25 Restoring (1/2)

After Jake's departure, months went by in a blur. I spent that fighting, alone. I used ”guerrilla” tactics as Sir Richard called them. Fighting at night, striking from the shadows, entire platoons of demons would fall one by one. When dawn came, I was long departed, and all they would find were undisturbed camps filled with corpses.

I never got much sleep during those months, every time my eyes would close I would see their faces. Most the time it was Rachel's face contorted with a desperate plea on the edge of her lips, but never speaking it. That would be a small blessing, to hear their voices one last time, but the only sound I hear during those nightmares are the screams of those I've killed.

I always wake up drenched in a cold sweat. My own voice always wakes me, asking for forgiveness me or me begging them to come back. I've moved my camp to a secluded spot of the woods where my torment cant bother anyone but me.

I spend almost every day alone, I hardly spend time in the company of others if it's not mandatory. It's not from lack of effort from them, there have been quite a few people that have tried to approach me, but they're always rebuffed by my insolent demeanor. It's not their fault, I just can't talk to others without thinking about them, the only time I feel somewhat at peace is when I'm alone.

It hurts to think about them, I miss them so much. There's not a moment that goes by that I don't regret what I've done or haven't done. Life's a lot harder than I thought It was, I thought that dealing with a loss would be easier, but thankfully I have my wisp to keep me company.

Up until now, I've only used it for information or some other application, but now I find that its the only friend I can speak with. Which would be weird since it doesn't speak, but I've come to appreciate that. It has its own personality, I've learned that it turns different shades at different responses. It flickers and moves in certain ways that display some amount of cognizance.

I can even feel pulses of emotion from it, it's vague and you only really realize it when you're looking for it, but it gives little waves of warmth and affection. I never really realized any of this before because I never really focused on the wisp, just its abilities. I forgot that its a living being, that has emotions and feelings.

If I didn't have this little guy, then I would probably lose the ability to speak, or the desire to. It's been a small kindness in a pool of despair.

I watched as the pink orb of light hovered around me excitedly as I sit in a branch of a tall tree, ”I haven't named you yet, have I?” I said aloud. What should I name it? I thought for a few seconds then said. ”Shadow.” It does follow me like one, but that's too dark for it. It dimmed, I imagine that meant no. Its pink shade is more feminine than that, but what could its name be?

I think for a long while thinking of synonyms, finally, I come up with a satisfactory answer. Smiling, I looked at the pink orb floating expectantly in front of me and said.

”Shade, how about that? You're like a little shade in the blazing dunes of an endless desert giving me a small bit of relief. How's that, do you like it?”

The little orb whisked around the tree I sat in, glowing brighter. I tried stopping it, asking. ”So I assume you like it?” A burst of warmth entered my body, confirming my query. This made me smile, grateful to be able to make the small orb happy.

I heard a quivering voice from under me. ”kn..Knight Christian, Lt. May need to brief you. Could you please visit his tent, if you wouldn't mind?”

Retracting Shade I dropped off the branch, using [Gale Dampen] to slow my descent. I land soundlessly in front of a shaking private. He looks at me, trying to hide his fear. Over the past few months, I've gotten a...reputation. My handy work and my elusiveness have earned me the name ”Crimson Shadow”, I don't care too much for the name. I would much rather have something like ”Brave Heart.” or ”Burning Fire Fighter”, or something less rouge-like. But I guess my actions have been anything but brave.

”Is this about a squad assignment again?” I ask irritably

The private shakes his head quickly explaining. ”No, no, not that. He just has a mission that he wants you to take part in, you don't have to lead anyone.”

”Fine,” I say gruffly and walk past the private towards the main camp.