1 THE RETURN OF HEAVENs BANE (2/2)
How could the poor King of Hell possibly have ever imagined that anyone would ever dare challenge his authority and even outright curse at him in his very realm, where, he was supposed to be a deity, an almighty god? And yet, the all-powerful him had just been scared shitless, so much so he had spat out a mouthful of tea. Yama looked around to see the other judges and a youthful lady, the beautiful Miss Meng, looking back at him just as confused as he was.
Yama gave the lot of them a bitter smile and wiped his mouth with a black napkin. He somehow was able to keep a straight face as he told them, ”If you all could excuse my esteemed self, it seems someone is calling for This King…”
Meanwhile, having heard no reply to his yell, the ghostly youth had already shouted once more, ”Yama! Come out here, or don't blame me for being impolite! Send me back out there RIGHT NOW, YOU BLOATED KING OF YELLOW TRANSPARENT PEOPLE!”
B-Bloated king of…
Yama's face twitched as he noticed a few judges were actually struggling to keep a straight face. Little Fanguan, their newest member, had even begun crying due to how painful it was to hold himself back from laughing.
As for 'old lady' Meng… Yama sighed in relief when he noticed her expression looked normal. Of course, as soon as he turned around, the extremely hot girl collapsed on the floor, wheezing loudly.
Couldn't you at least keep it up until I could no longer hear you? As your superior, don't I deserve at least that much?
Feeling pained yet not daring to give voice to his true thoughts, Yama could only act as if he hadn't seen or heard anything and walked straight towards the ghostly figure atop Hell's Gate.
”It's about time, Yama, you huge cockblocker! Quick, get me back out there so I can continue my final battle with that other bastard you hang out with!”
”ESTEEMED Evil Saint Xu Ling...” Yama gritted his teeth, ”First off, that so-called 'final battle' of yours lasted ten seconds, and all your contribution to it had been being Tian's punching bag! After he spent more than ten days trying to figure out a way to kill you, he called This King over and asked This King to seal you down here... This King took pity on you and, in order to prevent the Heavenly Lord from beating you up any further, This King acted and-”
”Ah! And that's where you are wrong! Punching bag? I was not simply getting beaten up! It was an extremely well thought-out tactic! I was slowly tiring him out! Get hit, hit him… Rinse and repeat and, no matter how many lives the bastard could possibly have had left, then I could have killed Tian in just a month or two!” The blue-eyed youth looked at Yama in contempt and derision. ”Eh! Then again, I wouldn't expect a mere Yama to figure out the hidden genius of my ways! Fine! I'll forgive you this once because of your good intentions, but you should really not interfere in the affairs of grown ups…”
The King of Hell felt his pressure rising and held himself back from strangling the ghostly youth right there and then.
”Tch! Alright!” He finally yelled, ”This King will send you back out! However, This King can't choose whose corpse you'll inhabit in your next life… AT most, I can influence it a little, so it probably won't be your old, unkillable body… Therefore, this King suggests you brace yourself-”
”Eh, as expected of Yama,” the ghostly youth interrupted the King of Hell not hiding the look of disdain in his eyes, ”Not even capable of doing his only job properly and get me a suitable body… Eh! Typical Yama!”
”...”
It absolutely won't be yours!
It most certainly, surely, DEFINITITELY won't be yours you massive dick!
Just get reincarnated into a mosquito and get squashed to death already!
Yama gritted his teeth and waved his sleeve, ”Just go already you huge nuisance! Do you have any idea how much overtime This King had to do because of your stupid quest? The number of average deaths quintupled by the week! QUINTUPLED, This King says!”
”Oh, yeah sorry about that.” Feeling a strong suction force affecting his body as effect of Yama's actions, the ghostly youth did not resist it and instead allowed himself to be carried by it. Just as he was about to be teleported away, Xu Ling looked at Yama in confusion, ”But since you know that by sending me back there I will resume my grand quest and even more people will die… why would you still agree to do it? Are you really as idiotic as I make you out to be or are you just a masochist?”
”...”
It's because This King'd rather have a billion extra souls than hearing a single more word coming out of your mouth! F*ck off already!
Of course, the above words couldn't be spoken since, as King of Hell, he still had a reputation to maintain…
”Pfff-!”
Yama still almost shed tears as he noticed his hot co-worker Meng had long since stopped pretending any different and was actually laughing nonstop, going as far as slapping her thighs repeatedly! As for the judges, they were neither girls, nor were they hot, so they could only hang on in some way or another and hope their boss wouldn't reduce their already criminally low wages…
Meanwhile, back in the world of the living...
Whoosh! The soul of Xu Ling had bound itself onto an unfamiliar body laying supine on the ground.
Through his corporeal body's five senses, the reborn soul had excitedly witnessed as the coal-like black soil beneath him turn into fresh dirt; the air, so still in the underworld, he could feel occasonally brush in waves against his exposed skin; the sky, pitch back in the land of the dead, he had looked as it had immediately filled with countless gleaming stars!
The sky... The wind... The earth... They were there.
They were all there!
Xu Ling sent a command to his new body and a small hand entered his field of view. At first, he was taken aback: the hand was really small, and the skin covering it looked so soft it was as if water could be squeezed out with but a light pinch. He frowned, as such a hand had clearly never held a farming tool, let alone a weapon: it was simply that smooth!
In the end however, he smiled: he had always liked a challenge! And this time around, his starting point would be much higher anyways! Training a new body to desirable standards from scratch wouldn't take too long either way.
As he inhaled and exhaled contentedly, the golden spark of light that had freed him of the clutches of the underworld and had entered his body let out a warm current, which spread from his chest and then traversed his whole body.
Then, as he concentrated on breathing in what should have been the cold air of the night… he noticed it not to be cold at all. In fact, some smoke was even mixed in. As he breathed and it entered his lungs it even stung a bit... Xu Ling turned his head and, sure enough, off in the distance, he could discern the vague outline of a burning village. Although he felt slight pain from having inhaled the smoke, he still let out a light chuckle. He sat up, and black strands of hair fluttered in the night wind before his eyes. Slowly, the gaze of the child turned upwards, focusing on the beautiful starry sky above him. Finally, Xu Ling forced himself to stand up. Being able to walk again, feeling the world through his own body, a small pair of golden eyes blinked ecstatically as a hint of reminiscence flashed by the pitch-black pupils.
In the night lit up by the flames and the starry sky, a small mouth opened and a short string of words came out:
”Blindlight… Xiao Lan… Master…”
”Ren Hong…”
”I'm back!”