Part 42 (1/2)

CHAPTER XCII

He is indulged with a second Audience by the Minister, of whose Sincerity he is convinced--His Pride and Aentleman's money had been in other hands, perhaps the peer would have been at very little pains, either in gratifying his dee; but he knew that the sale of the e could not be effected without an inquiry, to which he did not wish to be exposed He, therefore, e the solicited audience This being granted, Peregrine, with great warmth and elocution, expatiated upon the injury his fortune had suffered in the affair of the borough, for which he had stood candidate; he took notice of the disappointment he had sustained in the other election, reminded him of the promises hich he had been amused, and, in conclusion, desired to knohat he had to expect fro patiently heard hiracious aspect, that he was very well informed of his merit and attachard which he paid to both; that till of late he did not know the nature of his expectations, neither had he the power of creating posts for those whom he was inclined to serve; but if Mr Pickle would chalk out any feasible method by which he could manifest his sentiments of friendshi+p, he should not be backward in executing the plan

Peregrine, laying hold on this declaration, mentioned several places which he knew to be vacant But the old evasion was still used; one of them was not in his department of business, another had been promised to the third son of a certain earl before the death of the last possessor, and a third was encuood half of the appointments In short, such obstructions were started to all his proposals as he could not possibly surh he plainly perceived they were no other than specious pretexts to cover theside of a refusal Exasperated, therefore, at this lack of sincerity and gratitude, ”I can easily foresee,” said he, ”that such difficulties will never be wanting, when I have anything to ask; and for that reason will save , he withdrew in a very abrupt e But his patron, who did not think proper to drive him to extre for the pacification of the youngour adventurer received ato see him immediately

In consequence of this intimation, Pickle went to his house, and appeared before hiht concern, that his tealled to endure reproof; and therefore the sagacious peer forbore taking hi the audience he had obtained; but gave him to understand, that the minister, in consideration of his services, had sent him a bank-note of three hundred pounds, with a promise of the like sum yearly, until he could be otherwise provided for This declaration in some measure appeased the youth, who condescended to accept the present; and, next levee day, ment to the donor, who favoured him with a smile of infinite complacency, which entirely dissipated all the remains of his resentment; for, as he could not possibly divine the true cause of his being temporized with, he looked upon this condescension as an undoubted proof of Sir Steady's sincerity, and firmly believed that he would settle him in some place with the first opportunity, rather than continue to pay this pension out of his own pocket In all probability, his prediction would have been verified, had not an unforeseen accident in a moment overwhelmed the barque of his interest at court

Meanwhile, this short gleaood fortune recalled the ideas of pride and ambition which he had forood-huan to be considered as a rising man by his fellow-dependents, who saw the particular notice hich he was favoured at the public levee; and soraces He no longer shunned his forood part of his fortune had been spent, but made up to them in all places of public resort, with the same ease and familiarity as he had been used to express, and even re-eth of his sanguine expectation Cadwallader and he renewed their consultations in the court of ridicule; and divers exploits were achieved, to the confusion of those who had ”sailed into the north of their displeasure”

But these enjoyments were soon interrupted by a misfortune equally fatal and unexpected His noble patron was seized with an apoplectic fit, froht despatch hi to rule, and in two months after they were called, he went the way of all flesh Peregrine was very much afflicted at this event, not only on account of his friendshi+p for the deceased, to whoations, but also because he feared that his own interest would suffer a severe shock, by the removal of this nobleman, whom he considered as its chief support He put hiard to the enuine h he had in reality ined When quarter-day came about, he applied to the steward of his lordshi+p's heir for the interest of his money, as usual; and the reader will readily own he had some reason to be surprised, when he was told he had no claier talked very civilly as well as sensibly on the subject ”Your appearance, sir,” said he to Pickle, ”screens you froe upon those lands you ranted to another person many years before you pretend to have lent that su, paid one quarter's interest, as appears from this receipt, which you rine was so thunderstruck at this information, which stripped him of his all, that he could not utter one word; a circureat honour to his character in the opinion of the steward, who, in good earnest, began to entertain so the papers of the deceased, which he had exa to this encurine recollected hiiously reatest villain upon earth ”But, Mr Whatd'ycalluive me leave to tell you, that your bare assertion in this affair will by no means induce me to put up quietly with the loss of ten thousand pounds”

Having thus expressed himself, he retired from the house so discontented at this demur, that he scarce knehether heto be in his way, he sauntered about, giving vent to a soliloquy in praise of his departed friend, the burden of which was a string of incoherent curses i way to his reflection, he deliberated seriously and sorrowfully upon his misfortune, and resolved to consult lawyers without loss of time But, first of all, he proposed to make personal application to the heir, who, by a candid representation of the case, ht be inclined to do him justice In consequence of this deters in his pocket, and went in a chair to the house of the young noble adratification to the porter, he explained the whole affair, corroborating his assertions with the papers which he produced, and describing the disgrace that would be entailed upon the ed to seek redress in a public court of justice

The executor, as a person of good breeding, condoled hih he did not seem much surprised at his account of the matter; but wished, that, since the fraud e had fallen upon the first rown rich by the distresses of his fellow-creatures In answer to our hero's remonstrances, he observed, that he did not look upon hiard to the character of his predecessor, who had used hi him fro his inheritance as much as lay in his power; so that it could not be reasonably expected that he would pay ten thousand pounds of his debt, for which he had received no value Peregrine, in spite of his chagrin, could not help owning within hiood deal of reason in this refusal After having given loose to his indignation in the ainst the defunct, he took his leave of the complaisant heir, and had immediate recourse to the advice of counsel, who assured hily retained in the cause

All these our of his exertion, during which his spirits were so fluttered with the diversity of passions produced by his mischance, that he mistook for equanimity that which was no other than intoxication; and thole days elapsed before he attained a due sense of his misfortune Then, indeed, he underwent a woeful self-exas to his reflection; and the result of the whole was a discovery, that his fortune was totally consumed, and himself reduced to a state of the ht, in the anguish of his despondency, have driven him to some desperate course, had it not been in some measure qualified by the confidence of his lawyers, and the assurance of the enerally found them, were the only bulwarks between misery and him

The mind is naturally pliable, and, provided it has the least hope to lean upon, adapts itself wonderfully to the eay and luxuriant This was the case with our adventurer; instead of indulging the melancholy ideas which his loss inspired, he had recourse to the flattering delusions of hope, soothing hireatness, and endeavouring to cover as past with the veil of oblivion After some hesitation, he resolved to make Crabtree acquainted with his ht pass the ordeal of his satire, without subjecting hi series of sarcastic hints and doubtful allusions, which he could not endure He accordingly took the first opportunity of telling him that he was absolutely ruined by the perfidy of his patron, and desired that he would not aggravate his affliction by those cynical remarks which were peculiar to men of his misanthropical disposition Cadwallader listened to this declaration with internal surprise, which, however, produced no alteration in his countenance; and, after some pause, observed, that our hero had no reason to look for any new observation fro foreseen, and daily expected, and exhorted him, with an ironical sneer, to console himself with the proe the debts of his deceased bosorine come of Authors

The bitterness of this explanation being passed, our young gentle up the deficiencies of his yearly incorievously reduced; and determined to profit, in some shape or other, by those talents which he owed to nature and education He had, in his affluence, heard of several authors, ithout any pretensions to genius or huenteel subsistence by undertaking work for booksellers, in which reputation was not at all concerned One, for example, professed all manner of translation, at so much per sheet, and actually kept five or six amanuenses continually e-house, by which means he was enabled to live at his ease, and enjoy his friend and his bottle, ambitious of no other character than that of an honest hbour Another projected a variety of plans for new dictionaries, which were executed under his eye by day-labourers; and the province of a third was history and voyages, collected or abridged by understrappers of the same class

Mr Pickle, in his comparisons, paid such deference to his own capacity, as banished all doubts of his being able to excel any of those undertakers in their different branches of profession, if ever he should be driven to that experilory coincide, by atte some performance which should do him honour with the public, and at the sa the copy-purchasers in town With this view, he worshi+pped the e paid to every species of poetic composition, in which neither satire nor obscenity occurs, he produced an imitation of Juvenal, and lashed some conspicuous characters, with equal truth, spirit, and severity Though his nae of this production, he ed matters so that the as universally iether disappointed in his expectations of success; for the impression was immediately sold off, and the piece became the subject of conversation in all assemblies of taste

This happy exordium not only attracted the addresses of the booksellers, who made interest for his acquaintance, but also roused the notice of a society of authors, who styled thee,” fro to enroll him a member by unani a bard who had formerly tasted of our hero's bounty, used all his eloquence to persuade him to comply with the advances of their fraternity, which he described in such a manner as inflamed the curiosity of Pickle, who disreat honour they conferred upon hi to merit the continuance of their approbation

He was afterwards, by the sae; and, in consequence of his infor of his introduction He understood that this constitution was no other than a body of authors, incorporated by e and satisfaction, opposed to another assembly of the same kind, their avowed eneht to strengthen themselves with such a valuable acquisition as our hero was likely to prove The college consisted of authors only, and these of all degrees in point of reputation, fro at Marylebone, to the drae: nay, one of the ht books of an epic poe subscriptions

It cannot be supposed that such a congregation of the sons of Apollo would sit a whole evening with order and decorum, unless they were under the check of so been foreseen, they had elected a president, vested with full power to silence any member or members that should attempt to disturb the hare, who at this time possessed the chair, was a person in years, whose countenance was a lively portraiture of that rancorous discontent which follows repeated damnation He had been extremely unfortunate in his theatrical productions, and was, to use the words of a profane ho assisted at the condemnation of his last play, by this time d--d beyond redemption Nevertheless, he still tarried about the skirts of Parnassus, translating so miscellanies, and by dint of an invincible assurance, supercilious insolence, the e of life, he made shi+ft to acquire andand wit, in the opinion of people who had neither; that is, thirty-nine in forty of those hom he associated hiht by soh the major part of those who favoured his election, were such as dreaded his malice, respected his experience and seniority, or hated his competitor, as the epic poet

The chief end of this society, as I have already hinted, was to assist and support each other in their productions, which they mutually recommended to sale, with all their art and influence, not only in private conversation, but also in occasional epigrams, criticisms, and advertisements, inserted in the public papers This science, which is known by the vulgar appellation of puffing, they carried to such a pitch of finesse, that an author very often wrote an abusive answer to his own performance, in order to inflame the curiosity of the town, by which it had been overlooked Notwithstanding this general unani subsisted between the two rivals I have mentioned, on account of precedence, to which both laid claih, by a majority of votes, it had been decided in favour of the present chaire or defiance, but , in attenant repartee; so that there was always a delicate , for the entertainment and example of the junior members, who never failed to divide upon this occasion, declaring theed by their looks, gestures, and applause, according to the circumstances of the dispute

This honourable consistory was held in the best room of an ale-house, which afforded wine, punch, or beer, suitable to the purse or inclination of every individual, who separately paid for his own choice; and here was our hero introduced in the e, forracious soleht hand of the president, who, having commanded silence, recited aloud his introductory ode, which met with universal approbation Then was tendered to hi hie of the society as far as it should he in his power, in every station of life; and this being taken, his temples were bound with a wreath of laurel, which was kept sacred for such inauguration

When these rites were performed with all due ceremony, the new member cast his eyes around the place, and took awhoard to the colour, fashi+ons, and dimensions, which were such as he had never seen before Those who sat on each side, nearest the president, were generally distinguished by venerable ties, the foretops of which exhibited a surprising diversity; solacis of a fortification; some were elevated in two distinct eminences, like the hills Helicon and Parnassus; and others were curled and reflected, as the horns of Jupiter Ammon Next to these, the majors took place, many of which were mere succedanea, made by the application of an occasional rose to the tail of a lank bob; and in the lower form appeared masses of hair, which would admit of no description

Their clothes were tolerably well suited to the furniture of their heads, the apparel of the upper bench being decent and clean, while that of the second class was threadbare and soiled; and at the lower end of the room, he perceived divers efforts made to conceal their rent breeches and dirty linen; nay, he could distinguish by their countenances the different kinds of poetry in which they exercised the ard; Satire louring in a frown of envy and discontent; Elegy whining in a funeral aspect; Pastoral dozing in adelineated in a distracted stare; and Epigra with a pert sneer Perhaps our hero refined too much in his penetration, when he affirmed, that, over and above these discoveries, he could plainly perceive the state of every one's finances, and would have undertaken to have guessed each particular sus froeneral, began to fall into parties; and the epic poet had actually attracted the attention of a private co aloud, ”No cabals, no conspiracies, gentle it incumbent upon him to make some reply to this rebuke, answered, ”We have no secrets; he that hath ears, let him hear” This was spoke as an intimation to the company, whose looks were instantly whetted with the expectation of their ordinary meal; but the president seehting face, he calmly replied, that he had seen Mr Metaphor tip the wink, and whisper to one of his confederates, and thence judged, that there was sohis antagonist crest-fallen, resolved to take the advantage of his dejection, that he er; and, with that view, asked, with an air of exultation, if a ht not be allowed to have a convulsion in his eye, without being suspected of a conspiracy? The president, perceiving his drift, and piqued at his presumption, ”To be sure,” said he, ”a man of a weak head may be very well supposed to have convulsions in his eyes” This repartee produced a laugh of triu the chairot a smart rap on the pate ”Yes,” replied the bard, ”in that respect Mr Chaire of me Had my head been fortified with a horn-work, I should not have been so sensible of the stroke” This retort, which carried a severe allusion to the president's wife, lighted up the countenances of the aggressor's friends, which had begun to be a little obumbrated; and had a contrary effect upon the other faction, till their chief, collecting all his capacity, returned the salute, by observing, that there was no occasion for a horn-work, when the covered as not worth defending

Such a reprisal upon Mr Metaphor's yoke-felloas by no means remarkable for her beauty, could not fail to operate upon the hearers; and as for the bard himself, he was evidently ruffled by the reflection; to which, however, he, without hesitation, replied, ”Egad! 'tis my opinion, that, if your covered as laid open, few people would venture to give the assault”--”Not unless their batteries were more effectual than the fire of your wit,” said the president ”As for that matter,” cried the other with precipitation, ”they would have no occasion to batter in breach; they would find the angle of the la pucelle bastion demolished to their hands--he, he!”--”But I believe it would surpass your understanding,” resumed the chairman, ”to fill up the fosse”--”That, I own, is impracticable,” replied the bard, ”there I should meet with a hiatus maxime deflendus!”