Chapter 170 (1/2)
Volume 2
Chapter 149
「『That’s right, you are in a deep and warm place』」
Within the darkness where my eyes are closed, I could hear the gentle voice of a certain grandpa who seems to be the authority of Psychiatry in the same hospital as Maeno-Sensei.
The sound of the metronome placed on the desk, the faint scent of sweet fragrance of flowers.
A space where the mind naturally becomes calm.
『I’m sure you’re fed up with the usual inquiries and conversations?』 It seems the past few counselings has been something called hypnotherapy.
But, honestly speaking, with the current circumstances, I can’t really say that it’s been effective.
「『The sound of a phone ringing. Try picking up the phone. See, you can hear someone’s voice right』」
I Imagine the situation in accordance with the voice of the psychiatrist doctor. TLN: Please be advised, Doctor and Sensei could be used interchangeably in this chapter.
However, my imagination fails to catch up to the words I gradually heard at this point.
「『What you hear is your voice……. Listen carefully to that voice. That voice is talking about things about you that you’ve forgotten』」
Oh, it’s useless. I just can’t imagine it.
As soon as I become conscious of the 『Things I’ve Forgotten』, my old self which is being locked up deep within my core makes an appearance.
『Wrong』. 『That’s not it』, so it keeps yelling at me.
Listening to that my old nagging voice, my calm self would drown out the imagination that this is impossible at this rate.
I mean, it’s just way too off.
With this calm feeling, it won’t sync up.
I’m so damn sure that, this won’t help me remember this dark flame that seems like it might crush me.
「…… Doctor, sorry. After all I, just don’t think……」
When I opened my eyes quietly saying so, the psychiatrist Doctor as well as Maeno-sensei were in the room.
Maeno-Sensei is a surgeon and, of course, not a psychiatrist, but he tended to my injuries first, and even after then, when I had a medical examination, he showed up.
Looking at me awkwardly close up the picket, the psychiatrist doctor made a slightly troubled face.
「I see, fumu, like I thought, I guess it might be that hypnotherapy is incompatible with Ukei-kun」
As the doctor says so calmly, he stops the hand of the metronome that was still swaying.
「I’m sorry」
「Oh no, Ukei-kun. This is largely due to the disposition of the person. Let’s tread slowly and carefully without rushing」
As I lowered my head, Maeno-Sensei gently tapped my shoulder.
「Maeno-Kun is right, should we end it right here for today. So we can think about it carefully. Because it’s not good to force something like this」
The psychiatrist doctor said so in a calm voice.
「Okay……., then, I’ll see you soon」
「Well then, I’ll be waiting for you at this time next week」
「Take care alright,Ukei-kun」
Even though I’m trying my best, I played oblivious to the awkwardness of not being able to show any progress, and then left the hospital room after bowing to Maeno-Sensei and the psychiatrist doctor.
I pulled myself from the quandary of an apologetic and an indescribable emotion.
While thinking about why, it is evident that I bear a certain feeling of dislike towards Maeno-sensei within me.
Sometimes, the look in Maeno-sensei’s eyes, somehow, feels like that of a serpent’s tongue coiling around the heart.
Makes me feel a kind of bitter nostalgia.
It especially makes the me that isn’t me, a little agitated, kinda feeling.
☆
「? Mai?」
「Oh, dear brother」
After finishing the examination and leaving the hospital, Mai was waiting at the gate in uniform.
「Why are you here……」
「Why? Of course I came to pick you up. Don’t you understand that much, dear brother? Please try to understand the feelings of your anxious sister who’s worried about dear brother」
Mai puffed up her cheeks a little, and glared at me with upturned eyes.
「Oh, my bad. Thank you. But don’t go out alone too much, it’s dangerous」
「You don’t need to worry too much, the police are escorting me properly. Look, they’re over there, and there」
A young lady in a black suit was waving her hands over from where Mai’s finger was pointed.
If that’s what you’re saying, then it seems I too have a bunch of old men or young bros or whatever in black attire following me, and even if that wasn’t the case, no matter where you go, you can see these kinds of people in this town that is now full of police officers.
The situation of the town with the excessive number of police officers is strange, but it is also for this very reason that there’s likely no chance of a fatal incident occuring.
Speaking of things that are worrying, seeing as my words also eventually find their way back to affect me like a boomerang, I raised my hands up in surrender and gave up.
「Well then, let’s head home, your sister’s hands are tired」
Mai having said that, sticks out a bag that seems to contain ingredients for dinner.
「Alright fine, I will carry them for you」
When I took the bag with a wry smile in one hand, Mai grabbed hold of my empty hand and walks as if it was a matter of course.
The coldness of the hand from being held tightly, got my face all blue as I walk.
After coming back, Mai always holds my hand no matter where I go.
Grasping hands is not just limited to when we go out, but even in school classrooms and inside the house, close contacts like suddenly joining hands, or coiling around my arms has been increasing.
Of course, I don’t hate it. It is just quite intense for a brotherly gesture. But ……
(Continuing with this……)
One of my worries is the memories that seems like I’m about to recall but didn’t.
But, I think that I have to do something about Mai.
When I saw Yuuto’s room in the daytime, it made me realize that I can’t keep dodging it.
Which is why, I resolved myself that this can’t go on like this, and then took a single step forward.
「…… Listen,Mai. Can you just, put a stop to these already?」
「? What are you talking about?」
She looks up with a strange face, and tilted her head sideways in puzzlement.
Err, that’s pretty cute, but now is not the time.
While feeling the hint of refusal, still I pressed on with my conversation.
「You’re not a child for goodness sake, so holding my hand every time we go out, is umm you know? Improper?」
Having said that, beyond her gaze, I realized the strength behind her grip on my arm shoot up a little.
It contained too strong an emotion to call it an expression of deep affection.
「There’s, nothing improper about it. We are the only two siblings」
Mai’s eyes staring at me, looks somewhat intense as if morbid, and dark……
「But you see, Mai……」
「NO!! ……No, way. Dear brother, is joining hands together with Mai」
The strength holding my hand got even stronger.
Like the grip of a mother holding her child’s hand tightly, so as not to get lost.
(…… No, I’m sure, this is like the grip of a mother holding the hand of a child who was once a lost child, making sure he never separates from her again)
「As long as we’re joining hands, you will never leave this time. Can’t you even understand that? Stupid dear brother」
「Mai……」
I could not say anything further, to Mai who said that murmuring with her face down.
「……Now, when we get back, we eat and then study. Let’s pass the test with a perfect score okay, dear brother」
「Uh, yeah」
What, how do I say it.