Part 22 (2/2)

But I knew ed I would always be the same person Same skills, same personality, same character traits

The story of the coke bottles was a wonderful parting gift I didn't need to be a new person I needed a new purpose If I could follow Ella's lead-live si, help others-e would be whether I could hold on to, and re siht be the easiest Many of my temptations would be out of reach I'd never be asked to be on the board of directors of a bank I'd never be asked to serve as treasurer of a club I'd never be elected to the vestry of a church or be asked to head up the stewardshi+p coainst reat model If I could embrace my criminal conviction, if I could be transparent about my scars and indebtedness, not hide them, just like Ella did with her leprosy, it would be a step in the right direction I even had a few things working in my favor The e city, my felony conviction would be easy to hide But in Oxford, I would have no choice I couldn't hide ood

I didn't know exactly how to go about helping others But if I could rereat acts are the small, quiet ones that no one hears about, that would be a start I could look for ways to help people in need of a boost, to align s I needed to remember Ella and Harry Their intent Perhaps it didn'tas the ain attention

I liked that the bottles were chipped and broken They were daoods Nonreturnable I felt the sao back to the place I'd been I could never regain my reputation and credibility I would never have a flawless i e Walter Gex said, ”Eighteen months in federal prison,” I couldn't believe what I was hearing After i as a convicted felon and recited a long list of restrictions I didn't re words As he left the courtroom, he looked at me as if he had been troubled by his decision

”Neil,” he said, ”I hope you can ood coht as a federal prisoner, a few inanized a party in an empty room in the Dutchtown unit They all pitched in and e fro machine were spread out on paper towels Larry played his fiddle, the one tune he knew, and we recounted stories of the last year We laughed about Smeltzer's muffuletta sche for ”cubicle hairs” in the women's restroom I smiled whenever soano, or Ms Woodsen's butt

We were the last of the inether, even in prison The party didn't feelaround a fire telling stories about the session But ouldn't see each other next suuard told us to shut the party down Brady passed out se addresses and phone numbers Gary reminded us that these would soon be obsolete since we'd be co called the World Wide Web, but I was skeptical

On ain April 25, 1994 Neil White Receiving and Discharge 8:00 AM AM

I emptied my locker and left ave -sleeve T-shi+rt to Sergio Then I packed the rest of s: a few pairs of socks, six T-shi+rts, five books, photographs, and a few re fit into two cardboard boxes s to io Then I packed the rest of s: a few pairs of socks, six T-shi+rts, five books, photographs, and a few re fit into two cardboard boxes

I set my alarm for 7:00 AM AM and climbed into my prison bunk for the very last tiht and waited for sleep to come

PART VI

My Last Day April 25, 1994

CHAPTER 80

I dropped e, in the sao Then I walked to the cafeteria to say good-bye to the kitchen staff I wanted to go into the patient dining hall to say good-bye to my friends on the leprosy side, but I didn't want to risk breaking the rules on h the lattice wall, but I couldn't get their attention

After a breakfast of french toast and sausage, I ed to ht to say our goodbyes On my way, I encountered Father Reynolds and reminded him it was my last day He stepped off his bike, put his hands onThen he said in his soft, sta voice that I elcome in the Catholic church anytiood-bye to the six or seven inmates who still attended class I thanked Patty, the librarian, for her efforts, especially for forh the library door and interrupted ”You leaving today, Mr White?” she asked

”Yes,comin'” She smiled I think Ms Woodsen liked ood wishes, and I felt bad about laughing at the jokes about her rear

Ms Carter, the education secretary, started to cry when I entered her office ”I' her nose with a tissue, ”but soood inmates”

Mr Poven to ed my presence I hoped he would drop the hard-line attitude on

I walked around the inuards here now as iner, a lieutenant, and the assistant warden I even said good-bye to Mr Flowers, who nodded and said ”Good luck, Mr White” He said my name like it tasted bad in his mouth

I strolled past the handball courts and stopped at the breezehere I was to meet Ella and Harry As I waited for them to arrive, I took in the colony one more time I breathed in the deep aroma of the banana trees I looked hard at the sun's rays as they cut through the branches of the live oaks I watched some inmates ine I would seethe time

My mother and father waited outside They had been divorced for alreet ine how they felt about my prospects A thirty-three-yearold son with massive debt, a felony conviction, no job, no home, no spouse, two children, and accumulated assets that fit into two cardboard boxes They orried, understandably

And I was too My hands were a bit shaky

But I did feel fortunate I had made friends with men and women I never would have known on the outside-Doc and Link, Frank Ragano and Dan Duchaine And of course Harry and Ella Link was right about one thing: none of us would have been friends anywhere else

I wouldelse I would miss time Time to daydream Time to walk Time to pay attention Time to plan adventures for my new life, a new life with reat doesn't alwaysAnd time, especially, with Ella

I had no idea if I would ever see her again I would be on federal probation for five years I would not be allowed to leave Oxford without perardless of what Father Reynolds said, I assumed the public health authorities would not welcome ex-cons back to Carville I didn't know if I'd ever have another conversation with Ella I had no idea how long she would live

I was excited, but also apprehensive Excited about building a new hoie Overjoyed I would see them every day Hopeful I could make up for this year apart But I was also afraid Afraid of going back out to a place that held so many temptations for me Afraid I would make promises I couldn't keep Afraid I would try to impress people with hoell I would recover fro to Oxford, where as a child I'd been scarred by a fall, and where as an adult I had acted so recklessly I was afraid I would build new prisons forbefore I was convicted of a crime

I heard Jimmy Harris squeeze the horn attached to his tricycle handles He peddled towardfellow,” he said I shook Jienerous with his stories

”Well,” he said, ”I just fell in love with you as soon as we met”

I'd heard him say those very words to at least a dozen other inot my na

”Good,” he said, ”good for you”

I wished hi of the Microbes,” he said ”You're gonna buy one, right?”

”Absolutely”