764 Understanding (1/2)
Ye Qingxuan felt as if he was still in a dream when he heard a familiar voice. It was his own voice that was speaking.
”Other than chest tightness and depression, is there anything else?” It seemed to be his own lips that were speaking. His tone was warm and gentle. He could not take it. For some reason, he suddenly thought, If I have always spoken in such a tone, I would probably have been a lot more popular?
He looked around him and found himself in a very clean and white room. There were no sharp corners and there was nothing too exciting or provocative about the bed or table, or even the colors and attire and decorations. It was peaceful and calm. It was almost like heaven.
In the corner was a clock that was hanging on the wall. Its design looked simple but its hands ticked by very smoothly. Ye Qingxuan could not help but imagine what its structure would look like, but no matter how hard he tried, he could not figure it out. Was this really something created by the engineering capabilities that they had right now?
Very soon, after hearing his question, the man that was lying on the bed began to ponder for a moment before answering, ”Occasionally, I will cry for no rhyme or reason. My temper is also getting worse.”
”Other than gastric problems, are there any other illnesses present in your family history?”
”My grandfather had cardiac disease but I don't,” the person replied then hesitated for a while before continuing, ”It was all thanks to modulation. You know, doctor, I'm not very…'natural'.”
”No problem. That's already very normal in our current times.”
Ye Qingxuan lowered his head and there was a clipboard full of notes in his hands. He was wearing a white outer robe, which looked extremely clean. He was wearing a dark blue shirt inside of the white robe. It was very comfortable, as if it was made from the best silk. As for the buttons, he could not even figure out if they were made from stone or metal. Some of them looked like they were made from amber, but amber should not be so light. Perhaps they were made from resin? For some weird reason, a noun appeared in his head: ”Plastic.” Plastic? What was that?
A string of thoughts kept appearing in his head. Plastic was a man-made macromolecule… But what was man-made macromolecule anyway? More and more complicated answers appeared in his head, as if he had always known these answers, yet they were certainly not his memories. Very soon, those obscure and complicated answers disappeared. The conversation between the two men also came to an end.
Ye Qingxuan closed the book in his hands and smiled to the patient. ”Don't worry. This is a typical space syndrome. Your gastric ulcers have triggered your depression. I will prescribe you some medication later. Take these medications on time and your condition will gradually improve. But the most important thing is your attitude towards life. You need to be a bit more positive. Do you have the habit of doing sports?”
”Is cricket counted as a sport?”
”Of course. As Asians, we seem to be pretty talented in cricket. I remember that there is a cricket club on the third floor of the public area. You can go and sign up for it. Doing sports can help your body secrete dopamine. Trust me, you will feel much better after exercise.”
”Thank you, doctor.” The man was grateful and got up to shake his hand. ”I will go.” With that, the patient left.
Ye Qingxuan was in a daze as he continued to observe everything, including how his body would move on its own, how his mouth would open and close on their own, how he would speak in an unbearably gentle tone and talk about things that he had never ever heard before.
Space syndrome? What kind of illness is that? Cricket? What sport is that? Asians? Where's Asia anyway? What's dopamine? And… who am I?
He watched himself complete the preparations for the case notes before pushing open a door and entering a room full of white tiles. There was a basin, a white toilet bowl, a bathtub, and a curtain printed with green flowers… Everything was unbelievably clean.
On the basin were all sorts of toiletries that he did not recognize. But strangely enough, he could differentiate between the dental floss from the facial mask from cologne… Cologne? Wait, perfume? Why would he need to use perfume?
But when he saw himself in the mirror, realization finally dawned on him. His face looked so familiar. He could see traces of himself and the vague outline of Ye Lanzhou but at the end of the day, he did not look like himself or his father. It was the person from his dream…
He washed his hands and face before wiping them dry with a towel. Ye Qingxuan noticed the card hanging in front of his chest. On the card were characters that spelled out his occupation and name: Psychologist, Ye Xuan.
Psychologist? Is that someone who cures others that are mentally or emotionally hurt? Sounds impressive. And, Ye Xuan… Who is Ye Xuan? Who is he? Why is he appearing in my dreams? And why am I appearing in his dreams?
In that instant, Ye Qingxuan suddenly understood everything at last. This was not him. He was just an invisible spirit in the body of this man, Ye Xuan, in this unknown place. In that case, what was this place? The World of the Dark? Had the World of the Dark been hiding a country like this all this while? The civilization and technology here seemed to be much more advanced than both the east and west. Simply unheard of!
But this time around, there were no more mysterious answers to his questions. He could only take his time and look around on his own.
Very soon, Ye Xuan left the toilet. He did not seem to realize that a spirit, by the name of Ye Qingxuan, was in his body. He returned to his seat and pressed the bell.
”Next, please.” The door began to knock three times, with regular intervals in between. Ye Qingxuan could almost imagine how rigid this person, that was knocking on the door, must be. But very soon, he was completely taken by surprise.
As the door was pushed open, a man with a stiff expression entered. His hair was brown and closely cropped. He seemed to be wearing a military uniform and his strides were regular and neat as they seemed to be carefully measured to millimeters. He sat opposite of Ye Xuan.
”Dr. Ye, I need your help.”
Ye Xuan was silent for a moment. Ye Qingxuan could sense the shock and confusion in his heart. At the same time, he had this nagging feeling that he had seen this visitor somewhere before.
”My apologies, Peter, er… Sir.” Ye Xuan grappled with his words then sighed softly. ”If you feel that you need help, you can look for Hermes. I'm afraid there's nothing much I can do to help you with your problem.”
Hermes? Hermes was here too?
Ye Qingxuan was taken by surprise, but he managed to console himself very quickly. It could just be a duplicated name.
There was a conscientious look on Peter's face. ”In fact, Dr. Ye, it was Hermes who recommended that I seek help from you.”
”…” Ye Xuan frowned. ”Mr. Peter, I don't specialize in mathematics and systems. Pardon me for being blunt, but if you feel that you are facing some problems, perhaps an engineer may be more suitable. I am a psychologist. Dealing with mental problems is my forte, but as for you, no offense, but your model far surpasses humans. Even if you have a soul, you will not develop the mental weaknesses or illnesses that humans can develop.”
”I'm not sure if I have a soul, doctor.” Peter's tone was calm, so much so that Ye Qingxuan could not decipher his expression and tell what he was feeling right now. Is this fellow… dead?
”As an autonomous simulation observer sent by the government, indeed, there is nothing wrong with the simulation module of my emotion. Based on the cases in the database, I am able to understand that you are confused and upset. Perhaps you may be thinking that someone is playing a joke on you. But I need you to be clear on this: it was with the help of Hermes and my own calculations from my records that I have chosen this course of action of seeking help from you. Will you listen to what I have to say?”
Ye Xuan was silent for a moment before taking in a deep breath and sitting up straight. ”If that's the case, please go ahead.”
”How should I go about trying to understand humans, Doctor?”
”What do you mean?” Ye Xuan was confused. ”Are you unable to understand the crews' reports or the captain's orders?”
”No, I have no problems with my functions and executions.” Peter continued to speak monotonously, ”The dilemma that I am facing with regards to my program is how I should understand the thoughts of humans. My empathy module allows me to simulate the emotions of men perfectly, even including those crazy emotions, I am able to depend on my model and case to understand them. But at the end of the day, I am still unable to truly interact with humans.”
Peter paused for a while then emphasized again, ”In human terms, I guess it's about achieving 'understanding'. How should I begin to understand humans? I can eat and sleep, and can even perfectly imitate the acts of excretion and reproduction, but ultimately, I am still different from humans. From a biological standpoint, I am more human than the crew members, where more than 97 percent of their bodies have been mechanized. Yet, I feel like there is a great distance between myself and humans. As a result, I feel that I am unable to complete my observation task properly.”
Ye Qingxuan was completely confused now. What… is this thing? Beneath the human appearance, what is he?
”Oh, my apologies, Peter. I think I know what you mean now but I am not able to give you an answer nor help you.” Ye Xuan thought for some time before giving a very straightforward answer, ”At the end of the day, we are still two completely different species. Humans and artificial intelligence will always be different in nature and even our mode of thinking. It's just like how meteorites can never exist too close to planets. I'm afraid you will never be able to think like a human.”