Chapter 1 - I’m going to the human world to seduce him (1/2)

From a time unknown, people passing by the River of Oblivion[1] began to call me the Stone of Three Lifetimes[2]. Thereafter, some people spurned me, some came hand-in-hand and carved on me their romances from lifetimes past, and there were even those who stood bawling in front of me.

And yet, I was just a stone by the Wangchuan riverside. I had neither joy nor sorrow.

I sat faithfully that way by the Wangchuan for one thousand years until I finally formed a soul one day.

All living things were to be subjected to trials of fate, but I continued to sit there harmlessly for over another century until…

My love trial came.

Reading my fortune was a white-bearded priest passing by the Wangchuan. He prophesied my coming trial to the knowing nodding of his head.

I thought he was just making up hogwash.

I was a spirit born from the Sansheng Stone; my soul was that of a stone and my heart was that of a stone. My heart had long been forged into coldness by the perennial darkness along the Wangchuan River.

There was no pain where there was no love. If my heart hadn’t ever stirred, then where would this love trial be coming from?

Or so I thought.

But everything always had its surprises.

On a gloomy afternoon in the underworld, I returned to the eternally unchanging Wangchuan from my walk as usual. I looked up. In that coincidental moment, as if sunlight from the land of the living had broken through the thick layers of fog, the cluster amaryllises lining the Yellow Springs suddenly glistened radiantly.

A man gracefully came forth.

I suddenly recalled the words a human woman passing by me had once whispered many, many years ago: “What a scholarly gentleman, so polished, so refined[3].”

After a thousand years, my stony heart made a rare subtle tremble.

He slowly approached, of course not to see me, but rather because behind me was the Naihe Bridge one must cross in order to enter the underworld. It wasn’t easy to run into such a beautiful person, so I thought I should have a beautiful meeting with him.

I stepped forward and softly called out to him: “Sir.” I thought to curtsy to him like the well-bred ladies did in human books. But the books only said ‘curtsy’. They never described to me what specific postures and movements were entailed.

I pondered for a moment, then mimicked the ghosts bemoaning to Yanwang (ruler of the underworld) and dropped to my knees with a thud, banged my head to the ground in three kowtows, and said to him, “What is thy fair name, sir?”[4]

The imps nearby sucked in two deep breaths of cold air. He stood there blankly with some surprise in his eyes. For the time being, he did not answer me.

Any endeavor must be approached with sincerity, for the Black and White Guards of Impermanence’s favorite saying was: “Sincerity equals success.” This was how they had always been able to lure the mortal souls to docilely follow them back.

Hearing no response from him, I briefly wondered that perhaps I hadn’t knocked my head loudly enough and therefore hadn’t shown enough sincerity. I crawled forward on my knees and, not sparing any effort this time, fiercely knocked my head onto the ground three more times.

It seemed I kowtowed so hard that I sent three waves of shock through the ground. The imps nearby wheezed in evident fright.

I raised my head and looked up at him with a bloody face. “What is thy fair name, sir?”

Perhaps the wretchedness of my bloody face had scared him stiff. He remained silent.

I hastily wiped my face, and in the process discovered both of my hands were damp! I hadn’t known I was bleeding this much. I suddenly realized why he was in such a stupor.

I panicked. While rushing to rub myself, I ended up smudging my entire body with blood.

I looked up to him quite helplessly.

In his pretty eyes was the imprint of my reflection. Then, his eyes curved into a dazzling smile.

Even though I didn’t know what he was delighted with, seeing him happy, I, too, offered him a friendly smile complete with two rows of sparkling white teeth, not realizing doing so was adding to the terrifying look of a bloody person.

The imp beside me, Jia, leaned in nervously and pulled me up. I wouldn’t rise. He caught his breath and whispered to me, “My dear Madam Sansheng! Who are you trying to scare with that frightening face?! Don’t you know who he is?”

Among the spiritual beings in the underworld, my magic wasn’t particularly profound. But due to seniority, all of the imps were respectful to me. They seldom spoke to me in such a tone. I frowned and said quizzically, “Of course I don’t know who he is. I’m asking him, aren’t I?”

Little Yi looked as though he was going to sputter up blood any moment now. “My dear madam! This is Heaven’s…” He hadn’t finished when a gentle voice interrupted him.

“My name is Moxi.”

He extended his hand where I readily placed mine inside. He flipped his hand and clasped my wrist.

My wrist was my vital portal. At this moment, he only needed the slightest exertion to send me to a very horrible death. Little Jia’s and Little Yi’s unsightly faces were becoming even ghastlier than they originally were. Jia quickly pleaded, “M’lord! M’lord! Miss Sansheng has lived here by the Wangchuan River all her life. The underworld is but a humble place; the young lady does not know her etiquettes. I beg you to forgive her.”

“Sansheng? That’s a strange name, albeit somewhat interesting.”

I was still looking at him. I did not feel afraid since there was no murderous intent in his eyes.

He carefully studied me for a while, let go of my wrist, and instead pulled me up by my arm. “How remarkable for a stone from the underworld to have developed a soul. You didn’t know who I was, yet why did you give me such a great obeisance?” I suddenly understood. It turned out it wasn’t that my sincerity was lacking, but that it was too profuse. I honestly told him, “You’re so handsome that I wanted to…” Untimely, my vocabulary failed me. In my panic, I randomly grasped for a word that I didn’t know since when had dropped into my brain: “I wanted to seduce you.”

Little Jia gave me a ‘you’re hopeless’ look.

He chuckled. “What a straightforward creature.”