Chapter 176: I Am An Athlete (1/2)

Chapter 176: I Am An Athlete

Translator: Nyoi-Bo StudioEditor: Nyoi-Bo Studio

Helping people in need was a good thing, but for some reason Sijie Yang felt sad. He was deep in thought by the time he returned home. He felt like he had lost someone he loved.

A feeling of losing someone I love… Sijie Yang laughed at himself. He had never been in a relationship before, so how could he know what it felt like to break up with someone?

Sijie Yang shook the feeling, opened his computer, then transferred the photos to his computer and started looking at them.

Bad; deleted!

This one isn't good either; deleted.

And this one too, ugh. Deleted!

Sijie Yang looked at the photos he had taken this morning, deleting two-thirds of them. He then began going through them a second time. By the time he was done there were only about ten photos left. But the longer he stared at the photos, the more he wanted to delete them all.

Sijie Yang suddenly came to the realization that he was really bad at taking pictures. The pictures taken by college students in the photography festival were much better than his.

Sijie Yang was bummed out. He had always been the best at almost everything he did; this was something he had inherited from his father. Every time he wanted to do something, he could always do it well.

But today, he had to admit that he was bad at taking photos.

Sijie Yang sighed. He opened his computer and went on a few photographers' blogs to see their latest photos. The more time he spent appreciating their works, the worse he felt about his own.

I need to practice more. As they say, practice makes perfect!

Sijie Yang looked outside the window as he thought this. The weather was really nice today; the sun was about to set. Sijie Yang took his camera out again to capture the moment.

…

Two hours later, Sijie Yang returned home. He looked at the photos he had just taken, still looking bummed.

This is not the effect I was going for! Sijie Yang thought to himself silently, sighing.

Ding-dong! It was his WeChat. Sijie Yang checked his phone. He had received a group message from the Tsinghua University shutterbugs. One of the group members had just posted some pictures of the sunset.

This is so much better than my photos. It was said that the only way to avoid getting your feelings hurt was to not compare yourself to anyone. Now, Sijie Yang suddenly felt bitter.

At this moment, Sijie Yang felt like although he had wanted to be a photographer, once he had actually started doing it, it didn't bring him the satisfaction or joy he had expected. He used to get excited when he thought of his so-called ”photography skills,” and was eager to try and test those skills. However, he did not feel excited at all this time.

Sijie Yang felt weird. He picked up his brand new camera again and put it down on the chair.

He had dreamt of this camera for a long time, and had been over the moon when he had gotten it. However, Sijie Yang could no longer feel the happiness and excitement he had felt when he had first gotten it. He felt like a child who had craved a toy and tried everything to get his parents buy it for him. Now that he had finally gotten it, he felt nothing.

At this moment, Sijie Yang suddenly realized that his enthusiasm for photography was declining.

A three-minute passion! Sijie Yang thought of the Chinese saying. Though he did not want to admit it, he was now a vivid example of the phrase.

I want to be a photographer! Sijie Yang murmured, trying to convince himself. However, in his heart, there was a voice saying, No, I am an athlete!

All of a sudden, Sijie Yang thought back to when the policeman had asked him if he was an athlete and he had said yes right right away. Sijie Yang knew it had been out of instinct. He had answered it without a second thought.

Why is this happening? I am supposed to hate sprinting. I am supposed to hate being an athlete! Sijie Yang was confused. The more deeply he thought about this, the more he wanted to go back to being a sprinter. All of a sudden, Sijie Yang was beginning to realize that after five years of sprint training, he had already become a sprinter in his own mind.

But I don't want to be an athlete, I want to be a photographer! Sijie Yang was annoyed by this thought. He grabbed his camera, trying to convince himself that his real dream was becoming a photographer.

As he held the camera in his hands, it became heavier. It now felt like more than a camera; it had become a burden for Sijie Yang! And the root of this burden was the thought of being a photographer!