selfishness of people who can meld into society, I think anyways”
”-- what?”
”If you really think they're annoying, you can just become a mountain hermit like me It'd be easy for you wouldn't it? You'd be able to live just fine alone Pessio away somewhere Don't think of h But, people who can live alone,people all do that, you know?”
”Is that why you do not see strong people very often An a theory Quite a leap, but not paradoxical, I see, a,” I nodded with contempt ”However, I am a weak person I am a coward that hates people”
”Inoji For crying out loud, can you stop with that?”
Suzunashi+-san slid past my words
”-- what do you mean by, stop with that?”
”Making it sound like you're faulty and that no one else is What's thelike you're incapable? Do you enjoy self-deprecation? I don't like that way of thought, either Inoji, I' about this, so come here”
”What are you going to do?”
”Punch you”
There is no idiot that would hear that and walk over I stood in place, and put up both my hands as an answer to Suzunashi+-san She saw that and then said, ”Alright, alright”
”I won't punch you, so come over here”
I heard that, felt relieved, and walked over
She punched me
” that hurt”
”Punch things that're broken to fix them”
”My head hurts fros to think about already please spare me”
”Mmhmm Your head hurts?”
She pulled my hair
”Don't worry It's just a scratch”
””
”Here”
Suzunashi+-san said as she let go ofof a punch I staggered back two or three steps, and then stopped
”At the very least, you don't seem that weak to me”
” what you think of me is your own business”
”That's why I' enough You're strong enough at least to not need to cling to othersbut, on the other hand, there's an actual proble with people better than you do now, you know? You said I have been doing so just now, but -- you know the truth, don't you? About that sort of stuff”
””
”It just looks toon purpose”
In April, surrounded by geniuses
In May, tagging along with classmates
In June, confronting a high school girl
Every time, I failed
But were those failures really unavoidable? Or perhaps had I actually known everything, and despite all that, chosen the wrong path?
Afraid of success, afraid of triumph
And then, July
In the Mad Demon Shadou Kyouichirou Research Facility--
Do I intend to fail?
” I aisa up”
I said, and then turnedSuzunashi+-san did not stop h And that was, the way it was
It was enough, of gouging through me
”Jeez”
That person really loves lecturing However, they say I a lectured, so that may be more of an issue
I arrived at Kunagisa's room, and knocked on the door However, there was no response She was probably still asleep Last night she slept fairly early (for Kunagisa), but she was probably tired froisa did not have much stamina
I opened the door without isa was sleeping on top of the bed She had terrible sleeping form, and half of the blanket had fallen off the bed She was sleeping with a carefree face, with an expression of coht, what a truly happy person
A happy person
A happy person
However, is she happy?
I walked to the side of the bed, and crouched I carefully extended by hand, and touched Kunagisa's blue hair It was an action that did not particularly have , but in any case, I did that And then I played with the hair for a bit, and then, isa's cheek
” co similar about me”
However
However, Suzunashi+-san
You do not know everything about me What sort of secrets that cannot be told I carry, she does not knoisted a person I am, how abysmally sinful a person I am, she does not know I do not want to be lectured by someone who does not know, and I do not want people to knoays
After all, what I do not trust is not other people, it is myself
”Truly a ht”
I ers to Kunagisa's lips I turnedso, I moved my hands, this time, to her throat I touched the isa Tomo's life, and then
And then, I slapped Kunagisa's cheek
”Uni? Nini,” Kunagisa seemed to have awakened ” huh Ii-chan Ukh?mornink”
”Mornink”
I slapped Kunagisa's cheek once ”
”Huh already? I feel like I only slept five isa rubbed her eyes ”That's odd I feel like I haven't slept at all lately”
”Your exhaustion is probably catching up Because you keep forcing your cruo on a trip so? Like a vacation, right, like over to Mongolia Not a violent place like this”
”That ood idea but I'd never do it, because it sounds tiring”
Kunagisa slid off the bed and said ”tie my hair” I nodded, and pulled off the black rubber band aroundhair together Her hair had grown longer since we had reunited, though I do not know if Kunagisa ever cuts her hair
”Tomo, do you not cut your hair?”
”Mmm If I do, Ii-chan wouldn't be able to tie isa puckered her lips and said ”But it'll get really hot soon”
”Your roo” I said, and then re of which, Professor Kyouichirou and the Utsurigi guy both e your hairstyle?”
”Hmm? Ahh, yeah I did”
”Hmm”
Kunagisa o And she last saw Utsurigi two years ago However, when I isa had seemed the same as she had always been Then, what sort of journey had Kunagisa's hairstyle taken?