Part 11 (1/2)

'Me and My Girl,' said Richard, 'was the most successful British musical of its day It has only just been overtaken by Cats Cats'

Richard had one of those endearing habits, very coenerally, of describing everything and everyone he knew as being more or less the most important, successful and respected exanificant choreographer of his generation'; 'the top wine-merchant in Britain'; 'indisputably theIt is especially impossible for people like Richard not to have the best doctor in London, the finest dentist in Europe and, favourite of all and endlessly trotted out whenever soe, 'the best back man in the world' I was already wise to this trait in Richard so could not be quite sure how much of what he said about Me and My Girl Me and My Girl was true and how nature hyperbole and understandable filial pride For, in truth, I had not heard of theI knew 'The Lambeth Walk', naturally; it is one of the most famous tunes ever, an was true and how nature hyperbole and understandable filial pride For, in truth, I had not heard of theI knew 'The Lambeth Walk', naturally; it is one of the most famous tunes ever, an Ohrwurm Ohrwurm, as they say in Germany, an ear worm that once heard burrows its way into your brain and becoht it a folk song, based on soenerations It certainly never occurred to ht have been coanist

Noel Gay had sent his son Richard to Eton, froe In 1950 the young Richard Arency that was designed to enhance his father's Noel Gay song publishi+ng and production business by supplying singers to perform Noel Gay ot under way, Richard found hiraduate co comedy blades He soon had David Frost on his books, then John Cleese and others In the late seventies, in a wild, anarchic burst of originality, he looked ards and from Oxford he took on Rowan Atkinson and Howard Goodall By 1981 he was back at Cah Laurie, Paul Shearer, Tony Slattery and me

Now in his mid-fifties, Richard found hiinning of it all This was all very interesting, and I was touched that so about personal matters should favourof Noel Gay Artists I alternately nodded and shook my head in a manner that I hoped demonstrated how sensible I was of the honour he had accorded estures designed to indicate that I was ready for bath, bed and book

'So this brings ns, 'to my proposition'

'Proposition?'

Richard's hand scrabbled at the flaps of his old leather briefcase 'Take this'

He handed me a thick foolscap typescript Foolscap, for those under forty, was the English stationery paper size that preceded the now ubiquitous European A4 standard

I examined the sheaf Rust e, but the double-underlined title was plain enough 'Oh,' I said, 'Me and My Girl! Is this the original script?'

'As a matter of fact,' said Richard, 'it is the copy that ca edition, but what you are holding is, as far as I ainal text as performed in the Victoria Palace that there is in existence I'd like you to read it And then I would like you to consider rewriting it'

The French's acting edition of Me and My Girl Me and My Girl

I tottered upstairs and read the foolscap typescript in bed that night It was almost ier called Bill Snibson who turns out to be the rightful heir to an earldom That I could make out Bill arrives at Hareford Hall, the ancestral home, to take up his position and in a series of mysterious scenes is alternately seduced by an aristocratic vaht his family history and soaked for loans by his wastrel connections Throughout it all runs the thread of his atteirl of the title She is an honest cockney with a noble heart as, au fond au fond, is he

I describe it as almost impossible to understand and I call the scenes 'mysterious' because of the incomprehensible 'bus' that was appended to alue

BILL: What you talking about, girl? (bus) SALLY:Bill, you know very well! (bus) BILL: You co book) Here! Give me that! (bus) BILL: Oi! (bus) And so on Every now and then, throughout the script, there were blue pencilhand that read No! No! Absolutely not Rewrite Wholly unacceptable! Absolutely not Rewrite Wholly unacceptable! and other furious expressions of crazed disapprobation and other furious expressions of crazed disapprobation

At breakfast the next , Richard was keen to know my opinion

'Well,' I said 'It is quite a period piece '

'Exactly! Which is why it needs to be updated for an eighties audience'

'That cockney rhy stuff seems a bitwell, a bit old hat '

There had been a scene of several pages in which Bill laboriously took the fa

'Ah, but you see it was Me and My Girl Me and My Girl that first introduced the British theatre-going ,' said Richard 'Up until then, it had never strayed beyond the East End' that first introduced the British theatre-going ,' said Richard 'Up until then, it had never strayed beyond the East End'

'Ah, right I see But tell inal producer really hate the script?'

'What do you mean?'

'All those comments ”Unacceptable”, ”cut this” and so on What were they about?'

'I told you,' said Richard 'This was the Lord Chamberlain's copy'

My blank expression revealed the unpardonable depths of norance

'Until 1968 all plays performed in London had to be licensed by the Lord Chamberlain'

'Oh, so he was the censor?'

'Effectively The copy you have shows the cuts he, or rather his office, insisted upon in order to grant Me and My Girl Me and My Girl its licence in 1937 You will notice they blue-pencil words like ”cissy”' its licence in 1937 You will notice they blue-pencil words like ”cissy”'

'Literally blue-pencil'

'Quite so But what did you make of the script otherwise?'

'Gosh, it's tremendous butwellI have to say I don't quite understand what the bus is doing there'

'The bus?'

'I thought perhaps it was like the old word for to kiss, you know, to buss? But they can't keep kissing each other all the time And besides there's often a bus in scenes between two male characters'

Richard looked very puzzled for a h always started with a whipcrack 'ha!' and then finished with a noise between his teeth that was half-way between the American 'sheesh!+' and an attenuated, falsetto 'siss!'

I had passed the typescript over to Lorraine Haer down at a 'bus' 'There!' I said 'Do you understand it?'

'Well,' said Lorraine 'I'm not quite sureit does seem rather odd Perhapsmm, no, I can't think '

Richard looked fro amusement 'Business, you imbeciles!'

'Sorry?'

'Bus is short for business'

I am not sure that we looked any the wiser

'Bill was played by Lupino Lane Lupino Lane was from a music-hall dynasty He was the finest physical coe part of his success came from the remarkable knockabout routines he devised His business with the cloak in Me and My Girl Me and My Girl becae' becae'

Well, I shan't take you through every twist and turn of the story of how Noel Gay's musical came to be reworked for the 1980s Richard, who acted as producer, secured Mike Ockrent to direct and as a co-producer he brought in David Aukin, who ran the Theatre Royal, Leicester, where the shoas to beit into the West End There was talk of Robert Lindsay for the lead role of Bill and Leslie Ash for Sally Meanwhile it was up to me to rewrite the script from that Lord Chamberlain's copy

'By the way,' Richard had said 'Do feel free to add any of ht fit'