C1718 (1/2)

When I opened the notebook, a faint fragrance came. Ning Shiqian didn't expect Qin Ruolan to protect the diary so well. On the front page of the diary, there was a note. The faint fragrance was sent out from this note. Looking at the paper and handwriting, it should have been put in not long ago.

Ning Shiqian opened it in silence. Unexpectedly, it was a letter written to him by Qin Ruolan.

Shi Qian my son:

my mother doesn't know when you will see the envelope, but when you can see the letter, mother is no longer there.

I'm sorry that we mother and son should be able to talk in such a way. I'm also sorry that about the things you've always wanted to know, my mother has never told you, but my mother really doesn't know how to tell you those things. But if I don't say it now, I'm afraid your generation won't know the secret. Mom, tell you a story. One is very long My husband came back with a four-year-old child in his arms more than 20 years ago.

That day, my husband came back with a four-year-old child in his arms and said, ”this is my old friend's son. They passed away unexpectedly. Leave this child, and the child will live with us in the future.”

I asked which old friend it was, because I should know all of his old friends, but my husband kept his mouth shut and refused to say anything more. He only said that he would treat the child as if he were his own. In the future, the child would call us father and mother.

I'm more or less a response, such a child of unknown origin, but I can't ask more, how can I have no idea.

At that time, my own child was only two years old, and I suddenly had a four-year-old child. It was not that I couldn't afford it. However, my husband was obviously better at this child than his own son. Which doubt in my heart became more and more serious.

I have been pressing that question in the bottom of my heart, dare not think, dare not ask, because I am afraid the result is I can not afford.

But every time I see this child call my mother, my heart is always very uncomfortable, so I always forced to smile, the performance is very strange, not warm up.

There is a folk saying that the longer a child stays with us, the more he looks like him. I don't know if this child has stayed with us for a long time, and even looks like my husband more and more like him than my own son.

Others do not know, always think I gave birth to two sons, they are brothers, they say I am blessed, but only I know in my heart that the bitter taste of being eroded torments me day and night.

In fact, I have the answer in my heart, but I don't want to go deep into it. I don't want my family to fall apart. I don't want my husband to leave me. Therefore, I have been silently enduring and enduring, but the bearing capacity of human heart is limited.

I can cheat everyone, but I can't cheat my heart.

That conjecture and doubt has long been rooted in the bottom of my heart.

Finally, when my child was ten years old, I got up the courage to make an end for myself.