Vol 3 Chapter 54 (2/2)
”Unless I'm mistaken, I always knew you are the type to not want to rely on the help of others
”Yet, I don't think you should go onexpectations of other people like that With the ay you spoke and demeanor you put on, it makes you sound very dependent While it's a very effective way to give someone the illusion that they're reliable Yet it's risky for you to go on like that, not just in the long term, but in the short term as well,”
She gave a very serious advice
She was right I realized I was very unco that ti these three days, I wondered if I was being too dependent on other people
Maybe I was too conscious of my relationshi+p with Oreki-san Anxiously aware that I was constantly s I don't understand, without even trying to figure it out myself
However
To rely on this et some deal out of them was, how should I say this?Yes, to quote froainst my personal creed
I think it's problematic to rely on someone else to solve one's own problems While it is true that the Classics Club was unable to sell all the anthologies on its own, but I'uish between 'expectation' and 'reliance' Could ht be related to such anxieties?
With some trepidation, I asked,
”Did I really sound that dependent?”
Irusu-san raised her hand to the side of her face, and lifted her little finger
” Girlfriend?”
”No, I er,”
Irisu-san continued,
”If you keep on with such an act, sooner or later pretending can turn into your reality It's true that you've never negotiated like that before but in that case, you should have placed your expectations on people who could do the task What I' to say is, you should quit with such unskilledstraight to the point is often your weakness, on the other hand, it could also be your greatest weapon You understand what I mean?”
Yes, I do Irisu-san orried about me
Though with apologies to her, shesmile andsaid,
”Yes, I was thinking the sa I just felt I wasn't suited for such a thing Umm, in other words I'm tired of it”
Irisu-san sently in response
065 - ♦12
After the Closing Cereh School Cultural Festival officially coht away, as before that, all students are required to clean up the school before leaving
Borrowing so from Oreki, I took this moment to head to the First Preparation Rooa Club, and I wasn't thinking of defeating Kouchi-sempai now of all times Still, I had wanted to at least show her Ashes at Dusk My position in the Manga Club and its policy during the Cultural Festival notwithstanding, I sia lover
As luck would have it, Kouchi-se with President Yuasa I called her out from some distance,
”Sempai,”
They both turned around,
” Oh, Ibara,”
Kouchi-seht demeanor,
”Yes, what is it?”
”I know it's a little late, but, here”
I presented the Ashes at Dusk copy to her,
”I've brought it, the a that I believe would become a classic one day,”
Kouchi-seh my chest She looked at the copy of Ashes at Dusk with quite so deeply,
”Let's go somewhere else,”
The place she took me was the same place I spoke with President Yuasa, the roof of the connecting corridor Leaning on the handrail, Kouchi-selanced down at the courtyard below I stood a few paces froround, we could hear the sound of people cleaning things up, tearing down theirin the late afternoon felt a little chilly
I continued to stand behind her as she stared at the courtyard Froure looked rather s her back to me,
” So you really brought it with you?”
”Yes Though it's not exactly mine,”
I realized ,
”Sea, didn't you?”
”Yuasa told you, didn't she? She can be pretty nosey sometimes,”
”She said you were friends with the author of this a,”
Though I could not see as she was facing her back to ently,
”Friend, huh? I wonder how Haruna's doing now I did ask for her nu now,”
”Have you read this a?”
There was no reply
My knees were tre, but not because it was cold While I was used to brow beating fuku-chan, I had never pressed a question on someone else like this before I was scared, so s trembled
Though as there was only the two of us, no one would notice how scared I was I tightened my fists further,
” I, understand what you're trying to say Whether aor not is purely subjective, I also understand that it's up to every individual to decide whether a a suits oneself or not
”But, I still think this is incorrect Wouldn't that be a bit too futile?”
Sempai's voice was extremely calm,
”Well, for Ashes at Dusk, it's on the serious side, you know Ifit Isn't that the case?”
”No, it isn't One would stop reading only after one has started So I'a has that ability to make you understand once you read it,”
”Only to those who'd understand the difference”
”Kouchi-sempai!”
Se around Slowly putting her hand in her breast pocket, she took so out It sounded like a pen as I could hear her re on the handrail
” I was joking,”
”Eh?”
I thought I had heard wrong, yet Kouchi-sempai repeated herself,
”I was only joking Of course I'd understand You really think I'd seriously say everyone's work is worth the sairl”
””
I slowly relaxed the grip I had on my fists Ayako doesn't really mean what she said, Those words of President Yuasa echoed in my head
I could feel the cold breeze blowing through my track suit
Under such a breeze, I could barely hear Kouchi-se her throat,
”It just couldn't leave me be,”
”?”
”I did read it, but only half way before stopping Though I couldn't bring myself to throw it away But I still won't read it, do you knohy?”
I shook my head
I couldn't see her expression fro softly,
”You said I'd understand it I read it, right? Yeah, I did understand A lot But, I couldn't bring myself to admit it
”What about you? What if a friend who has never read any a before decided to write one herself and co like that you'd norht?”
””
What about you?
I couldn't understand why she would never read a a written by her friend
No, was that really what I think?”
What if Chi-chan suddenly decided to draw a a?
And what if she ended up creating a masterpiece like Ashes at Dusk?
Would I be able to read it s?
Kouchi-se Her words have been unusually calm,
”So I hid it away in a box and stored it way inside To the point where I could not see it and tell myself such a masterpiece doesn't exist But it just couldn't let ht a copy sold in last year's Kanya Festival would end up reappearing in the hands of a first year? And during Kanya Festival to boot
” It must be fate,”
Seh leaping, she pushed herself away fro her hand, she headed towards the school building Without looking at me, she said,
”I' me this, but I won't read it Since it's not yours, you'll have to return it to its owner Because, you know?
”If I read it, I'll have to call her And I'd have to say 'I read it, it was a! I look forward to your next piece!' That's not so I'd want to say, you know?”
I wasn't able to stop Kouchi-se had happened, she disappeared froht All this time, she never saw me in the face
It was then I noticed the doodle that she had scribbled on the handrail It was a semi-defor anything in particular except for a pair of baggy boots I realized I had seen this character before, and I whispered,
”This is from Body Talk,”
I see
So that's why
Both ofBut if I had to choose one out of those two, I would have to pick Ashes at Dusk after so
And I realized Kouchi-sempai would also come to the same conclusion
I
In comparison to Ashes at Dusk and Body Talk, I was rea was, and suddenly I feltup