Part 10 (1/2)

My dereliction of intellect fortunately was but of short duration: overpowered and exhausted, I at length sunk to sleep,by its side How long I re fit from a dream of terror, and found ot into bed, and shrunk beneath the bed clothes, as if escaping froination once more placed at my elbow, in forht had left too deep an ihts however that had lately escapedonce believed that God was the God of ht in the torture of lost souls was impossible; and that I had even doubted of the eternity of future torments To this relief a otten, andcontinually attracted and fixed on her, were relieved froht otherwise have been fatal

A week passed away in such kind of convulsive , and at last changing into so like aversion and horror At the end of this period, I was sent for in the !

I had broken no college rules, neglected no prayers, nor been guilty of any indecorum I foreboded that he had heard of my methodistical excursion The conjecture was true: he told me it was too publicly known to be passed over in silence; that the character of the university had greatly suffered by this kind of heresy; that the vice chancellor, proctors, and heads of houses had been consulted, and that the gentlest punishment they could inflict was rustication for two terms It would have been much more severe, he said, but for the respect he bore to the randfather; who had been a doctor of the university, a worthy pillar of the church, and his good friend

Though I suspected my opinions, I was not so entirely convinced as openly to renounce them, and I remained silent when he required me to recant But I requested hiownsman was present, except Hector Mowbray; and surely he was above the character of an inforht I, in this instance! The president however was silent; I was suffered to suppose what I pleased, and I left hi expected acaderanted me was that the punishment should not be made public

CHAPTER XVII

_Disappointe accidents: Preparations for a journey_

The delay of two ter to me I had nearly waited the stipulated tienerals_ Aristotle had been laid upon my head, and I had been created a _Soph_ In fine, I had complied with all the forht have had a , but which are now offensively absurd I expected the next terree of bachelor of arts, after which it was one to London, there to have been ordained, and to have sought a flock wanting a pastor, on whoht have been well bestowed

Traversed in this design, I deterreat city immediately, and return to keep my terms at Oxford when the period of rustication should have elapsed But I had been obliged to furnish myself with books and music, and had found the hundred pounds a year allowedand removal, I was informed that London was an expensive place It was therefore necessary I should write to the country, for a supply

The correspondence with h not pursued with all the zeal in which it was begun, had been occasionally continued At first her letters abounded with eulogiuan to cool with her, and she had lately forborne even to mention his name In answer to the letters which I wrote, to inform her and lawyer Thornby of my plan and to request a supply, a part of the truth appeared Her husband was a young ood sense, had squandered as much of it as he could wrest from his uncle, the lawyer, who affirmed the whole or nearly the whole asted; and, when he could obtain no one to London

These disagreeable circumstances were in part communicated by my mother and in part by Thornby, who had written to tell me that, if a small advance were made, it must be deducted from the thousand pounds, bequeathed as beforehial security he required, I received fifty pounds; after which I made the necessary preparations for my intended journey, and obtained letters of recoyman in London, and to the Bishop of--to whoree, I meant to apply for deacon's orders

END OF VOLUME I

VOLUME II

CHAPTER I

_Retrospect and character: Afore taste of futurity: Entrance to London, or where does it begin? All alive: A civil gentle in which I ined, was made There was no place so worthy of or so fit for the display of great talents as the pulpit This opinion I supposed to be too well founded for any possible arguy from the rector, but e the university was first established, and by it is still maintained; consequently it is there the chief object of pursuit, and topic of discourse My hour of doubt was not yet arrived, and of the absolute pre-eminence of the clerical office I was a bold and resolute asserter

Nor had my ambition been wholly bounded by the desire of faes which the world thinks h this was but a subordinate consideration Under all points of view, y ofthe nuained preferment, many by the sole influence of personal interest, andvice, there were some who had attained that end by the exertion of extraordinary talents and virtue It is true they were but few, very few; yet on them my attention had been constantly fixed Them I was determined to emulate, exert the saes Every exahted, anireat men even when persecuted and distressed, a Galileo, a Dryden, or an Otway, did but excite my admiration and ly live with them in poverty and imprisonment, or die with them of misery, s, but the daily emanations of desire

From my infancy, the lessons and incidents of ed the rock ht be described on which the temple of fame stood, I was determined to ascend and enter

I was possessed of that hilarity which, when not regulated by a strong desire to obtain soant forms, and is then called anireat end, assumes the more worthy appellation of activity of ed I was but little aware how much I had to learn, and unlearn, or of the opposition I should meet from my own prejudices, as well as froined are never feared, and uine hope Were all the dangers of life to present theination in a body, drawn up in battle array, the prospect would indeed be dreadful; but co individually they are less formidable, and successively as they occur are conquered Foreboded, their aspect is terrific; but seen in retrospect, they frequently excite present satisfaction and future fortitude: and this is the way in which they have most frequently been seen bythe sweets of literature I had long been exercising hts, and enabling ht amass Of sermons I had written some dozens; and the most arduous of the efforts of poetry had been attey to the epic poeh I myself was not so well satisfied withlabours, yet, I had so far familiarised myself to a selection of words, and phrases, as to be able to coe

Possessed, as I ell persuaded, of no coht that I was now going to bring it immediately to reat emporium, where talents if exhibited would soon find their true value, and were in no danger of being long overlooked To London, which was constantly pouring its novelties, its discoveries, and its effusions of genius over the kingdo