Part 23 (1/2)

BENEFICIAL EFFECT OF A RAILWAY ACCIDENT

A gentleman as in a railway collision in 1869, wrote to the _Ti that he had been threatened with a violent attack of rheumatic fever; in fact, he observed, ”my condition so alarmed me, and my dread of a sojourn in a Manchester hotel bed for two or three reat, that I resolved to make a bold sortie and, rapped up, start for London by the 330 p that station to the ti at express speed; my weak body was in a profuse perspiration; flashes of pain announced that the muscular fibres were under the tyrannical control of rheumatism, and I was almost beside myself with toothache From the moment of the collision to the present hour no ache, pain, sweat, or treree, and instead of being, as I expected, and indeed intended, in bed drinking _tinct aurantii_, or absorbing through my pores oil of horse-chestnut, I am conscientiously bound to be at my office bodily sound Don't print my name and address, or the Midland Company may come down upon me for compensation”

AN EARLY MORNING RIDE TO THE RAILWAY STATION

In the course of his peregrinations, the railway traveller ular vehicle can be obtained to convey hiravated when the ti

Captain B-, a ed early one e, where froht It was just dawn of day, and within an hour of the train he wished to go by would start from the station, about six miles distant He had with him a portmanteau, which it would be impossible for him to carry within the prescribed ti on what he should do, his eye lighted on a likely looking horse grazing in a field hard by, while in the next field there was a line extended between two posts, for the purpose of drying clothes upon The sight of these objects soon suggested the plan for him to adopt In an instant he detached the line, and then taking a piece of bread from his pocket, coaxed the anieh rider, perhaps, had no equal In a few seconds he had, by the aid of a portion of the line, arranged his port a bridle with the re portion of the line, he led his steed into the lane, and sprang upon his back The horse rather relished the trip than otherwise, and ith the unaccusto steered by a knowing hand, he sped onwards at a terrific pace While in mid career, one of thethe road at a distance; recognizing the horse, but not knowing the rider, and noticing also the portuardian of the peace came to the conclusion that this was a case of robbery and horse stealing; and as the captain neared him, he endeavoured to stop him, and stretched forth his hand to seize the ihed to scorn the impotent attempt, and shook hi to do than to give chase; so turning his horse's head he followed in full cry The clatter and shouts of pursuer and pursued brought forth the inhabitants of the cottages as they passed, and many of these joined in the chase Never since Turpin's ride to York, or Johnny Gilpin's ride to Edmonton, had there been such a co story short, the captain reached the station in ay was tendered to the patrol, and a present equally handsoether with the abstracted property, to the joint owner of the horse and the clothes-line

CHEAP FARES

In the year 1868, Mr Raphael Brandon brought out a book called _Railways and the Public_ In it he proposes that the railways should be purchased and worked by the governers, like letters, should travel any distance at a fixed charge He calculates that a threepenny stamp for third-class, a sixpenny sta staer any distance whether long or short With the adoption of the scheer traffic that the returns would amount to more than double what they are at present There may be flaws in Mr

Brandon's theory, yet it reat innovator anization what Sir Rowland Hill has done for the postage of the country by the penny stamp

WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

The above question was asked by a man of his friend who had been injured in a railway accident, ”I aes_,” was the answer

REPROOF FOR SWEARING

Thea European subordinate given to indulge in needless strong language, wrote as follows:-”Dear sir, it is with extre to your notice that I observed very unprofessional conduct on your part this uage you used to the drivers and others This I consider an unwarrantable assuhts and privileges Should you wish to abuse any of our eular for to point out what I consider this to be You will please to sub, the form of oath you wish to use, when, if it meets my approval, I shall at once sanction it; but if not, I shall refer the same to the directors; and, in the course of a feeeks, their decision will be known

Perhaps, to save tiht be as well for you to subenerally in use by you, and I can then at once refer those to which I object to the directors for their decision But, pending that, you will please to understand that all cursing and swearing at drivers and others engaged on the traffic arrange, and throughthis course you will perceive how much responsibility you will save yourself, and how very much the business of the company will be expedited, and its interests promoted”

THE BULLY RIGHTLY SERVED

In the _Railway Traveller's Handy Book_, there is an account of an occurrence which took place on the Eastern Counties line:-”A big hulking felloith bully written on his face, took his seat in a second-class carriage, and forthwith coestures He was asked to desist, but only responded with language uard was then appealed to, who told hiht' Thus encouraged the raceful conduct, and becae were four farhbourhood, and to who the line ell known One of these wrote on a slip of paper these words, 'Let us souse hih' This paper was handed from one to the other, and each nodded assent Now, Chuckley Slough was a pond near one of the railway stations, not very deep, but the waters of which were black, muddy, and somewhat repellent to the olfactory nerves The station was neared and arrived at; in the meantied from the station, one of the farmers, aforesaid, said to the fellow, 'Noill you he quiet?' 'No, I won't,' was the answer 'You won't, won't you?' asked a second farmer

'You're determined you won't?' inquired a third 'You're certain you won't?' asked the fourth To all of which queries the response was in negatives, with certain inelegant expletives added thereto 'Then,' said the four faro'