73 The Fast & The Furious I : Blank Spots, Confused Hear (1/2)

When I woke up, I was in the pod. I was already logged out of the game,which was surprising as it's never happened before. But basically I don't even remember anything that happened. And what I could remember haunted me, and it hung right at the edge of my mind and memories refusing to go away. This was just a game, it couldn't be real, my dead sister can't really be there much less the weapon that so many people have been going after, nothing seemed to make sense.

I went to my bathroom and took a cold shower, hoping the freezing cold water would wake me from shock and everything would just turn out to be a dream, but I had no such luck, heck I couldn't even feel the water. I was numb and very lost, and angry, but at who? Jack was probably dead, I had the power to save him and I let him fall at the hands of my sister.

The sister I know or knew would never hurt another human being, but did Jack count as a human being, as someone with a soul, he was just made of codes after all. Why the hell do I keep coming back to this particular topic, am I not supposed to feel a great deal of remorse at the fact that he was dead, was it Wrong that I had such feelings for a being that's not flesh and blood. Did his life matter, or was he just going to be another scrambled and deleted code amongst the hundreds within the game.

There was a knock on my door, it served to awaken me from lost thoughts as I had remained standing under the cold shower for close to forty minutes. I needed answers, and the only person that could give that to me was no longer alive. My grandfather left big shoes to fill, but he also left big secrets to uncover, I knew without a shadow of a doubt that was my sister. Was she alive somewhere logged into the game, or was she....no! That's impossible!

*Knock!* *knock!*

”I'm coming!” I snapped at the person who was at the door.

I went and opened it, only to come face to face with Kira. I haven't seen her in a few days, but I remember we had to meet today to discuss about the company. Apparently there were some things that required my attention as the new chairman of the company, but never the less it would have been good to see her if I was not in such a terrible state of mind, and also very naked.

”Is there a reason why you're naked and look like death at the same time. You should put some clothes on, we have much too.....”

I pulled her close to me and kissed her, maybe this wasn't the time for it, but I wanted to feel something else. Anything other than the massive pit in my stomach and the confusion in my head. I just wanted the world to stop for a moment and at least make sense a bit to me.

*Slap!*

I knew the slap was coming, and I could have stopped her from the moment she raised her hand, but I didn't. I felt like I deserved a little pain, but yet I was search for pleasure. I had no idea what was wrong with me, I'm destroying myself.