Part 33 (1/2)

Thepuppyletsout a lol ofindignationandI stickut

Stepping down into the stench of the tere-tiled hallway

The Greyhound clock reads 4:33 as I stand for a s My adrenaline coround between my feet and peel off my sweatshi+rt The huwith thestenchof commuter sweat

I walk hurriedly up to the street level to find a cab, past closed bakeries and newsstands Outside the EighthAvenue exit hookers and cab drivers await their next jobs while I let the puppy out on her string leashtopeeby asweatinggarbagecan

”Whereto?” thecabbieasksasI slideinbehind down theI root around in the plastic bags for my wallet andherbrown furry headpushesits wayout ofthetote,panting ”Nearlythere,little oneWe'll betheresoon”

”Bethune?”heasks ”I thoughtyousaidUpperEast”

”Yeah, I'm sorry Ninety-third,” I clarifyAs I open my wallet Mrs X's check flutters to the floor of the cab ”damn”I bendover toretrieveitinthedarkness

”Paytotheorderof:NannyFive hundreddollars”

Five hundreddollars Five hundreddollars?

Ten days Sixteen hours a day Twelve dollars an hour So, that's like sixteen hundred dollars o, eighteenhundred o,nineteenhundred!

FIVE HUNDREDDOLLARS!

”Wait, makethatseventwenty-one Park”

”Okay,lady”He”

You havenoidea

I unlock the Xes' front door and carefully push it open The apartment is dark and silent I put the tote down and the puppy wriggles out of it as I drop the rest of s on the marble floor ”Pee anywhere”

I reachforthedi thecenter tablein a tautcircle of lightThespotlahthecut-crystal bowl

I leanforward and rest s Even now, even as it's gotten this out of hand, I's of the Xes Andreally,itstrikesme,isn't thatthepoint?

I pullbacktoseethetwoperfectpal determinedly from roo their hohtonhowI couldhaveworkedsohardandbeenhatedsomuch

I openthedoortotheoffice

MariahasstackedMrs X'smailcarefully onherdeskjustthe way she likes it ?envelopes, catalogs, and h theesofhercalender

anicure Pedicure shi+atsuDecorator Lunch?

”Vicepresidentinchargeofbullshi+t,” I mutter

onday10amInterview: NanniesAreUs?

Interview? I flipquicklybackthroughthelastweeks

ay28:InterviewRosario June2:InterviewInge June8: InterviewMalong?

They start the day after I said I couldn't raduation My inofthatafternoon

emember call problem consultant tomorrow N behavior is unacceptable Co poor care Has no respect for professional boundaries Is taking co as if I've been punched in the solar plexusAn i resting by her feet under the stall partition in the bathroosnaps

I head to Grayer's room, throw the door open, and see it immediately ?the stuffed bear that arrived on Grayer's shelfafterValentine's Daywithoutexplanation

I pull it down, flip it around, and pull the back panel off to reveal a small videotape and control buttons

I rewindthetapewhile thepuppyracesacrosstheroomandintoGrayer's closet

I press recordandplacethebearon topof Grayer's dresser,shi+ftingit arounduntil I thinkI've setupthe shot

”I'm completely self-centered?Mybehaviorisunacceptable?” I shoutatthebear

I take a deep breath, trying to channel ain ”Five hundred dollars What is that to you, a pair of shoes?A half day at Bliss? A flower arrangehtbe alittle cohtdays of unated, torturoushell, youpaidme threedollarsanhour! So, beforeyouwrapup a year of mylife to be trottedout as an anecdote at the next museum benefit, keep in , a eof you?”

”You have No idea What I do For you” I pace back and forth in front of the bear, trying to formulate ninee

”Okaylisten up If I say 'Two days a week,' your responseshouldbe 'Okay, two days a week'If I say, 'I have to leave by three for class' This means, wherever you are ll those important , so thatI can leave ot after dinner,not the next day, but at three o'clock, pronto I say 'Sure, I can fix him a snack' This means five minutes in your Goddamn kitchen This , sauteing, or anything at all to do with a souffle You said 'We'll pay you on Fridays' Now listen, genius, this means every one ast time I checkedyouwerenotCaesar,uleWeek”

NowI a thedoor inyourchild's face:not okay Lockingthedoor to keep your son out e're all ho for 'private ti to a spa when your son has an ear infection and fever of one hundred and four? News flash; this officially makes you, not just a bad person, but like, officially, a terrible mother I don't know, I haven't birthed anyone, so Iall over thefurniturelike a senilefuckingdog ht, oh, you know, just on a whiht a week And, just a heads-up here, people hate you The housekeeper hates you he ht-kill-you-in-your!sleep kindof hatesyou”