Chapter 898 - You are worth it (2/2)
Ellie can see the pain in his eyes, but she is hurting also. Doesn't that count? Will he go and pull some twisted revenge schemes whenever he feels like it? Does he know how he made her feel? The more she thought about it the more her expression twisted with anger.
”Do, what? I'm just repeating your words from last night. Does it sound worse when I say it? I should have just got out of the car. I don't know why I even tried explaining myself to you. Why do you care if I own EY or not? How is that impacting you? Sure, I didn't correct you whenever you assumed that I have a boss, but I never meant to hurt you. But you did. What you did last night was with an intention to hurt me. Instead of asking for an explanation, your impulse was to HURT ME! Did you enjoy your little revenge? Getting me fired up and leaving me hanging just to prove your point? You knew that I have trust issues, and that you are my first, and you still went ahead and did it. And for fuck's sake, it worked because I can still feel your touch and it's disgusting. Do you know how I feel? Dirty. Violated. Are you happy now? Is that what you wanted? Now GET OUT!”
Jasper's chin trembled for a second before he climbed on the bed swiftly and embraced Ellie tightly.
”What are you doing? I said… get out!” Ellie struggled. Unsuccessfully.
”No. Ellie, listen. Please, calm down and listen.”, he pleaded.
”Let go of me!” No matter how much she kicked, he is stronger. He blocked her movements with ease.
”No. I need you to listen first.” Jasper felt that she stopped struggling. ”Ellie, I made a mistake. A horrible mistake. I don't expect you to forgive me, at least not right now, but I'm begging you to give me another chance. If I leave now, both of us will regret it for the rest of our lives.”
Ellie turned her head away from him. She was angry at herself that even at a moment like this his hug and his warmth and his breath on her cheek… feel good. ”How do you know if I will regret it or not?”
”I know that you are hurting and that your heart wants to forgive me, but your brain is saying that you should not because I am a jerk. And you probably already dumped me in the same bin with every other jerk who came your way because you believe that if you forgive me, I will just hurt you again. You believe that if we keep our distance you will eventually forget about me or at least your heart will stop aching. But it will not get better, because what we have is not just some fling. If I leave, it will get worse, much worse… and in time our stubbornness will grow as well. And we will end up apart and stubborn and heartbroken and with wrong people who can't fill up the space which got created when we split up.”
Ellie can't deny what he said. Except for the future talk which she can't confirm, he is pretty much spot on. ”Jasper, I can't go through this again.”
Jasper felt that Ellie is giving in. At least a little bit. ”There won't be again. Because I can't go through it again either. It will take time to patch up things between us, but I'm ready to work on it. Because you are worth it. We are worth it. I promise that I will be patient and if I ever suspect that anything is wrong I will talk to you about it. And whatever you said that you still need to tell me, I will wait. On your terms. Because I know that you will not take advantage of my trust and that you have your reasons for not telling me things now… and I will respect those reasons. Just please, give me another chance. Don't push me away. I need you. Ellie, I need you. And I know that you need me too.”
Jasper released his hold slowly and looked at Ellie's face. Her eyes are closed and there is are two streams of tears, one on each cheek.
He gently wiped away her tears and continued talking: ”If there is such a thing as soulmates, you are mine. I've never felt this good just by being close to someone. When I met you, it didn't feel like I'm meeting someone new, it felt like I am having an overdue reunion with the person who is the most important in my life. And last night when I wanted to leave, my heart ached. I knew that you will be angry and that it's probably the best idea to keep my distance for some time, but I couldn't. I could not force myself to make one step outside that door because I love you. Ellie, I love you so much that it scares me. I desperately crave for your proximity and I am willing to do anything just to stay by your side.”
Jasper saw that she stopped resisting. Not just physically, but mentally as well. He sighed in relief with knowledge that his words reached her.
Ellie cried silently and he patiently kissed each of her tears away until there was no more left. And then he placed a gentle kiss on her lips, and she kissed him back.
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