788 I’m Sorry (2/2)
”There are many things, Charles, that are difficult to explain to you. I know some of these things are not ideal, but for the sake of the future, we have no choice. We have to sacrifice a generation in exchange for the prosperity of future generations.” He continued, ”Charles, this is a necessary pain.”
”It didn't have to be this way. If the people of the present aren't able to survive, then how is it meaningful for future generations to become prosperous?” Charles shook his head. He was confused and furious. He could not accept such a reply. ”Mr. Constantine, you once told me that you were going to create a new world, where the homeless would have a place of their own and many people would live happily ever after. Haven't we already succeeded? We already did what we were supposed to do, but why are things still so cruel?”
Gaius finally turned to look at him. There was a peaceful look on his face. He was old and frail, and there was a look of determination and compassion that Charles was all too familiar with.
”Charles, do you remember what I told you at Sacred City?” He continued, ”The pain will pass. All pain will pass. This world is not perfect, Charles. There will always be regrets. There will always be things that we can't change even if we really want to.”
Finally, he still said the cruelest sentence, ”I'm sorry, there is nothing I can do.”
All of a sudden, Charles seemed to be in a trance. It was as if he had just completed a long and difficult journey but could not reach the most important destination, so he could not help but feel tired, sad, and… disappointed.
”It shouldn't have been this way, Mr. Constantine, it really shouldn't.” He looked up with his remaining good eye and stared at Gaius. It was as if remnants of the glorious light of the past could still be seen in the good eye. It was like a flame. ”This is not the world that I wanted!”
Gaius was stunned.
”If there's nothing you can do, then let me. Sir, I can do it!” He leaned forward agitatedly and stood in front of Gaius. ”I still have one good eye and so much blood. I can give you miracles, Sir, no matter how many you want!”
Gaius did not say a word. He merely looked at him. After a very long time, Charles became less agitated and he hung his head weakly before returning to his seat. The sun had set and dusk came very quietly. The cries of wild beasts could be heard far away.
”It's too late, Charles. Go and rest. I should get going.” Gaius propped himself up from the bench with his staff. Finally, he put on his hat and bade farewell, ”I'm sorry. I did not consider your condition, and I said things that were inappropriate.”
”Hmm.” Charles forced out a smile and got up to send him off. He was taken by surprise when the old man stepped forward and embraced him. He was already so old that he needed a walking stick, yet his embrace was so tight that Charles felt suffocated. It was as if he was saying goodbye to his own son. It was so forceful.
”Er, Sir…” Charles was taken aback and did not know what to do.
”Sorry, Charles.” Gaius' voice was hoarse. ”I'm sorry.”
Charles did not know where to put his hands. He began to feel embarrassed. ”No, it's no problem. No problem. It's just a small argument… It's late. Sir, you should hurry back and rest, in case you have another meeting late in the night.” He patted Gaius' back. ”When I am fully recovered, I will go back and help you so that you won't have to work so hard.”
”Alright, goodbye.” Gaius took a step back and took one last look at Charles. Then, he turned around and left. ”Goodbye.”
…
After Gaius returned to the horse carriage, it sped off into the darkness silently. In the carriage, a man, who had been waiting, silently passed over a document. The man looked simple and frail. He did not look like a secretary, nor did he seem capable of taking up such a fast-paced job that demanded quick thinking. Neither did he fit the description of ”a man of great wisdom appears slow-witted.” He seemed purely slow-witted.
”This thing was left behind in the carriage,” the man said. ”It's a medical report. I think it should be yours.”
Gaius took over the file and shook it before laughing forcefully. ”Have you seen it?”
”No.” The old man shook his head.
Gaius caressed the cover of the file for some time before tossing it to the vacant seat on the side. There was a long silence.
”There is a tumor in my body. Over here.” He pointed at his right brain with his finger. ”It is growing with the nerves.” He continued, ”It started six years ago. I always thought it could be controlled. I thought I would be able to hang on for a longer time. Just a little longer will do.”
Silence. The old man seemed to be completely stunned. There were no reactions and there were no words of consolation.
”I'm running out of time, Abel.” Gaius hung his head tiredly as he closed his eyes. ”I'm dying.”
There was a long silence in the darkness. There was a soft gagging sound. ”Abel, please… kill him.”
…
The horse carriage stopped on snowy grounds in front of the palace. Gaius opened the door and proceeded to step off the carriage. His steps were not sturdy, so he stumbled a little. The guard wanted to give him a hand, only to be waved off and pushed away.
White snow landed on his shoulders. He bent down with difficulty and held onto his knees for support. He looked completely exhausted, as if he could no longer bear his own weight.
”I'm sorry.” He wrapped his coat tightly around his body but he was still trembling in the cold. He was muttering to himself, ”I'm sorry, Charles, I'm really sorry…”
Just like that, he vanished into the darkness, looking devastated. Outside of the tall walls, Paganini stood silently in the shadows. Snow fell on his face, covering those pair of dark eyes. He turned around to leave without a sound.