273 The last straw (2/2)

Sweet, I know you don't want to see me again, but you deserve to know what happened and what made me act the way I did. I'm not trying to justify my actions; I'm just trying to give you a reason to stop hurting.

You met someone, Freya? That is not her real name, her real name is Eva and we dated in the past, before I met you. When we broke up, she was hurt, so she used that man whom she called her husband to tear us apart, to get back at me.

She took photos of you both together and sent it to me, and without thinking I judged you.

Although I had asked you where you went to that day and you lied to me, it doesn't give me enough reason to have treated you so harshly.

When you asked me if I ever loved you, I lied. There was not a single second I spent not loving you.

Sweet, I want you to know that I still love you no matter what. I'm sorry, I really am.

I've hurt you so much that I'm ashamed of myself. I'm ashamed of the man I see in the mirror every morning. I'll accept whatever fate brings to me, I deserve whatever punishment I'm getting.

If you are seeing this, that means you read to this point, and I'm grateful. Thank you, Sweet for coming into my life; thank you for making me a better person, I'll spend the rest of my life cherishing the moments we spent together. I love you.

Jin Yue

Jin Yue did not realize he was crying until he finished writing. He bowed his head over the table for a few seconds, getting his mind together. He had just written that he was not going to appear in front of her again, was that possible? Could he really live without seeing her?

Jin Yue imagined her seeing someone else, getting married, having a baby and his chest squeezed so hard that he lifted his hand to press on it. It hurt.

He had always wanted her to be happy but he had never imagined that one day her happiness would not involve him. It really hurt.

Jin Yue did not know how long he cried but when he was satisfied, he folded the letter and put it into a brown envelope. Opening his drawer, he took out those pictures and placed them inside the envelope.

He really wished that she would forgive him after seeing the letter. When he hadn't found her, he was still uncertain of what his fate would be. When he found her, he didn't want to accept that it was over because she did not know the truth yet, but after giving her that letter, anything that happened next was the last. It was the endpoint. It was either she came back to him or she bade him farewell forever.

Jin Yue's heart beat rapidly as he stared at the envelope in his hands. After giving her that letter, there would be no reason to look for her anymore. He wouldn't have a reason to wait outside her home wanting to catch a glimpse of her face; he wouldn't have a reason to follow her wherever she went.

Jin Yue bit down on his lower lip as tears clouded his eyes.