Part 8 (1/2)
fuck
I sitdownontheleathercouchandslump myfaceinmyhands
I don't wanttoknowthisI don't wanttoknowthisI don't wanttoknowthis
I grab ashooterfromthedesertedtrayof chilledvodkashotsonthecoffeetableanddownit
Thankfully, withinup the FDR and Grayer has completely passed out with his headinetout,but, hey, ere all adequatelywarned
Mr X leanshi+s headback againsttheleatherupholstery andcloses his eyes I crackthe aninch to let some fresh air blow over me from theEast River I am a little drunkYeah, I'round,I hearthetentative chatter ofMrs X ”I wastalkingtoRyan's iate is one of the top schools in the country I' to call tomorrow and set up an interview forGrayer Oh,andshetold a houseinNantucketthissu-ton and Susan have summered there for the last four years and Sally says it's a delightfulbreak froet awayfrom theMaidstone every once in a while, so the children can experience some diversity And Caroline Horner has a house up there Sally saidBen's brotherisgoingtoParis thissummer, soyoucouldtakehis membershi+p attheirtennisclubAndNannycouldcome, too!Wouldn't youliketo joinusfor a feeeksontheoceanthis su”
Myearsperkup atthesoundofated enthusias it on!” I say, trying to give a purple thuine me, the ocean, my Harvard Hottie ”Naaantucket winmeup” Beneath my half-closed eyes I see her look atMr X
”Well, then” She pulls herby outside the”Thatsettles it I'll calltherealtortomorrow”
A half hour later my cab whizzes back down the FDR in the opposite direction toward Houston Street as I checkfor tracesof greasepaintin lance atthecabbie's clock andtheglowinggreenlettersreadback10:24Go,Go,Go
My heart starts to race and the adrenaline sharpens my senses considerably; I feel the buaretteTheco, the numerous drinks I have consumed, the leather pants I'm poured into, and the promise of a potential hookup with Harvard Hottie all add up to a lot of pressure I am, in no uncertain terms, on a mission Whatever reservations I had, political, moral, or otherwise, have melted past my lace underwear and intomyPradashoes
The cab pulls up at Thirteenth Street, on a particularly seedy stretch of SecondAvenue, and I toss the driver twelve bucks and jog inside Nightingale's is one of those places I vowed never to set foot in again after I graduated froh school The beer's served in plastic cups, drunk e,and,ifyoudomakeit,thedoordoesn't close It istheproverbialshi+t Hole
It takes all of two secondsfor myheadaroundand seethatthereis noHarvard Hottie tobe foundThinkThinkTheywere goingtostartatChaos ”Taxi!”
I leap out on the corner of West Broadway and take my place on line behind a clump of people who have actually come here voluntarily I'irls, while afrustrated throngofguys trytotakeononeofthebouncers
”Let's seesoht bouncer a juice box, HotWheels, and HandiWipes, before uncoveringmywallet
”That'll be twenty bucks” Fine Fine! I throw him two hours in a Teletubbies outfit and make my way up a darkened staircase lined with inappropriate black-and-white photographs of naked women with trumpet lilies The bass beat from the houseby the bump-ba-bump it reminds me of the old cartoons where Toht out of hisfor?what? Brown hair, a HarvardT-shi+rt? The crowd is a uys hebalding, hth Street It's not an attractive crowd The strobein front of lyperson
I trytomakemywayonto thedancefloor,forwhich I pay a price Not onlyis thecrowd unattractive, it is supremelyuncoordinatedButenthusiastic Uncoordinatedandenthusiastic, a lethalco li an efforttostayinmotion ou're only vulnerable to ”unwelcome advances” if you stand still or, heaven forbid, dance, in which case you areguaranteedtohaveanunfaainstyour asswithin seconds
”Martini, straightup, noolive” I need a littlepick-ebackon
”Martinis? Pretty hard stuff, don't you think?” Oh, outwith his collegefriendstonight ”Isthatgood?You likethat?”
”WHAT?I CAN'THEARYOU!” I over his whitehatfor H H inthecrowd
”MARTINIS! HARDSTUFF!!” Right
”SORRY! NOT A WORD!” I don't see hi to have to remind Hard Martini over hereaboutDorrian's
”HARD!!!” Sure,big guy Whateveryousay
”LISTEN,WEMETAT DORRIAN'S'M LOOKINGFORYOURFRIEND!”
”RIGHT,THENAAAANNNEEEEHHH”Yep, that's me
”IS HEHERE?” I shout
”THENANNNEEEHHH”
”YEAH,I'M LOOKINGFORYOURFRIEND!ISHE HERE?”
”RIGHT, YEAH, HE WAS HERE WITH SOME OF HIS COLLEGE BUDDIES, BUNCH OF ART
HOUSEpussiES,THEYWENTTOSOMEfuckINGART GALLERYPOETRYTHING?
”THENEXTTHING?”I shoutintohis ear,hopingtopermanently deafenhim
”YEAH, THAT'S IT BUNCH OF BIDDIES IN BLACK TURTLENECKS DRINKING fuckING
IMPORTEDCOFFEE?
”THANKS!”AndI'etoutsideintothecoldair andlookwith reliefatthe bouncer as he undoes theropes I takeout mywallet and do an inventory Okay,I can walk it in tenand savethemoney,butthese shoesare?
”hello?” I look over to seeeducational television with George ”hello? Can we talk for a second here? You got up at five-thirty this
Did you even eat a full lass of water and your feet are killing you”
”So?” I askStreet
”Sooo, you are tired, you are drunk, and, if you don't reat
Goho, couch-war at ho, I'm doith that, I cannot fully inhale due to the leather pants, and there is a permanent lace indentation up the crack of my ass ut I deserve this date! This date will happen because I still have greasepaint behind my ears I've earned this! What if I can't find hiain7 What if he never finds me? Sure, I want to be home, I want to be on the couch,butI needtohookupfirst! I havetherestof mylifetowatchTV!”
”Yeah,youdon't reallyseem all that?
”Well, of course not! Who would be at this hour? It's not about that! I have to win He has to see htwith thelast iepurpleTeletubbycostuht”
I hardenup to the bouncer n art gallery with a bouncer, don't evengetme started