Chapter 185 - Forgiveness and starting over (1/2)
”What are you thinking about?”
Caspar suddenly appeared behind Finland, who wasn't paying attention because she was preoccupied with so many problems. The girl gasped and held her chest in shock.
”Gosh... don't sneak up on me like that... You startled me,” she grumbled.
”It was not my intention to sneak up on you, but you were too absorbed in your thinking, you didn't hear me coming,” Caspar said in his defense. ”What is troubling your mind?”
”You must know...” Finland sighed. ”Before all this trouble is over, I can't calm down.”
”Me too.” Caspar hugged Finland from behind and buried his head in her hair. ”I'm scared to death if anything happens to Aleksis...”
Finland was surprised when she felt some dampness on her hair – was Caspar crying? She touched Caspar's hands on her waist and tried to calm the man down. She did not expect that behind his calm appearance, Caspar was actually very worried about the whole situation.
”If Lauriel and his crew fails... I will go to Katia and Alexei and kneel before them so they will spare Aleksis' life...” Finland whispered. ”I'm willing to replace her and drink their poison.”
”No, Honey. They don't want you, but me. If all else fails, I will come to them and grant Katia's wish. If Katia really wants to see me take Death, I will. Living forever means nothing to me without you nor Aleksis. If that should happen, we will age together and spend the rest of our lives as commoners...” Caspar said firmly.
Finland was stunned to hear Caspar's statement. She turned around and looked deep into his eyes. She never thought about this possibility. Katia wanted to get revenge by forcing Caspar to take Death... The intention was to make Caspar leave the world of immortalities and become a regular human being. His body would no longer be as special as the body of an Alchemist. He would no longer be able to live forever.
At the same time Alexei would have his wish granted. If Caspar were no longer an Alchemist, he would have no right to lead the clan. In the absence of Aldebar to replace Caspar, the clan members would be forced to choose a new leader.
Lauriel would certainly not accept the position because he had long wanted to resign from worldly affairs. Therefore, Alexei would be the strongest candidate because he had the support of many purists, including Ned and Portia, and their highly influential families.
Of course, this was not a bad choice, as long as Caspar and Finland could be together. Katia's original plan was to make Caspar so heartbroken after seeing the girl he loved marry Lauriel, forcing him to take Death. Katia would not have taken into account that Caspar would voluntarily take Death to be able to live with Finland until they grow old and grey. Finland was still a commoner after all, and nothing would change in her life.
Finland was not sure if Caspar was mentally ready to leave his life as an Alchemist and live like Finland. He would grow old, get sick, and eventually die like everyone else. The man didn't even know what it was like to live as an ordinary person! Finland was afraid that Caspar would become depressed if that were to happen...
She thought about Lauriel, who was ready to take the potion of death two years ago, because he was bored of life. Now his passion for life returned only because he considered Aleksis as his goddaughter.
Certainly, it would be very difficult, especially for Caspar, who has a biological child, to accept Death, because Finland knew that he always hoped to live a long life, forever with his children...
Finland really wished that there was no need for Caspar to take Death.
”Let's hope that Lauriel and his crew will succeed so that neither you nor I have to face Katia and Alexei in person...” the girl said quietly. She blinked, holding back hear tears from dripping. If Caspar was currently very worried, she should hold her emotions and not be frantic. One of them must remain strong for the sake of their family.
Finland turned, kissed Caspar and wiped his teary eyes.
”Where is Aleksis?” she asked him to distract their attention from their problem.
”Hmm... she's drawing with Kara,” Caspar answered in a hoarse voice. ”We brought lots of leaves and worms from outside to be her models...”
”Ah... she always has a thing for worms,” commented Finland. ”You should see how many worms we raised in the farm in Colorado because of her...”
”Is that true?” Caspar shook his head at this. Finland then told the various small animals that have been 'adopted' by Aleksis when they were on Lauriel's farm.
”I have a lot of photos to show you...” Finland pulled Caspar's hand and invited him to sit on the sofa as she pulled out her laptop. ”You can see pictures of Aleksis since she was a baby...”
She opened a folder on her laptop and showed hundreds of photos and videos of Aleksis taken since the little girl was a baby until her second birthday in Brazil. Caspar looked at one photo after the other almost without moving. His eyes were filled with tears again.
It was not fair; he lost so many moments with his daughter, because Finland one-sidedly decided to leave him. He was not there when Aleksis was born, he did not see her first walk, he did not hear her first word, and he was not there to celebrate her first and second birthday.
If they had not met in Singapore a few days ago, he would miss more of his daughter's life, and his heart would still be broken, thinking Aleksis was Lauriel's daughter.
This thought makes his heart ache. He understood why Finland had taken that decision, but that did not mean that the pain became any less. Now, to imagine that he would lose his only child to the poison given by Katia, he was even more depressed. Had they not separated, those two devils would never have been able to touch Aleksis.