39 Torture (1/2)

There was a fleeting moment of silence. Time seemed to slow down, as a single drop of blood rolled off Tai's knuckle. With a flicker, he was gone before it hit the floor.

”Over here.”

His voice came from beside me; its demonic rumble sending cold shivers down my spine. Instinctively I flooded my arms with qi and cowered to protect myself.

”Pathetic.”

A thunderous punch slammed into my ribcage, crumpling my body and sending me skidding across the floor.

For a few seconds, I felt nothing, my body stuck in terrifying anticipation. Then, it came.

A surge of agony burning like lava, tearing my body into molten shards. I gasped, and a lancing pain shot into my side, stopping my breath.

”You're big for your age. It's a shame that you're so… soft.”

Panic set in as my breathing became short, shallow and panicked. Only one thought filled my mind.

Run.

I crawled pathetically to the door, arms flailing on the smooth granite. It wasn't that far away! I could escape! I could get out of here!

”Running's not an option, Schwarz.”

In an instant, he was in front of me. His golden arms grabbed me by the wrists and hung me in the air like a pig for the slaughter. Tai drew his fist back and lifted one knee up high.

He stamped on the floor with a reverberating crack, lunged forwards, then crushed my innards with a devastating punch. My body swung from his arms as I seized up and retched.

”Disgusting.”

Another hammering blow struck my side, cracking my ribs. My whole body screamed in pain as I was tenderised like a slab of meat. But no sound escaped my lips.

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't speak. I couldn't cry. A sickening lull of acceptance washed over me. I would die here.

”Useless.”

Another blow came, cracking my sternum. But to my ravaged senses, it was only a dull thud.

Time slipped away as the punches rained down. My mind retracted, and I became distant, like a stranger to my own body.

I was so arrogant, thinking I could become a fighter. I was never a fighter in my past life - when the going got tough, I just gave up.

I had fooled myself into believing something had changed. That somehow, I was a different person. But really, Tai was right. I was pathetic. I was useless. I was weak.

Real hardship? I had never felt that. Any pain or struggle was self-imposed. Maybe mother was right too. I could have lived an easy life working in the village.

Was this what Sirius wanted? To show me that, no matter the world, I was just a waste of a person?

I languished in apathy and self-deprecation, waiting for the torture to be over. Whether I lived or died was no longer up to me. My actions would change nothing.

I expected to find relief in this acceptance. But a strange, uncomfortable feeling squirmed under the surface. A persistent restlessness that wouldn't let me be at peace.

That restlessness... I hadn't felt it for years - not since I came to this world. It was the feeling that let me know I was betraying myself. A feeling that told me I was doing something wrong.

What desire had set me on this path? What had sent me into an eight-year cultivation frenzy? These had been the most productive eight years of my life… but why?

Was it that I dreamed of cultivation? No, that wasn't quite it. Of course, the fantasy was incredible, but when dreams become reality, they tend to disappoint.

My drive wasn't fantasy. It was the quest for power. The quest for approval, for recognition, for a chance to show people what I could be.

I hated the weak side of me that just wanted to give up. For too long, I had let that side control my life. But there was another side to me. The side that held contempt for what I had become.

It was the side that strived for meaning. The side that knew I could do something with my life. I had ignored it for so long that it had withered and almost died.

But it was still there. It was the side of me that could find happiness.

If I just lay here, I wouldn't be able to live with myself. I would go back down into the hole that Sirius pulled me out of.

It was time to change.

My mind raced for options. I was trapped by an overwhelming force, hanging on the verge of death. Was there even a way out?