Part 14 (1/2)

”Don't worry, I' about you anymore”

”Then why you still writin' in that notebook?”

I shrugged Link sht me in a lie I would continue to ined

The Christmas card from Oxford

CHAPTER 47

Every day after the four o'clock stand-up count, the Dutchtown inround floor of our unit for uilty about the a friend Andpeople into action, had encouraged all her friends to write, too I received dozens of ular supply of books and letters Most, I' friends to write

And Mom was particularly proficient, too She sent newspaper clippings and snippets about es of friends and acquaintances She sent photos of our fa to receive, they also re

I received a Christraph, of Linda and the kids in front of the courthouse in Oxford, was stunningly beautiful Wreaths with red bows had been hung between each white arch of the courthouse facade The photograph was taken on a cool day in the late afternoon Bits of sunlight illuminated the courthouse walls between the shadows cast by the leafless limbs of the oak trees Linda, arms wrapped around the children, wore a thick white sweater with a dark peacoat and scarf Maggie wore a red velvet dress with a lace collar And Little Neil wore a blue blazer with a red-and-blue striped tie

It was the saddest Christmas card I had ever received It waswas clear She wason I put Linda's card in

I wanted to perfor a srounds A burial I would leave the sye here, where it ended, at the colony But what if, by so buried on the grounds, I'd never be able to retrieve it

So instead, I placedband inside an envelope I sealed it and wrote on the outside, Wedding Ring I found an eiven me, and I buried the envelope deep inside

CHAPTER 48

My nightmares about the children persisted In every drea or a tall tree or ain an apart theround And at the end of each dreahtmare, , covered in sweat

Doc even got used to it He would groan and put a pillow over his head On the nights when the dreams came to me, I would climb out of bed and walk the corridors until it was tis under htmares,” I told her ”Ever have them?”

”Musta,” she said, ”just don't remember” But Ella did tell ,” she said ”My momma holds ainst her breast, rocked her in an old wooden chair, and sang hyo to sleep, but I'm already asleep”

”I be all warot this disease”

Ella's drea theme, too Her ot what Jesus talk about in the Bible I wouldn'ta throwed you out'” Ella soes to sleep”

Listening to her describe this drea the way she held herself, I realized that, somehow, Ella had escaped the shame of leprosy

I'd read about a brief period in medieval Europe when some Christians considered leprosy a sacred disease Infection, a a leper, one of Christ's poor, meant a sufferer need not wait for any rapture Resurrection occurred immediately The belief that leprosy was a Godly disease was so widespread that Lazar houses and leper colonies were likehis hands on an outcast, washi+ng the open wounds on a leper's feet, would get him one step closer to heaven And Father Damien, the Martyr of Molokai, had perpetuated that conviction He said that if he were to contract leprosy-which, in the end, he did-he would gain a ”crown of thorns”

But this view of leprosy had disappeared Over the last five centuries, leprosy, and all the stigoes with the disease, found its way back into the human psyche

But Ella carried her leprosy like a divine blessing She had faith that she would be healed in heaven She embraced the life she believed God had chosen for her on earth She had transcended the stight Maggie and Neil to visit as often as possible Our hours together in the visiting room were a precious time As we played and talked, my mother sat quietly in the corner and read She could not have given ift than those ie weren't on the road to seetheer I wrote about the exciting things ould do together when I was released

I created two coie's coalina Ballerina The heroine was a four-year-old girl who used ballet er Neil's comic was entitled Hoverboard Boy Hoverboard Boy The hero, Little Neil, used his superpowers and a hoverboard-a flying skateboard like the one used in the Back to the Future Back to the Future movies-to save the world from evil movies-to save the world fro one of the coht see up plots where his children fought criain, I didn't feel like a convict when I was being a father

”Have they captured any check kiters yet?” Steve said

Steve could be a real ass But he was funny, too

When I wasn't writing to, and illustrating coie, I wrote to everyone I ever knerote to the victiize, to ine soe buddies I wrote to old girlfriends I wrote to forh school teachers I wrote to other journalists and writers I wrote to friends of e Gex I wrote to my buddy Willie Morris The return address on my letters included my inmate number, as well as Carville's address

Some afternoons after mail call, Link would follow me back to my room to watch me open my envelopes At times, he asked me to read my letter out loud He particularly enjoyed ht her expressions were hilarious

”What'd you get today, Clark Kent?” Link asked

I held up a copy of the Wall Street Journal Wall Street Journal and and USA Today USA Today, a couple of e from my mother, and a letter from my old friend Willie Morris Months earlier, when I was still in the denial phase, I had written Willie and described soe Pliht be interested in a participatory journalistic piece Willie knew just about everyone in the literary world He was vaguely encouraging, and he suggested that I just continue to write Willie was too kind to point out the absurdity of pretending to be an undercover journalist during a prison term, but his tone said it all He had lost the enthusiasm he had for me earlier in my career

Despite the mood of the letter, I was proud that he had writtensouthern writers”

”What he write?” Link asked

”North Toward Ho of Marcus Dupree The Courting of Marcus Dupree He was editor of Harper's Harper's e thirty-one” Link didn't look ree thirty-one” Link didn't look reest ever,” I added

”Another borin'-ass, white e manila envelope from my mother It was copies from another self-help book A note was scrawled in a corner-that I should never forget how precious I was Mo was terrible, primarily because she was always in a rush She once made our school lunch sandwiches so hurriedly she left the plastic wrappers on the Kraft cheese slices

Link sat on the side of one of the bunks He was quiet, which was unusual

”Anything wrong?” I asked