Part 23 (1/2)
In England, whatever objections Protestants mayis done decently and in order
The laxity, however, in the Italian churches is, or was until recently, beyond belief, and every traveller brought home so ”an old English Catholic,” was frequently distressed by these irregularities, and she never hesitated to reprove the offending priests One day a priest who had called at Burton's house was requested to conduct a brief service in Mrs Burton's private chapel But the way in which he went through the various ceremonies so displeased Mrs Burton that she called out to hilish Catholic--and therefore particular
You are not doing it right--Stand aside, please, and let me show you”
So the astonished priest stood aside, and Mrs Burton went through all the gesticulations, genuflexions, etcetera, in the arded the scene with suppressed amusement When all was over, he touched the priest on the shoulder and said gravely and slowly, pointing to Mrs Burton: ”Do you knoho this is? It is my wife And you know she will soed--we ainst her But when the sentence is being pronounced she will jump up and say: 'Stop! stop! please pardon lish Catholic'”
To one house, the hostess of which was one of the most fashi+onable women in London, Burton, no o He disliked the lady and that was enough ”Here's an invitation for all of us to Lady ----'s,” said Mrs Burton to hi, this tio just for Lisa's sake It's a shaood society Other people go, why shouldn't we? Eh, darling?”
”What won't people do,” growled Burton, ”for the sake of a dinner!”
Eventually, however, after an explosion, and he'd be asterisked if he would, and ht the lady herself be asterisked, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera, ”dick Darling” was coaxed over, and he, Mrs Burton and Lisa at the appointed tilory of war paint, and in due course were ushered into the detested house
As he approached the hostess she looked steadily at hi to a companion, said with a drawl: ”Isn't it horrid, ht”
”That's what coot hoht everybody else be asterisked, if he'd enter that asterisked house again Then the huer dissolved into the usual hearty laughter
One very marked feature of Burton's character was that, like his father, he always endeavoured to do and say what he thought was right, quite regardless of appearances and consequences And we
On one occasion [379] he and another Englishraded hiuests at a country house ”Allow me, Captain Burton,” said the host, ”to introduce you to the other principal guest of the evening, Mr ----” Looking Mr ---- in the face, Burton said: ”When I am in Persia I aland I aentleman,” and then he turned his back on Mr ----and left hienerally known, those ere present at the scene ed their shoulders and said: ”Only another of Burton's eccentricities” A few months, later, however, Mr ---'s record received publicity, and Burton's conduct and words were understood
One of Burton's lady relations being about to entleman as not only needy but also brainless, soroom-elect
”Not much,” replied Burton, drily, ”he has no furniture inside or out”
To ”oldin them that roused all the most devilish rancours in his nature; and he used to tell them tales till the poor ladies did not knohere to tuck their heads When reproved afterwards by Mrs Burton, he would say: ”Yaas, yaas, no doubt; but they shouldn't be oldthe truth, for nobody ever believes you” He did, however, once refer complimentarily to a maiden lady--a certain Saint Apollonia who leaped into a fire prepared for her by the heathen Alexandrians
He called her ”This admirable old maid” Her chief virtue in his eyes, however, seems to have been not her fidelity to her principles, but the fact that she got rid of herself, and so made one old maid fewer
”What shall we do with our old maids?” he would ask, and then answer the question hi they would ainst saints, and said of one, ”I presume she was so called because of the enorh Mrs Burton often reproved her husband for his barbed and irritating ree on it Witness her reply to Mrs X, who declared that when she met Burton she was inexpressibly shocked by his Chaucerian conversation and Canopic wit
”I can quite believe,” commented Mrs Burton, sweetly, ”that on occasions when no lady was present Richard's conversation ”
How tasteful is this anecdote, as they say in The Nights, ”and how enjoyable and delectable”
111 Burton begins his Translation, April 1884
As we have already observed, Mr Payne's 500 copies of the Thousand Nights and a Night were promptly snapped up by the public and 1,500 persons had to endure disappoint out a new edition” ”I have pledged myself,” replied Mr
Payne, ”not to reproduce the book in an unexpurgated form”
”Then,” said Burton, ”Let me publish a new edition in my own name and account to you for the profits--it seeenerous and kind-hearted, but, from a literary point of view, immoral proposition; and Mr Payne at once rejected it, declaring that he could not be a party to a breach of faith with the subscribers in any shape or form Mr Payne's virtue was, pecuniarily and otherwise, its punishment Still, he has had the pleasure of a clear conscience Burton, however, being, as always, short of money, felt deeply for these 1,500 disappointed subscribers, ere holding out their nine-guinea cheques in vain; and he then said ”Should you object toan entirely new translation?” To which, of course, Mr Payne replied that he could have no objection whatever