32 Reconciled (1/2)

I hadn't spent long in the abyss before I regained consciousness, I slowly opened my eyes to the fluttering canvas of a tent, I was laying on a cot. When I tried moving my head pain flared through my body, I was sore everywhere and it felt like some bones in my arms were fractured, a few ribs might be broken too.

Something pulled me back and I was forced to lay back, looking into Lili's deep blue eyes staring at me with concern.

Rage filled me, I rolled off of her lap, my entire body screamed in opposition. I slowly staggered to my feet and tried to limp away, but she held onto my arm with a strong grip. I tried to pull my arm from her grip, but she stood firm. Forced to face her, I glowered at her with disgust, but she ignored it saying earnestly.

”Christian, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean for any of this to happen. But I can explain myself if you can just hear me out.” I shook my head slowly without taking my eyes off her.

”What is there to talk about, you betrayed me. You sold me out to your brother, I trusted you with everything I had, but that never mattered. You took my heart and crushed it, you betrayed me and left me to die.” I huffed.

It broke my heart to say, but I've been through too much. I've been fighting for so long and I've lost so much, I'm.... I'm just so tired. Being with Lili restored me, just her smile filled with me with relief. It made her betrayal hurt that much more, I felt devastated, I still do.

Anger chokes me, and I can barely hold her gaze. I need to get out of here, I can't bear looking at her anymore. Feelings of hopelessness and loneliness permeates through me, reminding me what awaits me if I leave.

Surprisingly she hugged me, she squeezed me tightly and said. ”I love you, Christian, I would die in your stead. I'm sorry I deceived you, but if you've ever felt anything for me, then please listen.”

I sighed but turned to listen for her sake. She let go of my wrist and held my hand in both of hers, she stared into my eyes and said.

”We were doing well traveling at night and using spells to mask our presence, but when we were eating the meal you prepared for us that night, everything was fine until the wind changed direction. Only then I realized that we were completely surrounded by beastmen, that's why I was acting so nervous.” Her eyes were glistening and she had to choke back a sob.

”If I would have told you, then they would have heard and killed us both, if we would have fought then we both would have died. I knew there was only one way to save you, but I couldn't bring myself to chose it.

Christian, I didn't do what I did easily, even you wouldn't be able to fight off that many beastmen at once. You were barely able to defeat Rett as it is.

So once I knew you were asleep I met with Rett and negotiated for your life, he was determined to kill you as revenge for our uncle Robart who was the commander of the town I was stationed in. I was only able to convince him to spare your life if I helped capture you.”

Tears ran down her cheeks like shooting stars from shimmered like a stary night out of those sparkling blue eyes. Eyes that were filled with love

She wrapped her arms around me and dug her face deep into my chest crying. Her body trembled with each sob, I was taken aback at first, but instinctively I rubbed her back soothingly and whispered calming words of affirmation.

Through sobs, she muttered. ”I...I almost killed you! I'm so sorry, I..I was just trying to save you. I terrified when you were fighting, I tried to reach you, I tried to help but I couldn't. I could do nothing but watch, they forced me to watch!”

My bare chest became damp with tears, she buried her face deeper, refusing to let go in fear of me being taken away. I sat with her in my arms as she cried helplessly like a baby.

”I'm terrible, I should have told you about them or warned you somehow. I was just so afraid, the thought of losing you makes my whole body ache. I know you must hate me, I've been a terrible burden to you, I've done nothing but harm you. I'm sorry Christian, I... I think we should stay away from each other, I don't want to burden you anymore.”