Vol 1 Chapter 2 (1/2)

Su of autumn, Matsuoka turned off his third alarm clock, pulled the sheets over his head and curled up in bed Soon, his cell phone started ringing For a while he refused to iven to him He reluctantly picked up the phone

“Good ” A trace of a smile could be detected in the voice that echoed placidly in his sleepy ears “Ten rings I think you’ve set a record You’ll be late for work if you dawdle toomy house for work now, too Bye, then”

The line went dead Matsuoka sluggishly got out of bed and typed an e-mail while he brushed his teeth

‘Was it ? I want to be in bed still, to tell you the truth’ He pressed “send” He got a newhimself coffee

‘You’re right, it was cold Have you been tucking yourself in properly at night so you don’t get sick?’

Matsuoka replied while drinking his coffee

‘Not bragging or anything, but I haven’t caught a cold in years You knohat they say about how certain types of people don’t catch colds’

After sending a reply, Matsuoka changed into his suit He fixed his hair and picked up his bag Amidst his preparations, he received another e-mail

‘It’s rare to hear someone say that about herself From what I know, you seem like quite the competent office worker’

Matsuoka left his apartment and typed as he walked

‘Why would you think I’m competent? All I do is send you lame e-mails’

He went through the ticket gates at the station and boarded the train In the crowded car, he heard the sound of his ring tone as he received an e-ot off the train that he was able to check the e

‘I don’t think your e-mails are lame But I do think you’re very honest I’ht Have a good day at work’

Matsuoka stowed his cell phone in his bag Straight-laced Hirosue never sent e-mails from work It was common sense, but there were always people who couldn’t follow these kinds of basic rules, no ot Matsuoka himself had sent a few e-irlfriend

Maybe it was nothing to be so rigid about;as no one found out and you didn’t cause trouble for anyone But the sight of thisso proper made Matsuoka feel like he needed to be proper, too It was strange

Ever since telling Hirosue his e-es froot several of them a day Matsuoka at first intended to reply a few ti thetheir conversations more than he had planned Unable to turn hi on until they had been in contact for nearly ahi that hinted at the ro the lines of “I love you” or “I want to see you”

His frequent es came like one friend to another; for Matsuoka, who had been du touch with his friends froood distraction froes in a row if Matsuoka didn’t reply Matsuoka quite liked that he could carry on the conversation at his own pace

It was about a week ago that he had begun receiving wake-up calls

‘I can’t get up in the ain today,’ he’d said in an e-mail to Hirosue once

‘I could give you a wake-up call if you like,’ came his answer

‘Then call

‘I wouldn’tthat, but I don’t have your phone nu e-mails for about three weeks now, Matsuoka was under the impression that Hirosue already knew his nuive theto let Hirosue step any further into his life than e- how polite and courteous Hirosue had been so far, he probably wouldn’t call without good reason―so Matsuoka gave thehi

Now, they exchangedand in the evening Even if the e-ht a book on the way ho them

Even if they couldn’t see each other, Matsuoka could still sense the , and just reading it tugged his face into a smile and made him feel warm inside

Aside fro here and there, Matsuoka acted like hied Hirosue Part of it cae Hirosue seemed to have of him His efforts seeed es Soh to put a wry smile on Matsuoka’s face On these occasions, Matsuoka told thehi the man life lessons

‘Was it really that la Matsuoka burst into laughter in front of his cell phone

As soon as Matsuoka arrived at the office, he was kidnapped by Hayama, in administration She told hi this , and at this rate there was no way she would ed hi to do with this But Haya here in the sa her nearly in tears nore her

The copier in their departh, so Matsuoka and Hayama went down to the copier room on the second floor

The copier room was open to all departments, and they found Hirosue was inside Matsuoka would nor the oblivious ed four out of five copiers in the room and ran them simultaneously They had thirty minutes to copy fifty sets of thirty-one sheets It seemed simply impossible

“You can use this, too” Hirosue freed up a copier, so they used that one, too They couldn’t start binding the sheets until every one of the but watch until the copies were done Hayama was teary-eyed as she stood beside the copier

“How did you end up in this fix, anyway? Don’t you usually prepare materials a day in advance?” Matsuoka asked

“I don’t know,” she said obtusely

“What do you mean, you don’t know? That’s careless of you”

“Ms Okabayashi+ is the careless one!” Hayanantly “I told her yesterday to es in each set, by to rolled around, she said I hadn’t told her anything! When I snapped at her she started crying, and then the er was all, ‘Did you really tell Okabayashi+?’, like I was the guilty one…”

Matsuoka recalled another incident that involved Okabayashi+ and a dispute over whether or not she had received an order from a company No harm had been done that time because the partner company had called to confirm the order in advance Nevertheless, Okabayashi+ had insisted she hadn’t received the order, while the company representative insisted that she had At the end of the whole affair, it was never made clear as responsible

“She’s always been careless,” Hayarily “And when a probleoes and blames it all on other people” She dabbed at her watery eyes with her fingers and gave a loud sniffle

“Um―” said a ti there uncertainly “If you’re in a rush to make copies, there’s another copier in the Development departether in the s roo it at this hour I don’t think it’s locked, either”

As soon as Hayainal documents and made a mad dash for the second floor

“Does she need the?” Hirosue asked

Matsuoka nodded

“The president usually talks for the first fifteen et aith delivering the materials afterwards”

Hirosue peered at the materials that were already copied

“I’ back to the seventh floor How about I stop by the s rooe nuht?”

“But―”

“It’s just on the way Please don’t worry about it” Hirosue flashed hiathered about ten bundles of copied papers before leaving the copier rooe help But truthfully he was surprised that Hirosue seemed to be like this towards everyone Sure, they were fellow employees, but their departments were different and they barely knew each other It’s all unwanted hassle he could have avoided, Matsuoka thought, then caught hi kind to others seemed to come as second nature to Hirosue That was actually pretty a, in Matsuoka’s honest opinion

With Hirosue’s advice, they so But their moment of relief was cut short as Hayaer’s desk Her appeals fell on deaf ears, and the discussion see under the assuiven Okabayashi+ the instructions It was piteous to see Haya back tears

As for the root of all evil, she was still seated at her desk, looking at Hayauilt on her insolent face Matsuoka had been careful not to stick his head in disagreeirlfriend and all, but this time he wasn’t about to remain a simple bystander

Matsuoka got up froer’s desk

“Um, excuseMs Okabayashi+ to make copies”

An unpleasant ripple of hushed voices ran through the people around hi at him with a stunned face

“Is that true?” theforty-five this year, but his thinning hair made him look five years older

“Yes”

“He’s lying” Okabayashi+ stood up Her usually-rosy cheeks were deathly pale

“But I heard it”

“You’re lying! You weren’t here that time, Mr Matsuoka You were out on your rounds”

Matsuoka exhaled and hunched his shoulders

“Okay, I ht not have been here, but Hayama did actually tell you to make copies, then?”

Okabayashi+ finally seerave in front of everyone

“N―No, that’s not true!”

“What’s not true? You said so yourself ‘That time’ By ‘that tiht?”

Okabayashi+ curled up on the spot and burst into tears Frankly, it was annoying

“What’s crying going to do?” Matsuoka said coldly “You’re a full-grown adult Crying every ti What were thinking, anyway,other people clean up after your et in trouble instead of you?”

Okabayashi+, who had been sobbing loudly up until now, abruptly got up and ran out of the rooo after her

At eight in the evening, Matsuoka got aout of the shower It was from Hirosue

‘I just got ho a makunouchi bento from the convenience store’

‘I had a bowl of beef rice on the way home,’ Matsuoka said in his reply

He got anothertelevision

‘It o into a beef-rice shop by herself I ado sometie, which hinted at a rather woeful financial state Salaries were commission-based in the sales department, which ot In terms of salary, he enjoyed better conditions than other departments

“He’s honest to the point of stupidity, really,” Matsuoka muttered to himself

For an average woo to beef-rice shops at the end of theout of money was certainly not attractive But Hirosue didn’t see about himself like this Matsuoka was amused by his lack of superficial pride

‘Mr Hirosue, you did so nice today, didn’t you?’ Matsuoka wrote with an air of ot a reply immediately

‘What do younice?’

‘Try asking your heart,’ he replied

‘I don’t know,’ came the answer

Hirosue’s help with the copies had left an impression on Matsuoka, but theof it It was kind of adet so easily about what he did

‘That’s fine if you don’t know,’ he wrote, and got a question back in reply

‘Did you see me somewhere today, Ms Yoko?’

Matsuoka thought for a bit, then wrote back ‘It’s a secret’

‘No fair I wanted to see you, too’

Matsuoka inserted his cell phone in the charging dock and flopped down on his bed He absently wondered if it was high tito feel like it was time to move on

He wanted to become friends with Hirosue, but if he lost Yoko Eto, he would have tohow close they were already, it see their relationshi+p again frohed impatiently

How did it come to this, he wondered No doubt it was his own fault for not turning Hirosue down properly, and Matsuoka hated himself for it

Once October passed its halfway point, signs of autumn ell evident in the parks Matsuoka passed by on the way to a sales visit, or even in the trees lining the streets It was nearly two es with Hirosue as Yoko Eto

That day, Matsuoka didn’t get a single otten home from work He didn’t want to disturb Hirosue with a trivial e-mail if the man was busy, so he decided not to initiate a conversation

The next le e the previous day that he woke up at his first alarm, stayed still between the sheets, and waited for his cell phone to ring Although he did get his wake-up call at seven, Hirosue’s voice was listless

“You were quick today Were you already awake, by any chance? I’ll e-ht Bye, then…”

None of the playful word ga Now Matsuoka was positive that so was up with Hirosue, but he didn’t want to force anything out of the ht it up hi

At eight o’clock, Matsuoka finally got a e from Hirosue He opened it immediately, since it had been on his mind since yesterday

‘I want to see you’

That was all it said No matter how badly Hirosue wanted to see hiain So he wrote, ‘I can’t,’ then sent it

‘But I really want to see you,’ caain

Matsuoka found it strange that a h to know his li hiht to find out why theabout whether to meet him or not

‘Did so happen?’ he wrote

‘Are you watching me from somewhere, Ms Yoko?’ came the reply

Usually, Matsuoka found it weariso to other people vent, but this time it was different

‘If you want to talk about so, I’m here to listen,’ he wrote Hirosue was an exception If the man hadbad had happened to his would come later

It was a long tiot an answer One hour passed, then two Maybe it would end tonight without even a goodnight e-ht, it came

‘So, so I won’t talk about it I’ me talk about my company, about a place you don’t know, and it wouldn’t be very pleasant Please forget about ain I’d be thankful if could still continue to e-mail me,’he wrapped up neatly

The e- of all that Matsuoka had braced himself for He read it over and over until he realized soain,’ Hirosue had written It was as if he knew Matsuoka didn’t want to hear it from him Perhaps he had picked up the cues from their daily interactions

He felt guilty about what he was about to do to Hirosue, as already so unhappy he was begging to see Matsuoka But in Matsuoka’s opinion, this really meant the end for Yoko Eto Since he always acted like hi this fact: Hirosue was in love with Yoko Eto, not hi able to meet with an illusion

‘Let’s not e- I haven’t been telling you I’m in love with someone’

Matsuoka sent the e- to sever his connection with Hirosue Even if he had to start fro as he tried the best he could, he believed they would some day be able to talk honestly as friends

His phone rang not even five tone was that of his daily wake-up calls He ireat while, but ended up taking the call

“Sorry for calling so late This is Hirosue” He sounded extre up I won’t e-mail you anyured you were already in love with someone, to tell you the truth So I actually wasn’t very surprised when I read your e-mail”

Hirosue spoke in regular, detached manner

“I just wanted to tell you how I feel one last tih e-ht now”

Matsuoka sed hard as he held his cell phone Even if he kneas co, he felt nervous

“I love you” Hirosue let out a self-deprecating laugh after his confession “I’m sure you could already tell even before I told you so”

The silence wore on over the line Matsuoka could do nothing but wait for his next words

“I’ toup with me all this time Goodbye”

Even after his last words, the line did not go dead Unable to hang up himself, Matsuoka waited for the other’s response

“U up first?”

He hung up just as the man had asked The moment he felt their connection die, Matsuoka was filled with a loneliness that surprised hiht up parting ways in the first place, but there was no disguising his honest feelings

The next , Matsuoka arrived at the office and found out why Hirosue had been acting weird recently: it was posted on the common bulletin board on the first floor With the advent of internal e-mail networks, it was rare these days to see hu physically posted up like this, but this coed in this habit

“It’s like public sha,” a co-worker in Matsuoka’s cohort had once said That was because pro with demotions What had been posted today was clearly the latter

Re: Motofumi Hirosue of General Affairs

As of October 25, it has been announced that the above-mentioned will be seconded to Koishi+kawa Research Laboratory

Matsuoka read the text over and over Koishi+kawa Research Lab, like its name implied, was a department that mainly handled research and development Unless you had technical expertise, there wasn’tthere If a worker who joined the coeneral-duties track was sent to Koishi+kawa, he was in fact being relegated He would be cast off like a dead weight from one department to another in this manner until he was finally laid off

If I knew this was going to happen―Matsuoka regretted parting ith Hirosue yesterday Reeling from his de hie lie and said he was in love with someone else

He felt his heart wring painfully If he had known, he wouldn’t have told the man he would stop the e-mails, that he already loved soain once tohim would have made the man feel even a little better―

He thought he heard fukuda’s voice Matsuoka turned around fukuda was exchanging greetings with the women at the reception desk He crossed the entrance lobby, walking past the common bulletin board towards the elevators

“Morning,” Matsuoka said to hih and their eyes did nored

“Hey, fukuda”

Called by his name, the man finally stopped

“What? I’ht now”

fukuda was Matsuoka’s closest colleague a his cohorts, but his attitude was unusually cold today Soht in irritation as he clicked his tongue discreetly

“I want to talk to you about soht?”

“Yeah, I have plans this evening” He was promptly turned down

“Tomorrow, then”

“I have errands tomorrow, too I’uys seeh Lucky you”

Matsuoka didn’t knohere fukuda was getting the idea that Sales “took it easy” The ot on his nerves, and he responded waspishly

“So when are you free? Next month? Next year?”

fukuda gave hiht with you I actually don’t want to talk to you right now”

“What? What did I ever do to you?”

They hadn’t contacted each other for weeks and had barely exchanged any words Matsuoka couldn’t think of anything fukuda ry with him about

“You know, I like you, and I acknowledge you’re one of the better ones out of our hiring year But just because you’re good at your work, it doesn’t mean you can take it out on people below you, you knohat I mean?”

“Huh?” Matsuoka cocked his head

“That co-worker in your year? You lied to cover her ass, saying she did soirlfriend in front of everyone”

Matsuoka realized he was talking about Okabayashi+’s blao

“Youcopies?”

“Yeah You kno much crap you caused because of that? She was in tears, and she was talking about quitting and everything Apparently fro me, you’ve always been mean to her”

Matsuoka furrowed his brow deeply He had no time to interact with Okabayashi+, coldly or otherwise, when he was out of the office all day on sales visits Women like her, who could easily blauilt towards lying No doubt she had told her story to her boyfriend in a way that worked conveniently for her and made her seem innocent

In this case, strongly refuting what she said would only ainst him more That much was clear

Matsuoka dropped his gaze and looked at his feet

“I didn’t meant to act coldly towards her These days I’ve been out of the office a lot, so I haven’t talked to her ize I’m sorry”

At Matsuoka’s humble attitude, fukuda’s icy demeanour seemed to soften a little

“As long as you understand, man She can be sensitive, you know, so just be careful about that next time”

A woman who brazenly ensnared her co-worker didn’t exactly seem like the sensitive type, but Matsuoka carefully avoided that topic It was useless to say anything to a lasses of romance

“I’m really sorry”

“It’s fine”

By apologizing over and over, he alleviated fukuda’s distrust towards him Matsuoka looked at his watch They had less than five minutes until the work day started

“Say, I had so I needed to tell you It’s about Ms Okabayashi+, and it’s been on ht it would be a bad idea if you didn’t know…” Matsuoka trailed off pointedly, then looked at his watch “Oh, look at the time Tell you the rest later”

“H-Hey! Wait a minute!”

He could feel theafter him as he headed for the elevators