Chapter 2 - Volume 01; Act 01 – Part 02 (2/2)

“The tea party is cancelled. There is a little uproar in the palace right now, and even His Highness is busy. So please go home for today.”

“But…”

If I don’t ask about the situation and apologise to the audience for my delay, then it would also affect Prince Christopher’s reputation.

I’d thought, but I was overwhelmed by Sir Glenn’s unusual unrested appearance, and couldn’t say anything else.

Sir Glenn left while talking to Miss Irene, and I learnt from the guard who had taken me home that the pipes in the rose garden had been damaged.

When I got home, I noticed that Sir Glenn had always taken me home whenever I left the royal palace.

And I realised later that that wouldn’t be the last time it happened.

Looking back now, they were all plausible events.

Like whenever Prince Theodore calls me in a formal way and coldly took his distance from me. Or like when Sir Glenn stopped smiling at me in a carefree way and made a clear distinction between where his attention should be.

It has been four years since I’ve become Prince Christopher’s fiancée. I was able to interact with His Highness’s close aides.

Sir Glenn, the red-haired knight, is friendly and doesn’t act like someone from court, and he was always willing to help me carry books. The Ice Lord, Lord Alexei, makes use of whoever is handy, and he uses me as a maid to sort out paperwork and run errands for him whenever I’m not reading.

And the hour that I spend chatting with His Highness and his four close aides, or sometimes five, was the first time I felt that I’d enjoyed something other than reading.

My place will probably be replaced with Miss Irene in the near future.

No, my place may already be gone.

Because that Prince Christopher had already showed his true self to people other than his relatives and close aides.

“… Oh dear.”

I stopped in the middle of the corridor and pressed my hand to my chest. It felt like a gaping hole had opened up in my heart.

Then finally, I realised that I was shocked even though I’m slow-witted.

The image of His Highness laughing was etched in my mind and wouldn’t go away. Same as the image of him acting intimately with Miss Irene under the shade of the tree.

I vaguely knew that this day would come. But when that time had actually arrived, I was assaulted with more shock than I could have imagined.

In the last four years, I seem to have grown very attached to my relationship with them.

――― I am just his fiancée in name, and one day when he finds the person he loves, I will be relieved of my role.

I became his fiancée for that reason. ―――

That was what I was supposed to be.

This is strange. I, the 『Princess Bibliophile』, feel like crying because my chest hurts so much. The sense of loss I felt since losing my mother at the age of six, fills my heart.

I gently stroke the book that would always comfort me in times like this.

This book was something that was given to me by Prince Christopher about six days ago. It was on a bright afternoon.

His Highness, his close aides and his guards were tense after the rose garden incident, and I was also feeling uncomfortable.

I was reading like usual and His Highness spoke to me softly, “… I have a present for you.”

I slightly tilted my head. His Highness has never given me a gift.

I was always anxious when he gave me appropriate dresses and accessories befitting of a Crown Prince’s fiancée to keep his reputation whenever I go to balls or diplomacy events.

――― How many books can I buy with this accessory? I always think.

I didn’t say it into words, but His Highness probably also didn’t think that he needed to give national treasures to his fake fiancée. Presently, the beautiful accessories were hidden in the shadows.

Therefore, it was odd for His Highness to declare that he had a present for me, and it freshly resonated in my heart.

Prince Christopher was smiling like usual and he gave me a book that wasn’t even wrapped up.

“『Ruin of Kai Erg Empire: Celestial Edition』… Weren’t you asking for a book on empire history that wasn’t written by a historian? I had a hard time finding it because it rarely appears in the market… But I finally found it and wanted to give it to you as quickly as possible… But I thought you would be happy about it,” his smiling face as he said that was gentle, and he looked at me seriously as if he was waiting for my reaction.

I couldn’t put it into words straight away and trembled with emotion.

The book I had gotten was extremely difficult to obtain, even with the Bernstein’s connections, I had almost given up. Then, the book suddenly appeared in front of me and I was surprised and excited.

――― Most of all…

I was delighted that His Highness spared time and money and sought this book for me with great difficulty.

When I received it, I gently stroked the cover that was written in a foreign language and my heart was once again moved by how it felt.

“… Thank you very much, Prince Christopher.”

I didn’t know how to express my joy beyond this. I just stared at him with my emotions evident in my eyes.

His Highness also rubbed his chest as if he was relieved and smiled happily.

I was reminded of the happiness I felt at that time and calmed my sense of loss.

Even if His Highness has found someone who he could show his true self to, and even if he annuls our engagement, I believe that Prince Christopher wouldn’t treat me harshly.

Instead of waiting for my engagement to be annulled, I summoned up my courage to hear those words from his own mouth.

◊♦◊♦◊♦◊

His Highness’s office is also the room where I spend most of my time next to the royal palace archives.

At first, I had refused since I was only his fiancée in name and it would cause a lot of problems.

But he said 『This is the place where you could read freely without anyone disturbing you』. So I tried spending time in his office and realised that his office wasn’t bothered by noise at all. That was also the first time I felt that His Highness was keeping his word.

When I asked a chamberlain, who I was familiar with, to pass him a message, he looked extremely flustered. Is His Highness receiving an important guest?

I also noticed when the door of the next room which was used for meetings was opened and the waitress showed up. A bright, cheerful and adorable voice came from beyond the door, “――― I never knew that Prince Christopher was so interested in crafts.”

“Because you’re a smooth talker, Miss Irene.”

Oh! I couldn’t tell straight away which cheerful voice had pierced my heart.

Then, I heard Prince Christopher’s voice as if it was delivering the final blow, “Even if I gift you some crafts, they would probably be inferior to the ones the craftsman at your house make.”

“Is Your Highness going to give me a gift?” The voice which was brimming with joy echoed in my head like a decisive hit.

I see. I calmly understood somewhere deep in my heart. I took the present that I had received from His Highness as something special, but it didn’t mean anything particular to him.

Suddenly, the rare book that I was hugging close to my chest wasn’t so rare anymore and it became worthless.

I feel like I’m going to collapse. I calmly hold my breath that seems like it’s going to shake, got the upper hand on the waitress who was panicking, and barged into the room.

Prince Christopher stood up and trembled as if he was startled.

“Elli…?”

I was called by a nickname that only a portion of my relatives call me, however I first curtsy for entering the room without permission.

“Well, I don’t mind… But aren’t you supposed to be at your aunt’s today?”

Suddenly, I felt that my eyes had gone cold, which is unlike me. His Highness’s words were as if to say he had chosen when I wouldn’t be in the royal palace to deepen his relationship with another lady; it was as if he had such nasty thoughts.

At the same time, I felt my facial expressions which usually didn’t move, make a smile.

“… I can’t thank you enough for your concern over my aunt’s condition. I actually came here on a small errand today and I apologise for interrupting your conversation.”

“Wh-what is your errand?”

It was rare for me to see His Highness waver.

There are some familiar faces in the room. For some reason, Sir Glenn was covering his face with one hand, and Lord Alexei had a hand on his temple as if he was having a headache.

Miss Irene, the only woman in the room, looked surprised, but she still had the same frightened look on since I entered the room.

But, I didn’t pay attention to those three. The person I was staring at was Prince Christopher and only him.

With a smile, I imitated the smile His Highness always had, and made the biggest smile I could ever make.

“This book that I received from Your Highness the other day… I’m giving it back to you.”

“Huh…”

It was unusual for His Highness to freeze, and it looked a little funny.

“I don’t need it anymore.”

I stared at him one last time before putting the book on the desk. Then I curtsied and left the room.

There was no voice chasing after me.

When I got home, I was quite absent-minded. My father and brother came home and visited me, but I didn’t feel well so I refused dinner and locked myself in my room.

I, Princess Bibliophile, didn’t feel like reading.

“Get it together” and “I should acknowledge it” went around and around in my head. I sighed alone in the dark room.

Why am I so surprised and shocked that Prince Christopher can show his true self to another woman? Why was I devastated that his present to me wasn’t special and almost collapsed?

Why does my chest feel so tight and painful… and why does it hurt every time I breathe?

“… I see.”

It’s because I love His Highness.

I don’t know when it started. I love his blonde hair that shines in the sun, his crystal azure eyes which are like the clear blue sky, his dignified voice when he issues orders, his proud royal attitude, the times when he would show his stern determination and even his commanding gaze.

My heart grew painful just by remembering them. I realised for the first time that I was such a foolish person.

I pretended to understand and put on a face that made me look clever, but I didn’t even know the truth inside of my heart. A big-headed 『Princess Bibliophile』.

No matter how much I read or how much I learn from my predecessors, that knowledge won’t help me now. I realised too late.

Even my own heart doesn’t feel what I want.

I snorted at my own pitiful self.

I don’t even know what I should do from now on. The books don’t provide me with an answer at all.

All I know is that, the person next to His Highness… who would read to him under the sunlight that filters through the tree leaves, or enjoy tea with him on rainy days… isn’t me.

I didn’t feel like doing anything, and stared blankly as the night went on.