9 Chapter 9: Kysael- Discovery (1/2)

Chapter 9: Kysael- Discovery

June, 1102 A.D.

\tIt was the eleventh of June, the sixth month of my pregnancy, when I awoke in the dead of night with unbearable stomach pain. \t

\tPain radiated through my entire body, and I waddled out of my room to get a glass of water when water came rushing out of me to puddle at my feet.

\t”Dragon!” I called sharply. He got up quickly, coming into the sitting area with his robe tied around him, his eyes worried. ”It's time.”

\t”Right! Go back to bed, I will grab my things and we will get started.”

\tI made my way back to my room, lying down on the bed. Fear rushed through my mind. Would this child be evil? Would it look like its father? Would it be a male, a female? I was so afraid.

\tI was gasping in pain when Dragon returned, bursting through the door with his supplies.

\tIt was only him, since no one else could know what was happening. Just as it had been with my birth, this child's identity must stay a secret.

\tHe put a cool, damp cloth on my forehead, holding my hand for a moment before he started talking me through giving birth.

\tWith tremendous force, I bore down with all my might when I was instructed to push.

\tI growled out a ferocious sounding cry as I could feel the child's head stretch me. The injuries inside of me pulled, tugged, and ripped. I screamed out, not knowing if I could get through this.

\tBut I could already feel the head passing, and I would simply have to continue on with this until it was over. It was already too late to deliver the child through my stomach.

\t”The head has passed, Kysael!” He told me anxiously. ”Now, take a breath and push again to pass the shoulders!”

\tWith weakening strength, I choked out a gurgled gasp as I pushed, and felt the shoulders pass out of me.

\t”One more push ought to do it, Kysael,” Dragon said softly, calm as could be. ”You are doing great. One more push!”

\tI cried as I used the rest of my fading energy to push one last time, and when he slapped the babe's behind lightly to knock the fluid from its lungs, and as it let out a piercing cry, my body fell back onto the bed, my chest heaving from exhaustion.

\tDragon made haste cutting the umbilical cord, and he took the child to clean all of the blood and afterbirth from its tiny body.

\tDragon rushed to heal me, his eyes not really looking at me, more looking off to see the infant.

\tHis eyes made sure not to linger on me for more than a split second, and it took a good half hour for him to completely heal my insides.

\tHe didn't let his hands get too close, not close enough to really touch me there.

\tThey hovered, but I could still feel the heat of his healing powers, and it still made me...uncomfortably warm, considering that my child was in the room. It made my cheeks burn, and my heart quicken.

\tDragon gave nervous glances up at my face, around the room, until he was finished.

\t”There. There is still blood and afterbirth, but the injuries are healed, at last.” He took a deep breath. His attention turned to the baby. ”Now, let us check on the baby.”

\tHe went over to the corner, Dragon checking to be sure the child was healthy, and then he made haste, finishing cleaning it.

\tAnd then he stopped.

\t”What is it? What is wrong?” I asked, panic rushing into me.

\tDragon slowly came back over to me, covering my mutilated nether regions with a blanket before he went back to get the child from the table, and brought it to me for me to see.

\tRelief and disappointment had my head spinning. Relief when Dragon told me the child was healthy, and disappointment at the child's appearance.

\tA head full of white hair and blazing, blood red eyes greeted me.

\t”You have a daughter,” he said softly.

\tI took a better look at the girl. White hair and red eyes, with my skin tone, thankfully. She had pointed elven ears, and she had chubby cheeks.... chubby cheeks with Wraith markings....my Wraith markings.

\tOnly instead of the beautiful, Royal blue color, they were the color of freshly spilled blood, matching her eyes.... matching her father's eyes.

\tShe had thick, thick pouty lips, and a curved inward nose that didn't belong to me, since mine was straighter. Her facial features resembled her father more than I, but at least she had my skin tone.

\tShe was beautiful, yes. I was disappointed, but at the same time, I was proud. I had just spent several months carrying this child, and given birth to this child. My child. My beautiful child.

\t”What will you name her?” He asked softly.

\tI thought for a moment. ”I will name her 'Kirinae',” I replied.

\t”'Child of Woodelves'. Let's hope she lives up to that name and behaves like one,” Dragon said. ”So, I take it that her father had white hair and red eyes, of course, right?”

\tI nodded. ”Yes, she has his features. The hair and eyes, the nose, the lips...She is certainly his child.”

\tHe sighed sadly. ”At least she is beautiful,” he whispered.

\t”Let's hope that her actions will be beautiful as well,” I said. I held her out to Dragon. ”Would you mind taking her for a bit? I need to rest. I feel drowsy.”

\tHe did so, and the child's eyes locked onto him, and she smiled as she snuggled into his chest.

\tI chuckled. ”She seems to like you, Dragon. Perhaps I may have some competition,” I joked.

\t”You would have to be an unintelligent, blind fool if you've ever thought that you had any competition,” he said in a hushed, dark tone.

\t”What?” I gaped. He jolted; his eyes wide.

\t”Did....Did I really just say that aloud?” He asked, mortified and cheeks red.

\tI nodded, and Dragon covered his face with one hand. ”Oh, heavens. I cannot believe that I actually said that aloud.”

\t”I take it that you meant for that bit of information to stay in your mind, then,” I said harshly.

\tHe sighed. ”Kysael,” he began, but I cut him off.

\t”What are you saying? What is that even supposed to mean, Dragon? What, that you have feelings for me? I thought that you didn't have any feelings of that nature for me.”

\tHe threw up his hands. ”I only just realized it myself a while ago, Kysael. And what am I supposed to do? You are under a mating mark with someone else, a powerful sorcerer and Prince of the Darkelf people. I don't even know what it means myself, how was I supposed to tell you? Kysael, I have always seen you as family. I am just so conflicted. I don't even understand my feelings myself yet. I didn't want to talk to you about this until I knew how I felt, in full depth.”

\tI couldn't think of anything to say. And I got mad at myself. ”I'm sorry.”

\tHe patted my shoulder. ”It's alright. I know that you aren't a patient young woman,” he grinned. ”And I suppose I should have spoken to you about it.” He gave me a hug before he stood and left, going to off into the house to give me some peace to rest.

\tI sighed, and as I let the baby nurse from me, I slipped into a light sleep. I was in a safe position, as Dragon had showed me previously. And I knew that Dragon would be back in shortly to check on me. If he heard anything amiss, too, he would rush back in.

\tAs I dosed, I began to go into a dream...

\tThere sat a woman, with almond shaped, hazel eyes. Beautiful, shiny auburn hair rested on her head, pulled up into a fancy up-style. She was beautiful, and I could swear that I had seen her somewhere before. Her face was heart shaped, like mine.

\tShe felt so familiar to me. She looked at me with an expression that I couldn't identify, and I searched my frazzled mind for some kind of information about this woman.

\tAnd the only thing that I had, was a glimpse-a small, blurry glimpse, looking up at her worried face, seeing her pressing kisses to my forehead and nursing me. I startled.

\t”You-you're my-”

\t”You shouldn't be so hard on him, dear. Dragon has never been a very.... expressive man. He's subtle, private, and personal. He doesn't like getting too serious too quickly. He doesn't like telling people how he feels, or feeling insecure about how he feels. You just need to give him some time to work things out for himself, and to accept those feelings. Once he is ready, he will be more open with you about it.”

\t”You...you are my mother,” I said softly.

\t”It is nice to finally meet you, Kysael.”

\tI felt warmer than I ever had as she embraced me.

\t”Dragon will open up to you eventually. I've known him for a long time, and he has done a fantastic job raising you. Give him some time, dear.”

\tI nodded. ”You're right. I haven't been thinking about how this situation has affected him. I've only been thinking about me.” I yawned.

\t”Get some rest for a few hours. When she gets hungry, Dragon will bring her to you for you to feed her. He has taken her, now, to put her in the cradle to sleep.”

\t”I see. I am very tired.”

\t”Get some sleep. I am sure that I will meet you again in your dreams sometime or another,” she laughed, and I loved the tinkle of it.

\t”Thank you, mother.”

\tShe smiled at me, and left my mind.

\tOver the next few weeks, I held the girl often. Awake, asleep...I would watch her with fascination.

\tThis was my child.

\tMy daughter.

\tI watched her red eyes stare up at me in wonderment, too aware...too observant. Her eyes were bright and knowledgeable.

\tI would talk to her softly, whispering sweet, smooth lullabies. I would rock her. I would smile at her, and rub my nose to her's. I sang softly. I told her riddles. I would read to her.

\tAnd as she grew so rapidly, I could feel her distancing herself from me, wanting space, not wanting me to touch her as often, not wanting to be close to me.

\tIt hurt, but I thought it almost for the best, in a way. If someone were to discover her, and she were to be executed, or if Mafrien chose to come and claim her....it would only hurt me to be attached to her.

\tAnd if she became evil in the event that she was to survive....

\tI don't believe that I could bear it.

*

July, 1102 A.D.

\tIt was well into July, now. Kirinae was just turning a month old, and already she was working her way into eating soft, pureed foods, such as stewed, mashed vegetables and fruits.

\tShe was already the size of a toddler, and she was starting to try to crawl.

\tI was truly frightened by her rate of progression. At this rate, there was no conceivable way that I could possibly keep her hidden.

\tI had managed to keep my pregnancy a secret, but once the child was old enough to be walking and running around, it would be exceedingly difficult to hide her from everyone.

\tI needed to leave the city. And soon.

\tBut each day that passed, Kirinae continued to grow.

\tAnd it could take weeks to get the approval of the King to leave the city, and that was only if you had a good reason.

\tI had not seen Dragon since he had delivered the child, though I knew that, as always, he was watching over me from somewhere.

\tHe just didn't want to talk to me yet. I was determined to get back to my old self and not rely on him anymore, and I had tried to return to hunting animals, as per usual.

\tAt least the carnivores, which were easier for me to stomach, since they had to eat meat as well.

\tDragon finally decided to talk to me, and as he was returning home early one morning while I was on a hunt, he stopped me in the forest.

\t”Kysael,” he said softly. ”Hunting this morning, I see.”

\t”Yes, I'm trying to get back in shape. I've gotten rusty.”

\tHe smiled. ”How is everything?”

\t”Well, as you should well know. I live with you.”

\tHe followed me back to our home, and he wasn't as stunned to see Kirinae's progress as I might have guessed.

\t”I can hardly believe that this is the same child that I delivered only a month ago,” he said, disbelieving. ”I've been busy with work and then you are always asleep or busy when I return. I haven't really gotten to see her much.”

\t”Oh, it certainly is her,” I said.

\t”She has.... grown so rapidly. I cannot even believe it, even though I am seeing it with my own eyes.”

\t”I know, it is hard for me to think about.”

\t”How are you handling being a mother?”

\tI smiled. ”I am tired, and always thirsty no matter how much I hunt. Your blood is the only blood that satisfies me.... well, other than his blood, but I won't go into that. He's not here, and he's not coming back.”

\tHe sighed, nodding. ”You're right. Its best to leave the past in the past.” He looked at my daughter. ”Have you heard anything from her father?”

\tI shook my head. ”Nothing yet, thankfully. Though I feel this pulling, tugging sensation coming from my Mating Mark. Other than that, I haven't heard anything from him in anyway. Perhaps he is waiting until she is old enough?”

\tHe shrugged. ”I wouldn't know.” He gave me a hug. ”I'm sorry that it's taken so long for me to talk to you. I was.... just so....overwhelmed with all of this.”

\tI held up a hand, stopping him. ”It's alright. I understand. You need time. And I am sorry that I wasn't considering your thoughts and feelings during any of this, Dragon. I have been so extremely selfish. I didn't mean to push you. I'm just lonely, and frightened at the idea that I'll never be wanted. Kelose claimed to love me so very much, and he left me. Mafrien wants me only for his own evil intentions. I suppose that I was just desperate to hear you say that you loved me.”

\tHe smiled. ”I suppose that things have been hard on both of us,” he said. He rubbed the back of his head. ”I cannot tell you that yet, though, Kysael. Once I say those words to you, I want to be able to give you the attention and care that you long for...but until that mating mark is gone, I cannot.”

\t”Gone? How could it be gone?” I asked. ”Is there a way to make it go away?”

\tHe looked away. ”It's not possible.”

\t”Dragon, please! If there is a way, then please, tell me!”

\tHis shoulders slumped a bit. ”You would have to complete the Soul Bond with Kelose.”

\tDespair ran through me. ”And that isn't possible.”

\tHe nodded. ”That's why I didn't want for you to know. I didn't want for you to get your hopes up about something that isn't possible.”

\t”Thank you, Dragon....but you cannot continue to try to protect me from everything. There are things in this world that even you cannot protect me from.”

*

August, 1102 A.D.

\tJuly passed quickly into August, the month of my birth. Kirinae only continued to progress rapidly, and my fear only continued to grow.

\tShe was now walking and eating solid food, and she was only two months of age. She was the size of an older toddler.

\tAnd she could speak in small, cut up sentences.

\tAnd so, began the hardest challenge I had ever faced in my life: keeping a running, jumping, climbing, too observant and too intelligent toddler inside the house.

\tI began stressing to her that if she were to ever go outside, she would need to have her marking concealed.

\tThough the same shape as my own, if anyone saw the coloring, they would know that something was wrong.