Chapter 60 (1/2)

Chapter 60 Original and most updated translations are from volaretranslations

Han Zichuan left quietly Since he was the reigning emperor, I couldn’t kill hiet to issue a decree to su after my daily affairs I suspected uards in place, Han Zichuan was probably worried that I’d follow in Fang Hua’s footsteps if I took things too hard

He was such an idiot As the Carefree Idler, ould I kill myself so easily? If I died…then there’d be no one to save Fang Hua Auturew colder and colder In the past, the precious plants here were so doted on by Fang Hua that they bloo to flower all over the hills Now that Fang Hua had passed away, they turned still as well, docilely growing as convention dictated with no wild profusion of seeds

The yellow earth hill became more desolate as well

Dressed in thick robes, I squatted on the ground to watch after that Fang Hua wood, a faint pain throbbing from my wrist

“Master,” a soft voice called fronored it

“Master, the wind’s getting stronger Let’s go back inside,” Little Li bent down to look at ave hi off at a point, his breaths obviously unsteady This ti ide eyes at what I was doing

“You’re…this is…” his flurried voice shook in confusion I actually sain

—

I’d cut a bit deep this tih to remind me that I could still experience pain…I wasn’t so corpse, but someone who could still feel…

“Master, the emperor told s,” Little Li said angrily, suddenly standing up straight He staauze and pills fro ht some medicine with me when I left the house Just in time, you…why do you have so many cuts, e do if it scars?”

“Don’t go to all that trouble,” I looked at hied up this wound, won’t I need to use ti another one?”

“Why are you so cruel to yourself? Look at what’s happened to you in these days,” Little Li looked at aze slowly lowered to the dozens of ugly scars onpleasure in their existence

Yes…theyHua wouldn’t care He needed ive it My ! When I looked up, Little Li was kneeling on the ground, head down as his body trembled uncontrollably He looked ready to cry “Master, it’s your servant who’s unworthy”

I quietly looked at hi all his courage

“During his life, Lord Hua was extreood to your servant Later on, your servant came to serve you Many times, your servant wanted to remind you of the past, but the words dared not leave my lips…to tell the truth, when the emperor told your servant to send you to Lord Hua’s house, your servant wouldn’t have done it even if I died”

“It’s thanks to you that I got to spend the re days with him”

“Your servant was really happy for a while, but if your servant had known this would happen, your servant would’ve refused even if I died”

“I spentthat time”

He stared blankly atearnestly, “This time, even if your servant loses his life, I’ll make sure to keep you and Lord Hua safe”

I smiled, a peaceful and tranquil s his sleeves to wipe his face He tooksoftly on the injury there

“The cut’s not deep, really…I’ht be able to wake up fro over with joy

—

Day after day passed

I don’t kno reeaker and weaker until I nearly fainted a few tirewprinces came a few times, but I refused to see them I really didn’t want them to catch me in this state I knew rew to fear the cold more and more, so that I’d spenta day’s worth of fire wasn’t enough to warm me up With my body like this, no forms of tonics could help me

The cuts on rown numb to the point that I barely felt any pain My hands were now mostly useless, as they shook when I even tried to use chopsticks Later on I told Little Li to forget about chopsticks and give me a spoon (shao zi)[1]

Shao’er…

I couldn’t help but laugh My life was reduced to using a spoon The naave me really was best

—

“Master, you’ve been coughing a lot recently I want to find a doctor for you”

“My own noseI can fix, I doubt another doctor will, either”

“That’s no good,” Little Li stared at me “No matter what you say, illnesses should still be treated The doctor’s already on the way” When he finished, his voice dropped “Just listen toI did secretly so the emperor wouldn’t know”

Huddled up on the chair, baking before the fire, I gave a soft ‘hn’ of consent He saze slowly crept to him I still didn’t understand Little Li The first ti eunuch, but a blink of the eye had him as the e the burden of looking after a useless person like uilty conscience, but who knehat h the court was always delivering food and tonics, the e so for ive up…or ive up for the rest of my life

This was fine, too…a broken body likeanyone dared to take in

I stretched lazily as I slowly got off the chair Little Li wanted to hold out a hand to support htly better today, ar Hua

The yellow earth hill was as desolate as before, but a tree by the grave mound had sprouted buds that looked like plu around to Fang Hua, bending down to slowly squat on the ground, blowing aside the dried leaves gathered on the earth Then I weakly sat down

There had been frost last night, so it was still a little chilly I gave a yawn as I looked sideways at the pitch-black Fang Hua wood stuck in the earth S, I leaned forward to stroke the wood “Why is it so hard for you to change into red wood?”

I s at it idiotically “Master, I’ve brought your favorite red lotuses again…I don’t have enough strength any dew froes”

If this was like a typical day, he’d definitely say so like, ‘you’ve worked hard, Shao’er,’ But now there was only this branch of dead wood standing solitarily in the soil, co as I touched that glossy black Fang Hua wood This ti exhausted heart I buriedmy face on coarse sleeves, and tried my best not to cry

“Did you think about leaving me behind beforehand? You said you wanted to drink the wine I brewed for you And you said that after you got well you’d make some warm mantou for me But I left you when you needed ht?” The wind blew noisily, but the surroundings were quiet enough for me to hear my own heart beat