Chapter 519 (2/2)
Lily blinked. “Why I’ve got the feeling that you talked like an MLMer?”
Nangong Sanba stared at the golden apple in Hao Ren’s hands, none the wiser. He asked instinctively, “What if I don’t join?”
“I don’t think a normal person can resist this. But if you insist not to join—yes, you can,” said Hao Ren, taking out a pen from his dimensional pocket again. “Then look at the little lamp here and wait for me to count to three and you will forget everything you see in the other worlds. But truth be told, I don’t know if this thing would work. When my boss handed it to me, it was said to come from Er Li Qiao Wholesale Market, the largest gathering place of fake celestial community. There is a bunch of guys who always uses counterfeit gadgets to make money. So this thing may make you forget a lot more things. It’s said that there is a ten-percent chance of causing gender identity disorder, but rest assured I’ll recommend you some gay website where you can embark on another journey of happiness. You will not remember the women you had loved… Lily, please don’t bite!”
Lily let off her bite and raised her head away from Hao Ren’s arm. “You’ve been talking load of nonsense!”
Cold sweat trickled down Nangong Sanba’s back. He quickly swore. “I solemnly declare that I’m in—by the way, how come I suddenly feel that you are like an illegal organisation…”
“You won’t be able to find a more legitimate team than us in the whole world,” said Nangong Wuyue, sticking out her tongue and giving Hao Ren a shit look. “It’s just that the captain is a little weird making you a little confused.”
“Fine, Wuyue will brief you about the situation of our Space Administration’s EN35 node at Bastard Barrio office. After that, I’ll take you reporting to my superior,” said Hao Ren, putting away the pen and letting the siren maiden handle the rest. “I’m going to find Big Beardy. As the door to The Plane of Dreams has now been opened. I have to ask if he wants to go home.”
“He has gone out to classes,” Y’zaks stopped Hao Ren. “He’ll be back in the evening.”
Hao Ren asked dumbfoundedly, “What classes?”
“He’s giving talk on health, environmental protection and low-carbon life to the backstreet gang of old folks and housewives who,” Y’zaks said. “The class that was opened a week ago is now booming… he is fast becoming a friend of women.”
Hao Ren was struck dumb. He could not imagine Big Beardy, the most rustic, boring ascetic had become a hit. But when he heard that the Big Beardy had gathered so many people and giving talk to them, he faintly felt something was not quite right. He quickly went out. “I’ll find him!”
When Hao Ren came to the back street wanting to find someone to ask where the lectures were at, he found that was not necessary: there was a crowd gathered under the big mandarin tree on the eastern side of the street. Eight out of ten were women. Without needing asking, it must be Big Beardy who was preaching there. He hurried over to the clearing where the crowd assembled and saw Big Beardy was sitting on a rock giving his lecture solemnly:
“…so the path of natural harmony is the way of long-term survival. Our predecessors taught us that everything in the world comes from the same place and will die and return to the same place as well. All things are equal and particles of this world. Whether they are rich or poor, what left of them will be just flesh and bones at the end, just like the plants and the tree. Such is the principle of life. Man is made of dust and will return to the earth, so one should be content with life and be happy with what one has. Eat sparingly and you will be fine; sleep soundly and you will be well; dress modestly as that’s all your body needs. If you would like to enjoy yourself, be self-sufficient…”
As Big Beardy talked, the housewives just kept nodding their heads. The low-carbon and environmentally-friendly topics were most suitable for their appetite though they understood none of them.
Suddenly there was a voice from the side. “Hao Ren? You come for the class too?”
Hao Ren turned his head and found the one speaking was an old neighbour, the fat boss who opened a supermarket at the end of the street. He shook his head and said, “I’m here to find someone. You come for the talk too?”
“Who in their right mind would want to listen to this? I’m here to drag my wife back home,” said the fat boss, almost crying. “It makes people’s life miserable… she has been bewitched and I’ve had no proper meal at home for days. She even told me that if I wanted to eat meat, I would have to go and catch rabbits in the wild myself.
Hao Ren: “…..”