Part 25 (1/2)
What would she possibly be hoping for? A little fa to thrash it out over the hookedrug? Beateach other senseless with canoe paddles? Put Ms Chicago up in the guest house? Ms Chicago?
”fuck!” I leap up, patting myself down ”fuck fuck fuck” I have keys, I have coffee, I have a wallet ”I have no rucking envelope” I jerk in about five different directions as I run through the last two hours and the multitude of places I could've left it I sprint back to the coffee place, the orange couch, Dr Clarkson's andsweaty,infrontofthecootta clear out or for real we're gonna have to call security” Dylan tries to sound authoritative
I can't speakI'irl whostoleeighthundreddollars and apair ofdirty underwear I'm afelonand afreak
”Dude, I et out of here Bob's on the noon shi+ft and he's not nearly as cool as himtoDarwin's birthdayparty
”STOP IT! I DON'T LIKE THAT!” Grayer screams, his face flattened into the metal rails that line the upperdeckoftheboat
I crouch down to whisper in his assailant's ear ”Darwin, if you do not step away froto throw you overboard” Darwin turns in shock toface Good Witch/Bad Witch on three hoursof sleepandouteighthundreddollars; kid, youdon't wanttomess withme today
He falters a fewfeet back and Grayer, a red iainst the pipe, wraps hi Grayer has only been the focus of Darwin's torture for the past fewthe ranks of fifty other terrorized birthday-party guests, held prisoner for thelasttwohoursontheCircleLine JazzfestCruise
”Darwin! Honey, it's almost time for your cake Go on over to the table so Silides over to us in her Gucci ballet flats and old and, coupled with herin the afternoonsun?
”Well, Grayer, what's the matter? Don't you want cake?” She tosses her three-hundred-dollar highlights in Grayer's direction and leans against the rail beside me I'm far too tired for ss Gup ontomyhip andout of harm's way, so hecan lookover my shoulderintothewhite-crested wakebehindus
”Si it for ether to top last year's overnight at Gracie Mansion,but I just said 'Now, Sito ourfaotoit!'And I tell you, shehas reallydoneit” Screaefrom thesternof the boat and Sima races past us, panic-stricken Darwin follows closely behind, lunging out after her with aflahter
”Darwin,” Mrs Zuckerhtly, ”I said to help Sihter fro the top down She hands it sternly to a red-faced Sima ”See that he doesn't run around with this next tiift fro silver box, without lifting her eyes She takes Darwin's hand and pulls him delicately backtohis cake
Mrs Zucker ”I'm so lucky, really We're like sisters” I sards to Grayer's reat d-i-v-o-r-c-e lawyer for her He got my friendAlice ten percentaboveher prenup”
I instinctively putmyhandonGrayer's head
”Well, you two have fun!” She tosses her hair to the other shoulder and walks back to the cake uess Mr X's residenceattheYale Clubhasbecoe
”So, Grove, ready for sohten his tie and touch his cheek wherethepipeilassy andhe's clearly asexhaustedas1 aood,”hen
”What kind of hurt?” I ask, atte to define the nuances of motion sickness versus heartburn to a four-year-old
”Nanny, I? Heforward to throw up I e so that the Hudson can receive the thrust of his vo with only about athird
I rub his back ”Grover, it's been a very long day” I wipe his reethefrontofhis pantsandbouncingonhis NikesintheXes'vestibule
”Grove, please just hold it one ive the front door a last shove and it finally gives way ”There Go!” Herunspastme
”Oof!” I hear a thud I push the door farther open and see Grayer sprawled on a pile of beach towels, felledby aTracyTookerbox
”G,youokay?”
”Thatwassocool,Nanny Man,youshouldhaveseenit Standthere,I'ain”
”Yeah, no” I squat down to take off his sneakers and pull off his pukey windbreaker ”Next tierly tiptoe over the hatbox, the pile of towels, two Lilly Pulitzer shoppingbags, three L L Beanboxes, and a bagof charcoalbriquettes Well, we're either goingtoNantucket,ortotheburbs
”Nanny? Is that you?” I look over and see that the dining room table is cosof his thatConnieandI hadn't packedup
”Yes We justgothos outoftheway
”Oh”Mrs Xcoanarmful of pastelcashhtly ”Grayerhad a bitof anaccident?
”I really wish you'd keep better track of what he eats at those parties How is Mrs Zuckerards?
”She's so creative She always throws the best birthdays” She stares atformetoreenacttheafternoon,complete with sockpuppetsandcommedia dell arte I am justtootired
”She,um,wantedtopasson a referral” ”Yes?”
I take a deepbreath, bracingoodlawyer”I lookdown at Mr X's clothes
”Nanny,” she says icily, ”these are my husband's clothes for the trip” She turns away from me and her voice beco myself, yet No one can tell me what the weather will be like Some of our friends broiled, some nearly froze” She drops the sweaters onto the table,sendingseveral balled-up tennissocksrollingontothefloor ”Maria!”
THE NANNY DIARIES ”Yes, door tothe kitchen ”Canyoufoldthese?” ”Yes, ht away” She ducks back in the kitchen ”I don't want to overpack, but I also don't want to have to do laundry while I'm there and I have no idea if they even have a decent dry cleaner on theislandAlso, thatrehtAM?
”Is that Friday?” I ask She looks up at me ”I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt you, it's just that the fifteenthisthedayofht?
”Well, I don't think we can delay our departure on your account,” she says, walking to the bags in the fronthall
”No, the thing is, , so I really can't leave until Saturday”I followher
”Well, therentalstartsonFriday,sowe can't leaveonSaturday,”shesays,asifexplainingtoGrayer
”No,I understandthat I'm sureI couldtake a busuponSaturday I'd probablybetherebyfiveorso”
I follow her back to the dining roos to the stockpile ”So what you're basically tellingme isthat,ofthefourteendays we needyou, youwill notbe available fortwoof them I don't know, Nanny I just don't know We're invited to the Blewers' for dinner on Friday and the PiersonbarbecueonSaturdayI justdon't know?Shesighs ”I'll havetothinkaboutthis”
”I' else But I reallycan't raduation”I benddowntopick up theerrantsocks
”I supposenotWell, letraduation?
”Okay, also, I wanted to ask you about getting paid, becausemy rent is due this week?And you haven't paidhthundreddollars