Chapter 821 - Get out of self-pity mode (1) (1/2)

After a long crying session, Sarah and Aiden are on the bed.

They are lying in silence, facing each other, but both of them lowered their gazes in order to avoid their eyes to meet.

She can't make herself look at him. Everything is so fresh, and her emotions are unstable. But this works. Knowing that he is here, next to her, makes her feel better. Sarah hopes that in time these emotional scars heal, and they go back to how they used to be… crazy in love. Right now that feels so far away, almost unreachable.

Sarah told herself not to show her discomfort. She needs to bottle it up, because Aiden is… miserable.

Sarah knows that she is strong and that she loves him… after all, she can't imagine her life without him. And that means that she will get over it, there will be a day when she will not remember the events from previous night… Until then, she needs to show him that she is OK. Because only by showing that she is OK he will get out of his wretched state.

Aiden adjusted his position which caused mattress to dip, and Sarah groaned.

She cursed silently because that groan escaped her.

”I'm sorry.” That is the first thing that came out of him, like several times before. It seems that those are the only words left in his vocabulary.

”Shhh… don't.” Sarah is in pain, and yes, he hurt her… but she does not want to hear any more apologies. They don't help and she knows that he is sorry.

Aiden is miserable. He wants to hold Sarah tightly and to soothe all her pain, but whenever she moves even a bit he can see that she is hurting. Most of the time she does not make any sound, but he can see it by the way her fingers and toes twitch involuntarily. How can he hold her? ”I don't know what to do. Is there a way to fix this? Out of all the people, I ended up causing you pain. And you are the last person in the world I would want to hurt.”

”I know. You don't need to explain. There is no way to fix this... We can talk about it. That might help, at least emotionally… and the physical damage will heal in time.”

”How does that work?” Aiden is not used to talking about his feelings. Especially if it's something uncomfortable. He is used to resolving his own issues to the best of his abilities while keeping it to himself.

Sarah understands Aiden. He does not talk about his emotions often, that is one of the reasons why when he expresses his love for her with words she feels so overwhelmed. She is not much of an emotional talker either, but she will try.