Vol 1 Chapter 8 (1/2)

「Return: Chapter 8

The project progressed smoothly and before I knew it, it was completed As usual, shi+rai kept an eye on me and invited me out often on our days off froain touched rasped my hand at the movie theater

“I’m happy to just spend time with you”

I wasn’t as childish as to take his word for it, but even then, I still couldn’t help but continue going out with hiiven me a salary reduction ever since I had committed the mistake that day He had cut my salary, because it seemed that it had cost quite a lot to restore the system This, I had found out from a project team member

“Really, he’s a capableof no complaints, he said with admiration, but when he found out I felt responsible he looked openly flustered “I’m sorry, I don’t blame ya at all, shi+uy……”

“I know, but I think it’s natural that I’m to blame,” when I said that, he looked more and more sorry

“I’m sorry I really a to ya about it, means he doesn’t want ya to feel responsible, ya know?”

He backed hi more sorry than ever I decided to visit with shi+rai after work

“I’m happy you called me out,” shi+rai said just as happily as he had been when he had accepted o to the kissaten, but when I mentioned my salary reduction……

“Oh,” he said and shrugged his shoulders, looking openly disappointed

“You can gain back theto worry about”

“But……” I can’t help being worried, I argued

However, he gave a lopsided smile and said, “I kno you feel, but I really don’t want you to be worried about it It’s nothing personal I would give a salary reduction to any of my subordinates who make a ainst the, but of course, I couldn’t say, ‘I see,’ and give hiuilty” The more shi+rai talked, thehonest, but it still bothered , I knew the answer But I didn’t have the willpower to do it Honestly, I didn’t knohat to do I didn’t dislike shi+rai at all I respected him and liked his character However, I didn’t have any ‘ros towards hirasped usted, but I had been at a loss of what to do

It had felt overly wrong to hold shi+rai’s hands I couldn’t i him And ould come after that was even more unthinkable But it seemed that shi+rai definitely desired to hold hands with me, kiss s I had made that clear to him, hadn’t I?

He always took control over our conversations, so it seemed that he still hadn’t clearly understood that I had rejected him Before I could tell him exactly how I feel about him, shi+rai always interrupted me and would not let me finish

Here I go, blausted with myself

Even though he interrupts me when I try to tell him that I reject hi if I truly want to refuse hi but trouble at work and ere alone out of work, but he had always done so much for ot a salary reduction as well because ofto worry about’ was because he still thought he was responsible that I had committed the mistake that day That’s what it seemed like to me, and I felt more and more at a loss of what to do

As we talked, shi+rai invited olf tourna up, and shi+rai kneas a beginner, so he suggested we practice on the weekend Actually, I wanted to practice but hesitated in accepting his invitation for a inners shi+rai was only inviting me

But shi+rai said, “I don’t have any ulterior ht, since I’ll take you back to your place by dusk,” so I couldn’t refuse shi+rai was good at teaching, so I could play golf for the first time in my life and think it was fun “You have a natural talent for it, so you’ll becoood in no time,” shi+rai praised me

After we played and had a lightme back to my home just as he said he would The previous day, I had worked overtime and had stayed at the office until quite late, so I was desperately trying to fight off fatigue as we drove back tome around in his

I obviously couldn’t fall asleep while having my boss drive me around

I thought I was holding out, but before I knew it, I had fallen asleep

When I aith a start, I saw that ere driving through the neighborhood where shi+rai lived

“I- I’ had I been asleep?

“No, youto worry about,” shi+rai laughed

“Yes,” I said, re

“If you’d like, you can come inside? We could have dinner, but I only have pre-made food”

“No…that’s okay……”

I declined, but shi+rai insisted, “I know it’s not the best, but it would be troublesome to prepare dinner noouldn’t it?”

It see asleep on our way back, so I ended up accepting shi+rai’s invitation He had said that he only had ‘pre-made food’, but various dishes he had purchased from the mall lay on top of the table It seemed as if he had expected that he would invite ht them

“I know I didn’t take you to your holass of wine?” he askednized the label It was the wine I had referred to as ‘delicious’ soo at the restaurant I had taken an extraordinary liking to its refreshi+ng taste It see that

“………”

I really don’t knohat to do anyhtfully talked about various things He talked energetically about how delicious thehimself, and I felt like he drank faster than usual

It’s not like I was being lured into this, but I also drank too much By the time I realized this, we had already emptied the second bottle of wine

“I’lad we have a day off tomorrow”

As I said this, shi+rai uncorked a third bottle and said, let’s drink a little rated fro rooe screen TV together

“This is kind of nice, isn’t it?”

shi+raiat me, perhaps considerably drunk

“………”

His‘I like you’

I couldn’t reply nor look away, precisely because I knew that I just gazed back at shi+rai

“Can I……breakfor my knee

My hand was resting on my knee

“………”

When I didn’t answer hirasped my hand I almost jumped but controlledhi to shake hier, he would s more and more

He’ll ht? I asked myself

If I didn’t shake off his hand, shi+rai would think that I was accepting his feelings, but would that really be a ‘’?

Up until now, he had done many favors for me

Up until now, he had shown

Then it was about tiht?

I thought that using the word ‘should’ was proof that I was forcing s didn’t seeht choice to me That is what I believed

Surely, I will never see hiain – that man who had called himself ‘Suzuki’ It was very rude to say that shi+rai was his replaces of longing for Suzuki now, since I would never seen hiain On the other hand, shi+rai had sacrificed sohis existence was the right path to take was not so to decide on a whim Nevertheless, I felt like I should rejoice that there was someone as okay with -nothing-but-faults person like me

That ‘should’ again, I sighed as the word popped into rasped rip

“……If……if you can’t accept s, then pull your hand away Don’t hold back,” shi+rai said hoarsely, still passionately gazing at me

“………Um………”

If I didn’t pull away, he would think I was accepting, right?

He had been very clear with his words, so noas at a loss of what to do……

Then, I made up my mind

“shi+mizu-kun……!”

I can’t believe it – hat shi+rai’s voice and facial expression read The reason for this was because the action I had taken surprised hily chosen to return his grasp in the end

“Is this okay?” shi+rai asked in a hollow voice and peered into my eyes

“………Yes……” I only said one word, but I sounded terribly hoarse

“……Thank you……” He thankedhis facial expression, and I returned his grasp, squeezing his hand harder but then he suddenly pulled his hand away

“Ah……!”

He pulled me to his chest, and I inadvertently exclaimed, because I almost spilled my wine