598 I might just cry (2/2)

”Don't say any more, Seiji.” Mika hugged him even tighter. ”It's my fault, I'm sorry… let's stop talking about this.”

'Neither of you are in the wrong… perhaps something could be said about your actions, but you're not in the wrong at all.' That was what Seiji thought.

But, the mysterious emotions within himself prevented him from speaking properly, as tears uncontrollably flowed forth from him.

”Why… I clearly… didn't want to cry…”

Breaking up was something truly difficult for him to accept. Still, he knew that they weren't being serious, that they were only saying what if.

…Really?

A tiny voice deep inside his heart asked him that question.

'Something like breaking up shouldn't be said so easily as a joke.

'Being able to casually say it might mean that they don't view this relationship as important at all.

'Perhaps this entire harem is nothing more than your own disgusting otaku fantasies! Maybe none of them are being serious at all, they're only playing around and toying with you!!

'Someone as scummy as you could never obtain a girl's true love!!!'

These severe words coming from deep inside his heart shook Seiji to the core.

Right after that, an unstoppable torrent of sadness just about washed away his ability to think!

”Wahh… I… in the end…”

He was so sad and in such pain.

He had such a fulfilling life, with plenty of material objects, and was loved by beautiful girls… Perhaps all of this was just fake.

'Because I don't have the right to lead such a beautiful life.

'Because I'm just a…'

...

'So what!?'

Right before his thoughts reached the level of depression swallowed up in the darkness, Seiji suddenly struggled and regained his spirit.

'So what if it's all fake!?

'This type of beautiful life is bliss to me!

'I'll believe until the very end! Even if the final outcome is a tragedy that I can't change, I'll still accept it and properly face things head on!

'That's because the greatest miracle of all is that I'm still alive here!!'

With his powerful belief, Seiji leaped over the sudden wave of sadness and slowly regained his senses.

He then noticed that Chiaki and Mika were both really worried about him and blaming themselves.

Seiji did his best to smile normally at them.

”You don't need to be like this… this is my own problem,” he told them gently.

He felt that it was truly unseemly for him to have been so shaken over such a small matter.

”Seiji…” Something glistened in both Chiaki and Mika's eyes.

”I'm sorry… for showing both of you such an unseemly sight.” Seiji wiped away his tears. ”I… probably, somewhere deep in my heart, I'm still feeling quite anxious. …Is it really alright for me to start a harem? Can this type of relationship that's really unfair to all of you be successfully maintained? Unconsciously, I think I've always had my doubts. I like all of you and want to be together with everyone. But, inside my heart, I've always been afraid… afraid that you'll be disappointed in me and choose to leave me. In the end, I lack self-confidence… I find it difficult to believe that I can truly give you the fortunate lives that you deserve. After all, I'm only an otaku. Pretending to be a handsome womanizer has its limits for me.” Seiji revealed a deeply wry smile.

Mika and Chiaki couldn't find anything to say to his little speech.

”But… I don't regret anything.” Seiji looked directly at them and spoke sincerely, ”No matter how anxious or afraid I am, I want to try my best to the very end. I want to always be together forever with you. That's the most important feeling inside my heart. Even if, someday… what I'm afraid of really happens, I'll still…”

At this moment, he stopped speaking because his mouth had been gagged.

Chiaki had blocked him from saying any more with a kiss!

”Ahn…”