Part 23 (1/2)
Kindly treated by persons of every description, I entirely gaveexcluded froion different from that of my forefathers, I resolved openly to return to the latter I thought the gospel being the saious opinions the result of the explanations given by men to that which they did not understand, it was the exclusive right of the sovereign power in every country to fix the ible opinions; and that consequently it was the duty of a citizen to admit the one, and conform to the other in the manner prescribed by the law The conversation of the encyclopaedists, far froth by my natural aversion to disputes and party The study of man and the universe had everywhere shown me the final causes and the wisdo of the Bible, and especially that of the New Testament, to which I had for several years past applied n conteiven to the words of Jesus Christ by persons the least worthy of understanding his divine doctrine In a word, philosophy, while it attached ion, had detached me from the trash of the little for that for a reasonablea Christian, I was also of opinion that in each country everything relative to form and discipline ithin the jurisdiction of the laws Froht upon me such cruel persecutions, it followed that, if I wished to be a citizen of Geneva, I must become a Protestant, and conform to the mode of worshi+p established in my country This I resolved upon; I moreover put myself under the instructions of the pastor of the parish in which I lived, and which ithout the city All I desired was not to appear at the consistory However, the ecclesiastical edict was expressly to that effect; but it was agreed upon to dispense with it in my favor, and a commission of five or six members was named to receive my profession of faith Unfortunately, the minister Perdriau, a mild and an amiable man, took it into his head to tellme speak in the little asse night and day during three weeks studied a little discourse I had prepared, I was so confused when I ought to have pronounced it that I could not utter a single word, and during the conference I had the appearance of the most stupid schoolboy The persons deputed spoke for me, and I answered yes and no, like a blockhead; I was afterwards adhts as a citizen I was enrolled as such in the lists of guards, paid by none but citizens and burgesses, and I attended at a council-general extraordinary to receive the oath from the syndic Mussard I was so impressed with the kindness shown me on this occasion by the council and the consistory, and by the great civility and obliging behavior of the istrates, ministers and citizens, that, pressed by the worthy De Luc, as incessant in his persuasions, and stillback to Paris for any other purpose than to break up housekeeping, find a situation for M and Madam le Vassear, or provide for their subsistence, and then return with Theresa to Geneva, there to settle for the rest ofthis resolution I suspended all serious affairs the better to enjoy the company of my friends until the time of my departure
Of all the amusements of which I partook, that hich I wasround the lake in a boat, with De Luc, the father, his daughter-in-law, his two sons, and ave seven days to this excursion in the finest weather possible I preserved a lively remembrance of the situation which struck me at the other extreave a description in my New Eloisa
The principal connections I made at Geneva, besides the De Lucs, of which I have spoken, were the young Vernes, hom I had already been acquainted at Paris, and of whom I then formed a better opinion than I afterwards had of him M Perdriau, then a country pastor, now professor of Belles Lettres, whose ret the loss of it, although he has since thought proper to detach himself from me; M Jalabert, at that time professor of natural philosophy, since become counsellor and syndic, to whom I read my discourse upon Inequality (but not the dedication), hich he seehted; the Professor Lullin, hoave me a commission to purchase books for the library; the Professor Vernet, who, like iven hiht to, have been sensible, if a theologian can be affected by anything; Chappins, clerk and successor to Gauffecourt, whom he wished to supplant, and who, soon afterwards, was him self supplanted; Marcet de Mezieres, an old friend of my father's, and who had also shown hi well deserved of his country, he beca to be of the council of two hundred, changed his principles, and, before he died, became ridiculous
But he fro ination, whoh his conduct with respect toconnected with my most cruel enemies, whom I cannot but look upon as destined to becoer of his friend
In the midst of these dissipations, I neither lost the taste for my solitary excursions, nor the habit of the ones upon the banks of the lake, during which ested the plan already formed of my political institutions, of which I shall shortly have to speak; I edy in prose, the subject of which, nothing less than Lucretia, did not deprive ain to exhibit that unfortunate heroine, when she could no longer be suffered upon any French stage I at that time tried my abilities with Tacitus, and translated the first books of his history, which will be found ast my papers
After a residence of four months at Geneva, I returned in the h Lyons that I e at Geneva until the spring following, I returned, during the winter, to my habits and occupations; the principal of the latter was exa the proof sheets of my discourse on the Inequality of Mankind, which I had procured to be printed in Holland, by the bookseller Rey, hom I had just become acquainted at Geneva This as dedicated to the republic; but as the publicationto the council, I wished to wait until it had taken its effect at Geneva before I returned thither This effect was not favorable to me; and the dedication, which the most pure patriotism had dictated, created esses with jealousy M Chouet, at that time first syndic, wrote st st others from Du Luc and De Jalabert, a few cole Genevese was pleased with the hearty zeal found in the work
This indifference shocked all those by who one day at Clichy, at Madam Dupin's, with Crommelin, resident from the republic, and M de Mairan, the latter openly declared the council owed me a present and public honors for the work, and that it would dishonor itself if it failed in either Crommelin, as a black and mischievous little rimace, which however forced a se this work procuredfrom the satisfaction of iven me by my friends, afterwards by the public after their exa too well merited
This ill success would not, however, have preventedto Geneva, had not more powerful motives tended to the sa which anting to the chateau of the Chevrette, was at an i one day with Mada, we continued our walk a quarter of a league further to the reservoir of the waters of the park which joined the forest of Montarden, with a little lodge, e
This solitary and very agreeable place had struck me when I saw it for the first time before my journey to Geneva I had exclaihtful habitation! This asylum was purposely prepared for me” Madam D'Epinay did not pay much attention to what I said; but at this second journey I was quite surprised to find, instead of the old decayed building, a little house almost entirely neell laid out, and very habitable for a little family of three persons
Madam D'Epinay had caused this to be done in silence, and at a very s a few materials and some of the workmy surprise: ”My dear, here behold your asylum; it is you who have chosen it; friendshi+p offers it to you I hope this will re froly or more deliciously affected I bathed with tears the beneficent hand of my friend; and if I were not conquered froered Mada, employed soeven so far as to gain over Madath she triu in my own country, I resolved, I pro was drying, Mada was ready the following spring
One thing which greatly aided , was the residence Voltaire had chosen near Geneva; I easily comprehended this man would cause a revolution there, and that I should find in my country the manners, which drove me from Paris; that I should be under the necessity of incessantly struggling hard, and have no other alternative than that of being an unsupportable pedant, a poltroon, or a bad citizen
The letter Voltaire wrote me on my last work, induced me to insinuate my fears in my answer; and the effect this produced confirmed them
From that moment I considered Geneva as lost, and I was not deceived
I perhaps ought to haveit But what could I have done alone, tiant, opulent, supported by the credit of the great, eloquent, and already the idol of the wobut my peaceful disposition, to my love of repose, which, if it then deceived me, still continues to deceiveto Geneva, I should have avoided great misfortunes; but I have my doubts whether, with all my ardent and patriotic zeal, I should have been able to effect anything great and useful for my country
Tronchin, who about the same time went to reside at Geneva, caht with him treasures At his arrival he came to seedesire to consult him in private, but this it was not easy to do
She addressed herself to o and see her
Thus under an a connection, which was afterwards increased at my expense Such has ever been my destiny: the moment I had united two friends ere separately h, in the conspiracy then formed by the Tronchins, they must all have borne me a mortal hatred He still continued friendly to me: he even wrote me a letter after his return to Geneva, to propose to me the place of honorary librarian But I had taken my resolution, and the offer did not teain visited M d'Holbach My visit was occasioned by the death of his wife, which, as well as that of Madam Francueil, happened whilst I was at Geneva Diderot, when he communicated to me these melancholy events, spoke of the deep affliction of the husband
His grief affected rieved for the loss of that excellent woman, and wrote to M d'Holbach a letter of condolence
I forgot all the wrongs he had done me, and at my return from Geneva, and after he had made the tour of France with Grimm and other friends to alleviate his affliction, I went to see hie As soon as it was known in his circle that Mada me a habitation there, innumerable sarcasms, founded upon the want I must feel of the flattery and a able to support the solitude for a fortnight, were uttered againstwithin myself how I stood affected, I left him and his friends to say what they pleased, and pursued my intention M d'Holbach rendereda place for the old Le Vasseur, as eighty years of age and a burden to his wife, froed me to relieve her
[This is an instance of the treachery oftime after I had written what I have stated above, I learned, in conversing with my wife, that it was not M d'Holbach, but M de Chenonceaux, then one of the administrators of the Hotel Dieu, who procured this place for her father I had so totally forgotten the circu done it was so strong in my mind that I would have sworn it had been him]
He was put into a house of charity, where, al hirave His wife and all his children, except Theresa, did not ret his loss But she, who loved hiiven herself for having suffered hie, to end his days in any other house than her own
Much about the sah it was from a very old acquaintance My friend Venture, acco by surprise What a change did I discover in his person! Instead of his forar, which made me extremely reserved with him My eyes deceived me, or either debauchery had stupefied his mind, or all his first splendor was the effect of his youth, which was past I saw him almost with indifference, and we parted rather coolly But when he was gone, the rely called to ly, so prudently dedicated to that angelic woed than himself; the little anecdotes of that happy time, the romantic day of Toune passed with so irls, from whom a kiss of the hand was the only favor, and which, notwithstanding its being so trifling, had left rets; and the ravishi+ng deliriu heart, which I had just felt in all its force, and of which I thought the season forever past for htful circumstances made me shed tears over my faded youth and its transports for ever lost to me Ah! how many tears should I have shed over their tardy and fatal return had I foreseen the evils I had yet to suffer fro the winter which preceded my retreat, a pleasure after my own heart, and of which I tasted in all its purity Palissot, academician of Nancy, known by a few dramatic compositions, had just had one of the of Poland He perhaps thought toin his piece a man who had dared to enter into a literary dispute with the king Stanislaus, as generous, and did not like satire, was filled with indignation at the author's daring to be personal in his presence
The Comte de Tressan, by order of the prince, wrote to M d'Alembert, as well as to myself, to inform me that it was the intention of his majesty to have Palissot expelled his acade solicitation in favor of Palissot, begging M de Tressan to intercede with the king in his behalf His pardon was granted, and M de Tressan, when he communicated to me the information in the name of the monarch, added that the whole of what had passed should be inserted in the register of the acade a pardon than perpetuating a punishth, after repeated solicitations, I obtained a pro relative to the affair should be inserted in the register, and that no public trace should remain of it
The pro as on that of M de Tressan, with assurance of esteem and respect, hich I was extremely flattered; and I felt on this occasion that the esteem of men who are themselves worthy of it, produced in thethan that of vanity I have transcribed into my collection the letters of M de Tressan, with inal of the forst my other papers
I am perfectly aware that if ever these memoirs become public, I here perpetuate the remembrance of a fact which I would wish to efface every trace; but I transrand object of , constantly beforeit to its ut considerations, which would lead e and unparalleled situation, I owe too much to truth to be further than this indebted to any person whatever